You ARE My Real Dad - FaroeKing (2024)

Chapter 1: How It All Started

Chapter Text

Blitzo slammed his…3rd? 5th? 10th? Whatever. He slammed down his empty glass onto the table, muttering to the bartender to get him another. His brain was going to kill him in the morning, but for now, he just wanted some relief, from the f*cking awful day at work.

So many miserable, annoying little sh*ts, constantly pestering him for balloons and little festive animals. Their loud obnoxious cries and moans, whenever his balloon animals burst upon contact; while some of them puked on his clown suit from eating too much sugar. Their even more obnoxious parents, chastising him for getting the shape wrong or even running out of balloons like that was his f*cking fault. All the while, he could hear the happy, excited cheers and laughter coming from the tent not too far away, where the robotic copy of his former best friend soaked up the adoration he longed for. Whenever he glanced over, he could feel the clown silently mocking him, as if to remind him of his own failed dreams and the long series of f*ck ups in his short life.

By the time his day was over, he needed a f*cking drink. And not any of the half-baked sh*t from the pubs in Greed. No. He wanted the good stuff.

Maybe it was reckless and dumb of him to blow a chunk of his savings on a trip to Gluttony, but if it meant getting God-Tier Beelzejuice straight from the taint of Beelzebub herself, he was willing to make that sacrifice. Anything to scratch off the stress of his Satan awful day.

“Rough night?”

It came from a meek and almost silent voice to his side. The imp turned to find a hellhound looking at him, with a sad sympathetic smile, her white fur ruined by spots of bruising and a hideous black eye.

Had his lips not been so loosened up by the drink, he would’ve told the woman to f*ck off and leave him be. Instead, Blitzo accepted his latest drink from the disgusted bartender and turned to her with a frustrated groan. “Bitch, in my work it’s a rough LIFE! f*cking kids, can’t keep their claws to themselves. f*cking asshole parents, f*cking bigger asshole robo-clown! Ugh, if I didn’t need the money I’d-” the imp's threat got drowned out, by him chugging his latest drink. The hellhound didn’t respond but listened to him quietly with that same melancholy look. “You?”

“Oh…” She hesitated for a bit, tugging her hair behind her ear, and turned away, to keep her blackeye hidden. “Well…my boyfriend and I had a fight.”

“Looks to me like it was a lot more than that.” It was a horrible thing to say, but then so was almost everything that came out of Blitzo’s tipsy lips.

Surprisingly the hellhound didn’t get mad. She just laughed sadly, before taking a long drink from her own poison: “Oh…nonono, it’s-it’s fine. These things happen, you know? He’s just overworked is all.…I’ll be okay.” She said with a shy, unsure voice; it was clear she was trying to convince herself more than him.

Blitzo eyed her quietly, debating on whether or not to say anything. “Sure,” he simply muttered as he accepted another bottle, in unison with his new drinking buddy.

He drank it slowly this time, the alcohol now giving him little relief after so long, his sips almost being in perfect sync with the hellhound. He side-eyed the hellhound, as she finished her glass at the same time he did and both put them down on the counter. He could recognise that look from anywhere. She was lonely. In need of comfort and caring. Almost as much as he needed some good stress relief right now. Blitzo couldn’t deny that besides her bruises the hellhound’s white coat was really pretty. Despite his long, hard day, he wanted to do something for the poor woman. And like the idiot Blitzo was, he said the first thing that came to mind.

“Wanna f*ck?”

“…okay.”

Blitzo was woken up, by a loud knocking on his door. He just groaned and tried to ignore the sound. It had been another murderous day, and he had returned home too exhasuted to take off his clothes before bed; he just wanted one f*cking night where he could get some hours of peaceful sleep without any interruption. It was probably just Wally with another braindead idea or the landlord coming to drink what little blood he had left.

He closed his eyes and turned from the source of the noise. But despite his best attempts to fall back asleep, turning to the other side of the bed, and covering his ears with his pillow, the knocking persisted, growing stronger and louder by the second. There was only so much he could take before he snapped.

Finally, he had enough. Pulling out his flintlock, he loudly marched over to the front door and kicked it open, raising his gun to kill whatever pest had annoyed him.

To his annoyance, there was no one there. Not a soul in sight.

Just the sound of footsteps running away into the night.

And the small rumbling and yips coming from something below him.

Carefully he looked downwards. Close to the door on the steps, was a small cardboard box, with tiny holes poked in. On top was a note. And whatever was inside it was alive.

The imp debated on whether or not to open the box, or simply going back to sleep. After all, who knows what the f*ck was inside? Curiosity, ultimately won through, and slowly he opened the lid and peaked at the contents of the box.

Inside, was a tiny, frail, little creature stirring upon the sudden influx of air and light, and with a soft cry, it began to turn. It…kinda looked like a hellhound. Except for the tiny but scaly tail. And the feet that looked more like hooves than paws. And the bits of scales over her body. And the small nubs on its back, that resembled spikes. And…the two black horns on her head. The imp examined the pup, confused at what was going on. Then it turned to face him.

And his flintlock was dropped with a gasp of shock.

Right on the middle of the pup’s forehead; right between her slowly opening yellow eyes, was a small but visible heart-shaped skull symbol. The exact type that he had.

The imp just stared at the child in astonishment, unable to believe what he was looking at. The pup looked back in confusion, then let out out a small cry. In desperation, Blitzo pulled out the note looking for answers or some kind of reassurance. All it did was confirm that growing dread he was feeling.

Looking down at the imp-pup, now weakly smiling towards him, one of her arms reaching out towards him, with no idea what to do next. How was he supposed to? Not once in his life, did he ever think this would happen to him; not like this.

The two stared at each other unmoving. The gentle wind blew the note out of Blitzo’s loose grip, sending it flying into the air and the burning distances of Hell. And whoever found that note, would be able to read the message written. Three short, simple sentences:

This is your daughter.

Her name is Loona.

Please, take care of her.

Chapter 2: Imp-Pup: The First Two Weeks

Chapter Text

“f*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckFFFFUUUUCCCKKK!” Blitzo screamed in unbearable anguish over the whole situation, crouched at the far corner of his bedroom, hands on the head, eyes wide with dread as he looked at the tiny newborn lying calmly on the floor, looking around the place in childlike curiosity. It had only been minutes since he first found her outside of his apartment and the imp was still not done freaking the hell out.

He had a daughter?! How the f*ck did he have a daughter?! He hadn’t had sex in months!

…well, none that had involved hellhounds. Had it happened at that big Post-Extermination-Day survival party/orgy he had attended in Imp City? That had to be it right? The only other option was that one time in Gluttony with that one woman. B-but, he had been careful! Sure, Blitzo had been drunk out of his mind, but he was pretty sure he had worn a condom during the do. Then again, it did have a small tear in it, when he had thrown it away-

…Oh. Oh right. sh*t! How could he be so stupid?! He should've known better than to-

Blitzo’s thoughts came to a halt when he noticed the baby imp-pup, Loona he remembered was her name, starting to play with his flintlock, which he had carelessly left on the floor. “OH f*ck! It’s a baby with a gun!” The imp immediately went to pry the gun off the brat’s paws. Turns out, baby imp-pups were much stronger than they look; pulling the gun out of the brat's hands felt like a herculean task for the grown imp, while she just laughed the whole time like it was some silly game. “How are you so strong?!”

The brat just giggled as she started crawling over the apartment. Blitzo watched her for a minute and then exhaled heavily, putting the gun on a high shelf far out of the baby’s reach.

What the f*ck was he going to do?

He couldn’t be a dad! Not now! He could barely take care of himself, much less a child! The stand-up and performing gig hadn’t paid off and he was still working on his comeback, so until then, Blitzo had to work long, painful days at LooLoo Land just to get through the day. And even then it was barely enough to sustain himself. Largely due to his pony doll obsession.Not that he’d ever admit that. Where would he even find the money to support her? Or even the time to make sure she was alive and well?

That and the only father figure he knew was…Cash Buckzo. Though to even call the bastard a father, would be a compliment in the imp’s mind. That greedy, selfish, cheating, manipulative, slave-driving, neglectful asshole, could drown in piss for all he cared. He should’ve been the one to die, not his mom! He wished every night, that he would never become like his old man. That was why he promised himself never to have children. He couldn't trust himself to be a dad.

But, now he was. And if Cash had been that bad, Satan knows how awful Blitzo would be. The imp shook his head. No, he couldn’t do it. The kid had to go, first thing in the morning. Or better yet, tonight. He could drop her off at some orphanage or home, where someone else could take care of her. Far away from him; it was best for every-

Blitzo's thoughts were interrupted, by the sound of a delightful giggle and dolls hitting the floor. He turned and gasped in horror at seeing the brat touching HIS precious horse dolls. Bacon Arms! Goat Cheese! Ugly Plant! Paperweight! Missile Hooves! Sawdust! And what was the one she was chewing on right now? Gasp! Olive Garden!!!

“Hey! Heyhey! Hey, get away from horses!” Blitzo immediately bolted towards the brat, grabbing all the dolls in his arms and yanking away the one she was chewing on. “No! Bad imp-hound-girl! These are my horsies, yah hear? Mine! You don’t touch.”

At first, the brat just sat there confused, then slowly her lips started quivering, her ears lowered and tears started balling up as a small whine escaped from her mouth. Upon seeing this, the imp panicked. “Oh sh*t! Oh no! No! Nononono, don’t start crying, don’t start crying, please for the love of f*ck don’t start crying!”

“…wwwwwWWWAAAAAAAAHHHH!”

His pleas fell on deaf ears as the tiny brat, burst into hysterical tears, screaming so loudly it woke up everyone in the apartment complex. It wouldn't be long before Blitzo would get several loud bangs against his walls and door, demanding he put an end to the noise. The imp frantically looked around debating on what to do, trying to find some other way to appease the wailing baby. “Eh, eh…okay, calm down, calm down little guy. No more crying buddy?” When his small pleas didn’t work, nor did his attempts at cuddling the baby. sh*t! What would Fizz do in this situation?

"Hey, kid! Don't you cry! Let the amazing Blitz, show you how to turn your frown UPSIDEDOWN!" He gave her a big fake smile and stood there try best to recreate a pose from his circus days. When it briefly caught the baby's attention, the imp smiled hopefully. Then with a wide proud grin, he stretched his arms out, performing one of his tricks, a quick cartwheel, and a handstand. He got halfway into the cartwheel, before he sprained his hand, causing a loud cry of pain, and then he flopped headfirst into the floor.

The brat blinked for a moment, and then…she started laughing. Like it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. Blitzo lay there on the ground unmoving for a bit, unsure how to feel. On the one hand, the only reason she had laughed was no doubt because he had failed. But, at least she had enjoyed it. Most of the time all the kids he entertained either booed him or started crying. It had been a while since he had heard genuine laughter. It felt…nice.

He picked himself up, and turned to the baby, as she picked up another one of his ponies. A dark brown, ugly-looking thing. She examined it for a moment, then brighten up with a cute giggle. Blitzo sighed. “Okay, okay, you can have Mudslide, she’s my least favorite anyway. Just enough with the noise alright?!” The baby didn't respond but seemed to like her new toy as she happily chewed on it, much to the frustrations of Blitzo.

“Oh, come on! Look, if you’re gonna get your greasy, gross baby fingers on my horses, you gotta play with them right! Here, let me show you,” he took out one of his dolls, and placed it on the floor, he pretended that it was galloping towards the baby, and spoke in a high-pitched, overly cartoony voice. “Hi there, I’m Goat Cheese! I like to smoke weed and trample on cats! Could you please let my friend out of your mouth, so we can play?”

The baby looked curiously at the new playmate, giggling at the sight. It seemed to do the trick as she pulled the doll out of her mouth, and started mimicking Blitzo’s moves. The grown imp couldn't help but smile a little at the display. For a whiny, snot-filled child, she was surprisingly cute when she stopped crying. And smart.

The two of them played for a while longer before the baby imp-pup finally yawned and fell into a deep exhaustive sleep. Which Blitzo was thankful for. f*ck he should’ve clocked in hours ago! Now he was going to be late for this shift, the next morning. Well, at least the kid was happy now. And asleep. And all things considered, he had had fun, playing with the little tyke.

Maybe she could stay around for a while. But no more than a day or two. Three tops…

It had been a week now, and already the baby was draining him dry like a f*cking leech.

Who the f*ck knew babies were so high-maintenance? Thanks to his new guest, Blitzo hadn't even been able to afford dinner, having to buy everything she needed. Diapers, formula, toys, onesies, blankets, he was just thankful the box worked as a crib, so he didn’t have to buy an actual one!

Blitzo had never been good at math; he could barely do basic multiplications without a calculator on standby. But at this rate, the imp would be lucky to afford the rent by the end of the week, unless he sold some of his stuff. Not to mention how hectic her presence had made his life, as struggling between his laborious job and making sure the baby was okay, left him dead exhausted at the end of the day and with barely a whiff of free time to himself. He was just thankful, Loo Loo Land had a giant baby playpen/care center, dedicated to taking care of the kids their parents didn’t want to deal with for the day, where he could drop her off during the shift. Would've been better, if the sh*thole had paid paternity leave, but it was better than nothing.

It was official; it was time for the baby to go. Preferably soon, before she took every penny he owned or he poisoned her like he did everyone else.

Now he just needed someplace to put her, and thankfully a quick bit of searching led to him finding an orphanage a short walking distance from his apartment. The Bedlam Institute.A large, gothic-looking orphanage, filled to the brim with children of any species and age, with a very frequent adoption rate. Perfect! He could drop her off first thing in the morning.

And sure, the building was a bit run down and Blitzo noticed that many of the kids there, didn’t look too happy. Some of them looked a bit bruised even…but, he was sure it was nothing to worry about. A cute, little baby like her would be bound to get adopted in no time! Yep! It was all fine. He could drop by tomorrow, hand her over to the caretakers and all his troubles would be-

CHOMP!

“GAH-f*ck!” Blitzo exclaimed in pain. Turning from his seat, he found the baby brat, her gummy mouth wrapped around his tail. Even without teeth, the bite hurt like a bitch! The imp hissed and jerked his tail harshly, throwing the pup off. “Hey, kid! What did I tell you about biting my tail? I don’t care if you’re my daughter or not if you get your gums on my tail one more-hey!”

He jerked his tail upwards, as the imp-pup leaped up to try and catch his tail. Blitzo grumbled in annoyance. Not even a month old, and yet she was surprisingly feisty and incredibly agile and fast. Were all babies this tricky or just the hybrids?

He wouldn’t mind so much, if it wasn't for the fact, she was constantly trying to catch his tail, like it was a chew toy. Damn kid.

Blitzo shook his head in annoyance, his tail instinctively moving to the right. As it did, the little one started following it, her little tail wagging as she moved. The imp noticed this, eying her curiously. On a whim, he moved his tail towards the left, just to see what would happen. Sure enough, the kid followed with a small yip. He moved back to the right, and she followed. Then the left and the same thing. He gently wiggled it around, and her head moved in unison. He lifted it and she did her best to stand up, leaning against his chair. He lowered it…and Loona went for the bite, causing him to flick it upward before she caught on.

Blitzo couldn’t resist an amused chuckling to himself. This was both fun and incredibly adorable. Especially with how Loona eyed the tail with those big curious puppy dog eyes. His phone and the orphanage went forgotten, as the imp played with Loona for a good hour, him constantly moving his tail about, and watching her give chase or try to bite it, much to his delight. It went on for a good long while before she had an accident in her diaper. That soiled the fun quite a bit.

Still, after he changed her and went back to his phone, he couldn’t deny he had fun. The little Loona had spirit, smarts, and bundles of determination. She almost reminded Blitzo of himself during his youth. The thought brought back painful memories of his past. He sighed bitterly. How things had changed…

He turned back to his phone, wanting to distract himself. Looking back at the photos of the orphanage, he started to notice some red flags about the place. The building looked like it was moments away from ruin; with only the lowest amount of effort and money used to keep it running. The playground looked like a deathtrap waiting to go off, many of the adopters, were people associated with shady businesses. The beds seemed much too rough for children; and speaking of which, had they always looked so pale, thin, bruised up and death-like? It was as if they hadn't been fed for days and just left there to rot. Good Satan, what were they doing to those kids?!

On second thought, maybe this wasn’t the best place for his Loona. If they were doing this to kids, he didn’t even wanna imagine how they treated babies. She needed something better.

Blitzo searched to see what other orphanages were available, hoping to find something a little more caring and safe for Loona. He looked up the second closest place he could find. Lady Carmilla’s Home for Children.That seemed promising.

Finding a good orphanage or home proved to be as easy as finding a needle in a haystack. Or a good person in Hell. Or a neckbeard without cheese puff stains on their fingers.

For nearly four days, Blitzo had spent browning the net for some, f*ck, any orphanage that wasn’t a pile of sh*t, filled with awful, uncaring bastards, where the children would be forced to work themselves to exhaustion or sold for criminally low prices. To make matters worse, while many of the establishments seemed perfectly kind towards imps, succubi, and occasionally hellhounds, most of them treated hybrids like animals with some outright refusing to take them in. Blitzo had searched on his phone across different cities, various territories, and even in every Ring, looking for one place that would treat Loona well.

And finally, near the end of the second week since Loona had arrived by his door, he had found it. Duke Focalor’s Home for Orphans and Lost Children.A small but respected orphanage in the Envy Ring, overseen by the Ars Goetia Duke, dedicated to making sure all its children were cared for, treated well, and given loving homes, no matter what species, age, or status they were.

It was almost too good to be true. But after a long night of research, reading reviews, finding some former kids of their's and even going down to sneak a peak himself, it seemed this place was legit. It was the perfect place for Loona! He could drop her off there tomorrow morning; she could get a good home and he could return to his usual life and financial stability.

Just one more night, and it would be over.

Sadly for Blitzo, Hell was going to make it the worst night of his life.

“WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! WAH! WAH! WAAAH! WAAAAAAAAH!!!”

“Come on, Loona! Please, please stop crying, I’m begging here!” Blitzo cried out exhausted, trying to calm down the wailing imp-pup. She had been at this, since 1 am, and he had no idea what it was. She didn’t need a change. He had just fed her before bed so it couldn’t be that. He had tried giving her toys, even playing with his tail, but nothing. His cartwheels failed to garner a laugh, and his jokes and attempts at pratfalls, which often did the trick, failed to get as much as a giggle. All it did was make her cry even more. It was getting late, and the neighbors were getting furious, banging on his door, demanding he shot the baby up, with some even threatening to put Loona down, and the imp was running out of ideas.

“f*cking Satan, what do you want from me?!” He exclaimed in anguish, which only increased the baby’s wail. “Look, I’m trying here okay? I’m trying my f*cking best here, it’s not super good, but come on, you gotta cut me some slack! I know you can’t talk, but please, just tell me what you want! Just.…give me something, I-I-I-I…I…I don’t know what to do…”

Blitzo crumbled after that, days of frustration, stress, lack of sleep, and anguish coming loose as he broke into tears beside Loona. f*ck…he couldn’t do this! He couldn’t be a dad! If he couldn’t even figure out what Loona wanted as a baby, what luck would he have when she was grown up?! He was a failure. A miserable excuse of a father, just like his old man. What the f*ck was he supposed to do?!

sh*t! If only his mom were here, she'd know what to do!

…And then, he remembered something. A memory long since passed during his circus days. One of their horse tamers had just given birth a while back. And one night, the baby started crying, wailing so hard it echoed throughout the ring. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t get her child to sleep. It was waking everyone up. They all started complaining, his dad threatened to kick her out if she didn’t get it to stop. And then, his mother walked over to her. She comforted the woman, took the baby from her hands, gently rocked it, and sang a lullaby. And eventually, the baby calmed down and fell asleep.

He turned to the crying baby and knew what he could do. “Please let this work,” Blitzo whispered to him. He gently picked up Loona and held her close to his chest, the action already causing the child’s cries to die down a bit. Then he closed his eyes, began to rock, and sang her the lullaby:

‘When I was young
And scared of the world
My mother would sing me a song
A tune that I keep in a sacred place
Because I know that my life won't be long

It tells of the place where you go
When your time here in Hell is through
A beautiful place we call Inferno
Is it true?
Please, Satan, I pray that it's true

'Cause once this land was Inferno in Hell
Great lands were all you could see
But now it's soot and steel and brick
So it looks more like heaven to me

And each day brings more and more suffering
And each night is silence and fear
And I wake to the sound of your voice
And hope you're here
Oh, mom, I hope you’re here

So now we lay us down to sleep
I pray Satan
Our souls to keep
Please let us die before we wake
So Satan our souls can take

Then maybe we'll finally find you
'Midst the beauty of paradise
And we'll sing not of dying
But living

Wouldn't that be nice?
Wouldn't that be nice?’

By the time he was finished, he realized he could no longer hear any crying. He opened his eyes and looked down. There in his arms, sleeping soundly, her head nestled close to his heart, was Loona…his daughter.

The sight brought the first happy tears to the imp’s eye in years. He gently kissed her on the head, hugged her, and placed her beside him on the bed, enjoying what might be his last tender moment with his daughter.

f*ck, he was going to miss her.

“And this is the playground! When you’re big and strong, you’ll be able to play there with the rest of the kids. See? There’s the slide. Over there’s the swig!” Blitzo explained, pointing to the playground equipment shown on his phone, while he sat on his bed with his daughter. Loona looked at the pictures confused, unsure of what to make of them. Blitzo continued, showing her another series of photos. “This is where you’ll sleep, see? They got some cozy crips, with baby alarms, mobiles, and all the plushies you could want. And one day, you’ll move onto bunk beds. Like these! If you’re lucky, you might get the top bunk. You’ll be able to look down on the other worthless sh*ts and rule them like a motherf*cking queen. I mean, come on what’s not to love?!”

His daughter just looked at him with those big curious eyes, no idea what was going on, and yet, watching him in a way that caused guilt to well up in the imp’s mind. Blitzo frowned and looked at her sadly. “Look, kid, I know you don’t want this but…I have to. Okay? This-this is for the best. For both of us. I can’t raise a kid. sh*t, most days I struggle to take care of myself, I mean, I'm not good with money, I work all day, I drink more beer than water, and…I'm just not safe to be around. Y-you deserve a good home, with a loving Ma and great Pa. And not-”

Not someone like him

Blitzo couldn't finish himself. He gently put Loona on the side of the bed, as he went to mail Focalor’s orphanage. With a deep sigh, he opened up the contact page and began writing his letter, reading it out aloud as he did.

“Dear orphanage place. I would like to place my baby up for adoption because there’s no way in Hell I should be a father. I mean, I’m broke, I’m always busy, I’m selfish, I’m a greedy no-good asshole, with all the empathy of a pile of sh*t, who ruins the lives of everyone I’ve ever-”

After a pause, Blitzo skipped his current sentence for now and continued.

“Her name is Loona. The baby I’m putting up for adoption, I mean. She’s a half-imp and half-hellhound kid about a few weeks old. I should warn you, she’s a royal pain in the ass. She’ll bite everything in sight, her sh*ts stink like behemoth crap and lingers even after she’s been changed, she cries like a virgin after disappointing his girlfriend in bed, she loves playing with people’s tails, she won’t fall asleep without her doll and she loves to be picked up and held close to y-your heart as…”

Blitzo could feel his fingers shaking as he wrote. He skipped to the next part.

“Please, make sure she gets a good home. I mean, the family that gets her better be a bunch of angels or sweet old grannies. Not some abusive, uncaring bastards that’ll treat her like sh*t, just for existing! I know this is Hell, I know some of you assholes, probably don’t give a sh*t what happens to the kids, but don’t do that to her! I’m begging you guys, please. S-she deserves a good home and a good family. S-someone who’ll…love her…”

It was getting harder and harder to write as the imp went on, thoughts crowing in his mind. And the feeling of his daughter against his side, looking up at him didn’t help. Blitzo shook his head and did his best to finish the letter.

“Look, I know I just said Loona is a handful, but she’s more than that damn it! She’s cute! Like insanely f*cking cute. Those tiny horns, her little tail, the cute spike on her back, and these beautiful yellow eyes, you could just go swimming in them. She has so much energy and she’s a feisty little devil. She has the most adorable little laugh and looks so precious when she sleeps. When you p-pat or s-s-scratch her between the horns, she lets out this adorable little giggle, w-which makes your worries melt a-away. And…and when she looks at you, all bright-eyed and h-h-happy, y-you…you get the feeling like…e-e-everything’s going to be o-okay. T-that, everything will…will…”

Blitzo hadn’t even noticed he was crying until he heard his tears fall on the keyboard. His hands started shaking, his fingers removed to budge even a bit, and his phone suddenly weighed as much as a brick of gold, as he looked at his message and heard his daughter worried cooing beside him. Blitzo sat there, for what felt like hours.

And then with a pained cry, he deleted the message, threw his phone against the wall, and turned to Loona. “Fine, you win! You f*cking win! Are you happy you little sh*t?! You want me as your dad? Well, here I am! You’re gonna get the whole package; the whole sh*t-covered, trainwreck screwed-up package of a father. So don’t cry, when it turns out to be worse than you thought!”

He exclaimed all that a bit too loudly and angrily than intended, his tone frightening Loona as she started to cry. Shocked, he instantly backpedaled and gently apologized. “Oh no, no, no, I-I’m sorry Loona. D-Daddy’s so sorry. It's just…so much right now. But I'm sorry.” He picked his daughter up and began rocking, calming her down. Looking at his daughter, Blitzo sighed. “Look, I’m not gonna lie and say everything’s gonna be okay. They’re not. I have to work long hours just to feed myself, and even then it’s barely enough. And that's before you showed up. I’m not gonna be able to spend much time with you most days. I might have to take some more jobs, just to make sure you're okay. And sometimes, I won’t be able to get you everything you need or want. And, f*ck, I’m not gonna know what to do half the time. I mean, I had a great mom…the best one I could ask for, but my dad was a f*cking selfish asshole, who saw me more as a working horse than a person.” He gave her a bittersweet smile, as he hugged her close. “But, that’s never gonna stop me from trying. You deserve so much more than I can offer, but I promise, I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you’re okay. That you turn out better than me. Even if it hurts me, even if I have to give up everything I own, I’ll make sure you’re alive and that you’re happy. No matter what happens, I will never abandon you, I’ll never let you down, yah hear? You’re my daughter! And I…I love you.”

He hugged Loona, his daughter, against his chest, gently stroking her mane as he smiled. In turn, Loona cooed softly and rubbed against him, wrapping her tail around his arm. The two of them sat there in silence. At that moment, nothing else mattered except the two of them.

“I love you Loonie.”

Chapter 3: Imp-Pup: The Heist

Chapter Text

“Come on, come on,” Blitzo softly growled, as he struggled to crawl his way forward; trapped in a tiny square hallway, barely big enough for him. As he moved, the top of his horn hit the upper part of the vent, causing him to briefly bite in pain. “Gah, Satan damn it, since when are vents this f*cking hard to crawl through? Those bullsh*t action movies lied to me!”

The imp could barely crawl 5 inches, as he felt trapped inside the vent. Not only was he way too big for the surprisingly thin passageway, but his horns kept hitting the ceiling, and his emptied backpack was only adding to his already too-wide body, slowing his progress even further. All of this combined was making his stealthy break-in, an absolute chore. Not to mention it was already 3 am, and he had to start work at 6 am, further adding to his already miserable plight. But, still, he pressed on. It would be worth it, once he finally got his hands on his prize. Nothing was going to get in his way-

His brave crawl was interrupted as the metal beneath him groaned and shook, under his weight. For a moment, the imp feared it was all over for him, as he stood still as stone, dreading what might happen next. After a few seconds of groaning, it seemed everything would be fine. Blitzo let out a small sigh and crawled forward…

And the vent collapsed from his touch.

“Oh f*ck-”

The imp had just enough time to finish his curse, before he fell through the newly made hole, formed from the pressure, sending him back first into an aisle, before he collapsed face-first into the ground. The prone Blitzo lay there for a good moment, moaning in pain at his plight.

On the bright side, he had made it close enough to his goal. Even if he had nearly broken his back just to get there. Now, he just had to collect his prize and leave before the big guy of the place noticed and came looking. Which considering his rather loud crash, would be any second now.

Blitzo painfully pulled himself up and started searching the place. It was completely dark all around him, and he had forgotten his flashlight back home, making visibility and trying to find what he came for much harder. But, then again that was probably for the best. If he had started using it, that might’ve attracted the wrong attention. The fewer people that saw him, the less likely his chances of escaping would be.

Speaking of which, a loud series of footsteps started trampling down the stairs and towards the backdoor. The imp silently cursed and quickly hid behind the opposite wall, making it just in time as a large, muscular corgi hellhound kicked open the door, with a massive shotgun in between his hands. “Alright! Who’s there?! Who the f*ck’s there?! I know you’re hiding you little sh*t! Why don’t you make this easier for the both of us, and just step out so I can kill you!”

The hound clicked the safety off his gun for emphasis and started scanning across the store. His expert night vision allowed him to see as if the lights were on. He slowly marched across the store, his eyes shifting across the room and his nose sniffing in the air to locate his prey. Thankfully, Blitzo had enough sense, to put on some Anti-Hellhound-Scent powder on him, to buy himself some more time. Now he just needed to find what he came for, and get the hell out of there. Preferably without the corgi noticing.

The imp held his breath, as the hellhound approached his hiding place. He carefully sneaked past the corgi, managing to just barely duck underneath the conveniently empty bottom shelf of another aisle, as the hellhound walked past him. Blitzo waited until the corgi has a good distance away, before emerging. Checking his pockets, he quietly grumbled as he realized his flintlock was back home. As if things weren’t hard enough. Now he had to get his things quickly, while also not getting noticed or shot, and he didn’t even have a weapon to defend himself. The night just kept getting better.

As he exited his hiding place, however, he finally managed to stumble onto some good fortune. He recognized one of the items on display. Meaning that what he was looking for, was nearby. If he could just get the hellhound off his trail for a bit, he could get what he wanted and be out, in a manner of minutes.

Slowly, Blitzo crept towards his goal, making sure to keep his body against the wall and his eyes locked on the corgi whenever possible. Bit by bit, he inched closer to his goal, nearly getting caught by the hellhound on multiple occasions, only avoiding his gaze through quick thinking and hiding skills he had honed after years of running from responsibilities.

Finally, he had made it. Right there, on the top shelf were boxes upon boxes of all the goods he wanted. After all the pain, crawling, hiding, sneaking around, and his nearly broken back, it would all be worth it, once he was outside with his treasure-

co*ck!

“Don’t move asshole. Now turn around slowly, so I can see your face before you die.” The imp’s short-lived celebration came to an end, as he felt the shotgun pressed against the back of his head, as the hellhound’s breath came down his throat. The imp slowly turned towards him, hoping the corgi wouldn’t be so cruel as to kill him right then and there. Once in view, he smiled at the hellhound nervously. Upon seeing the imp’s face, the hound’s cold anger turned into confusion and then irritated frustration as he slapped his hand onto his face. “Beelzebub damn it, Blitzo again?! How many times do I have to tell you-”

Blitzo didn’t let the man finish, his body on full autopilot, as he grabbed the nearest thing he could reach, a small glass bottle filled with a mushy liquid, and threw it at the hound’s face. He managed to land a hit right on the hound’s forehead, causing him to stumble backward, and in midfall accidentally fire his shotgun.

Bang!

The blast just barely avoided Blitzo, but the force of the buckshot hit the shelf with enough impact, to send it tumbling down. On its way, it hit another shelf, which then hit another, and another, and another, until it reached the last isle, which fell onto the nearby window, shattering it to pieces and setting off all kinds of alarms.

Blitzo cursed panicking at the disaster but shook away his worries. It was now or never. Unzipping his backpack, he began shoving in his prize, filling it up with boxes, until the bag was close to bursting at the seams. After which, he zipped it back up, flung the backpack over his shoulder, nearly buckling under its weight, and ran towards the makeshift exit.

“Sorry Bernie, nothing personal!” Blitzo shouted as he leaped through the broken window and into the streets. Behind him, Bernie groaned in misery before slipping into unconsciousness.

Blitzo didn’t stop running, until he was safely outside his apartment, far away from the scene of the crime. Once he was sure he hadn’t been followed and no one had recognized him, he finally stopped outside the door. He didn’t enter immediately though, taking a moment to catch his breath. He had been running for almost five minutes after all, and the now hefty bag was doing nightmares for his already murderous back.

He opened the door and stepped inside, and was welcomed by the loud wailing and screeching coming from the kitchen. The noise filled the imp with an agonized, pained look, as he recognized it in an instant, and knew they had probably been crying for a while now. He soon walked over to the source, to find his precious little Loona, not two months old, underneath a quickly made play-pin crying her little heart out.

Despite being tired, exhausted, and having almost died, Blitzo put on the best smile as he gently picked up the imp-pup, and carefully rocked her. “Ssssh, sssh, it’s okay, it’s okay, Loonie,” he cooed to her softly, his voice managing to stop her cries a bit; turning them into small hiccups, as she gazed at him with tearful yellow eyes. “That’s right, daddy’s here. Oh, baby girl, I am sooo sorry for leaving you alone for so long. But daddy’s here now.” With his other hand, he open up the bag and pulled his prize out. “And he brought the good stuff.”

He was holding a small box, of formula milk. In particular, the one specially made for hybrids like his precious, little hellion. When she woke him up that night, craving a nighttime meal, Blitzo had discovered too late, they were fresh out. In between his exhausting new lifestyle of raising his new daughter and working long, tiring days at Loo Loo Land, the imp had completely forgotten to buy more, leading to him having to break into Bernie’s, the closest shop that sold hybrid formula, that for some unholy reason closed at 9 o’clock. Again.

As the imp quickly got to work mixing up the formula, Blitzo looked at his little child sadly and ashamed. How long had he left Loona on her own, while he was out? How long had she been crying, begging for her father and food, while he nearly lost his life trying to fix his mistake? Why the hell was he even still doing this? He wasn’t a good father. It was because of him, being a f*ck up, that his child had been left hungry and alone. All because he couldn’t do the bare minimum for her. Loona deserved better than him. And he? He didn’t deserve anyone.

His thoughts came to a halt, as the pinging of the microwave indicated the formula was nice and hot. Loona instantly lit up, beginning to yip and bark in delight, as she recognized the sound. Her tail wagged like crazy and she reached out her hands, eager to grab her meal. The display made Blitzo chuckle in delight, his thoughts briefly forgotten, as he took out the bottle, slapping on the nipple, and handed it to his daughter. The babe immediately latched on and began suckling with gusto.

Blitzo didn’t say anything, as he watched his daughter drinking, looking at her with a small smile. He had made her. She was his daughter. His little Loonie. The one bright spot in his life, he thought he would never get again, after so many losses. Even now, watching her drink from the safety of his arms, helped to brighten the imp’s soul and fill him with joy, he hadn’t known in a long time. Even after nearly getting himself killed over some milk. For her. It was worth it.

He patiently waited until Loona had finished, at which point Blitzo placed her over his shoulder and patted the imp-pup on her back, rather roughly. She let out a loud burp and a small bit of spittle, before yawning and falling into sleep in his arms. Blitzo looked at her small sleeping form and smiled. He crept over to his bedroom and gently laid her down into her makeshift crib, made from her old cardboard box, beside her tiny stuffed bunny. He looked down at her fondly for a few seconds, before tucking himself in his bed, and falling into sleep himself.

Not one hour later, Loona was crying again.

Blitzo moaned, as he rose from his bed, once more rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, as he walked over to Loona. “Aaah, alright, Loonie. What is it this ti-”

One sniff, revealed the issue almost instantly, the imp coughing in disgust at the smell coming from the pup’s diaper. The sight caused Loona to laugh at his plight.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up you little stinker. You won’t be so happy, when I bathe you tomorrow,” Blitzo grumbled irritatedly, as he picked her up and put her down on her changing station. “Now, let’s get you nice and fixed up, so I can f*cking finally get some sleep.”

He reached into his diaper bag for a clean replacement…and then continued to reach when he couldn’t find one. After a long bit, he looked inside to find…that it was empty.

Blitzo groaned in exhaustion, before putting Loona down, going to collect his backpack and head out for another raid at Bernie’s. Hopefully, the old guy wouldn’t be too mad at him, once he arrived.

Chapter 4: Young Wolf: First Days of School

Chapter Text

“Dad! Daddaddaddaddaddad! Wake up! Wake up, come on!”

The imp let out a long, pained moan, as he slowly rose from the couch, hissing at the pain of being woken up WAY too early…on a Monday too. “Wah, wasgoinon? f*ck Wally, is that you, yah annoying bastard?”

He heard an annoyed huff, mixed with a whine, and looked up to see his precious little 7-year-old daughter, glaring at him with a frustrated pout. “No, you dummy! Did you forget?! It’s Monday! It’s first day of school day! Now get up, I don't wanna be late!”

That managed to fully wake the imp up, as his eyes widened in remembrance; he quickly jumped out of the couch and tried to brush it off, in a fit of a panicked hurry. “Oh sh*t! I mean, Yeah! Right, school! Of course! I was just testing you! Seeing if you remembered and all that. Great work Loonie!”

The imp-pup didn’t seem to believe him but paid it no mind as she was practically jumping up and down in excitement, her scaly tail with a tuft of fur, wagging dog-like as she smiled. “I can’t believe, I’m finally going to school! I’m gonna make so many friends and learn so many cool things! It’s gonna be so much fun!”

“That’s right, Loonie! It’s gonna be great!” Blitzo said genueiely supportive. Having grown up in a circus, he had never been able to go to school as a child, and thus never had the experience of proper education or the chance to make friends outside of his twin sister and Fizzarolli. He couldn’t deny, part of him wished he could’ve attended as a kid, if only so might’ve had more friends growing up. Like Loona hopefully would.

Plus, with his daughter spending much of the day at school, he didn’t have to worry about taking her to work or having to use up so much money on hiring a babysitter, so that was a plus. “Alright! You remember everything? You got your backpack? Your lunch? Books? Pencils? Your bowie knife?! Can’t forget about ol’ stabby-stabby.”

His daughter let out a small amused laugh. “Yeah, of course! They’re all right here! You helped me pack yesterday remember?” Loona gestured to the straps on over her arms, showing that she had been wearing the backpack all along. The toung hybrid grabbed Blitzo by the arm and started dragging him toward the front door. “Now, come on! We're gonna be late! Let’s go!”

Blitzo struggled to pull his arm free, amused and nervous by his child’s surprising strength while chuckling. “Oookay, there sweetie, calm down we’ve still got…” he looked up the time on his phone, paling to see it wasn’t even seven yet. “…an hour and 23 minutes to spare,” he groaned. The imp brushed off his frustrations, bending down to Loona’s level and giving her a cheery smile, as he gently rubbed her forehead, right on her favorite spot, in between her still-growing imp horns, causing a small round of giggles. “How about you go take a bath, while I get breakfast started huh? Wanna make sure my favorite daughter’s all clean and well-fed before her big day.”

“Oh…okay!” Loona nodded, taking off her backpack and heading to the bathroom. Usually, the little hellraiser would sooner light the building on fire, than place a single one of her hooves in a bathtub. But for her first day of school, she didn’t mind getting a little wet; which her father was more than happy about, as he made his famous, overcooked, burnt-up pancakes. “This’s gonna be the best day ever!”

This was the worst day ever!

When her dad had dropped her off, Loona had been so excited to finally start at school. But bit by bit, her excitement and joy started to fade away and become replaced with disappointment and disillusionment.

It began as quickly as when she arrived. No matter who she talked to or how nice she tried to be, no one wanted to be her friend. All the other kids looked at her like she was some kind of…freak; either backing off in fear, shoving her around like a ragdoll or worst of all, openly making fun of her for how weird she looked. It had left her quite disheartened, to be treated so rotten when she hadn’t done anything. The pushes and shoves were awful. Almost as bad as the whispers behind her back.

‘Look at that freaky hellhound’s back! It’s got spikes sticking out of it!”

It had come from a skinny imp boy, sitting at the far end of the classroom, as he whispered to his classmate, the two sharing a laugh afterward. Even from a good distance away, Loona’s incredible hearing could pick it up, almost as if it came from right behind her.

She looked towards her teacher, a tall imp sitting behind his desk reading a book. “Mr. teacher! One of the other kids is making fun of me!” said Loona, pointing towards the kid in question.

The teacher simply scowled at her from his book. “Young lady, it's rude as sh*t to tell on your classmates. Didn’t your parents teach you proper respect?”

“But-”

“No excuses! Now get back to reading, before I give you detention,” the teacher turned back to his book, ignoring the hybird's sad pleas, while the kids only snickered at their victory. Even the adults treated her like a freak. The teacher had almost kicked her out of the classroom, thinking Loona was some homeless kid until she had barely managed to tell him she belonged in his class. And even after that, he was either ignoring her or constantly trying to get her into trouble. At one point, he snapped at her for sneezing! He was so mean!

So were other teachers, even the principal himself, who had all looked at her like she was a filthy rat, as they passed her by. A few times Loona overheard them talking to each other in disgust, over having an ‘abominable hybrid’ and a 'freakshow dog' at their school. It only made the imp-pup feel like an outcast, who didn't belong.

Returning to her book, Loona tried to block out another cruel whisper from one of the kids. Her tail instinctively wrapped around her legs, as she continued to feel alone even amidst so many.

Loona waited outside for her dad to come back; the sounds of screaming and threats of bloody murder could be heard from Lucifer’s palace. As soon as school was over, Loona had told Blitzo all about her awful day and class. Her dad didn’t take it too well. As soon as he had heard evertyhing, the furious imp went back to the school to confront the teacher and the principal about the awful treatment she had endured.

And Loona didn’t need her enhanced hearing to tell, that her dad was tearing them apart. She could hear him threatening to burn their school and do absolutely horrific things to their bodies, in front of everyone for what they had allowed to happen. Things that might’ve horrified the young hybrid, had she not lived with her dad all her life. Honestly, she was more amazed that her teacher and principal had managed to stay so calm and under control during the whole thing.

Finally, after a long, very graphic series of threats, Blitzo walked out of the school, sending it one last murderous glare, before turning back to Loona in a worried rush, wrapping her in a hug as soon as she was close. “Oh, sweetie! Loonie, I am so sorry, you had to go through all that! I swear as soon as I find the brats who said those things to you, I’ll-”

Loona eagerly returned the hug, in need of some comfort after the long awful day. “Dad, can we just go home? Today’s been sh*t.” Her defeated plea, damn near broke her father's heart on the spot. But despite his grief, Blitzo nodded and escorted her back to their car. As the hybrid sat down next to the imp, she turned toward her dad. “Do you think, the teachers will make sure tomorrow’s better? That the other kids are gonna stop being jerks to me now?”

“Oh, they’d better if those assholes know what's good for them…” Blitzo growled darkly before turning towards Loona. “Don’t worry Loonie, I had a pretty stern talking-to with those old f*cks, and I think I got through to them. Things should get better soon.”

Things did not get better. If anything, they got worse.

Loona's teacher had not appreciated being threatened by Blitzo and had singled her out after class. He made it quite clear if she ever said those things to her father again, he would do whatever he could to make the rest of the school year the worst time of her life. It had scared the young hybrid enough, to keep quiet about it to her dad for days. Her teacher’s already low opinion of the imp-pup had reached below ground level, and he took any opportunity, however minor it was to inconvenience or belittle her as much as possible.

Another thing that didn’t change were her classmates, who continued to talk sh*t about her all the time. Eventually, as time went on, they started getting bolder, pulling her ears, stepping on her tail, tripping her, pelting her with spitballs, even in front of the teacher, who still refused to do anything about the bullying. When she asked why they were treating her like this, they just laughed and called her a hybrid and a weirdo, who shouldn't be here. It made Loona feel even more alone than she already was.

But the worst of it all was recess. When all the kids from all the classes gathered outside and play, not a soul wanted anything to do with Loona. Worse, some of them would even start to pick on her, pelting her with rocks and 'accidentally' shoving her to the ground. This eventually led to a faithful Friday, when the young imp-pup had been practically thrown to the ground by Spike, her biggest playground bully. She had landed belly first, mud and grime covering her clothes, her knee scrapped from the tumble, as he and his sidekicks laughed.

Days of getting picked on, laughed at and treated like sh*t, finally caused something to snap. Loona let out a low growl and hiss, the spikes on her back and tail tensing up, her eyes glowing yellow and narrowing, claws scrapping through the earth as she turned towards them with bared teeth. Before they could react, Loona had pounced at Spike, beginning to tear and bite into her bully, while the other kids watched in horror and started screaming. Loona didn’t know how long she had been at it, but by the time the grown-ups had managed to pull her up, Spike was quivering, his tiny body now covered in cuts and bruises. She was pretty sure one of his horns had come off.

As horrific as it looked, the imp-pup couldn’t deny it had felt very damn satisfying.

Loona had left the school that day with an expulsion notice in her hands. Apparently one fight, after a week of abuse and mistreatment, was all they needed to call her an animal and a lost cause and deem her unfit for their school. Loona wanted to feel happy about it. After all, now she didn’t have to go to that awful place, that treated her like sh*t all the time. But a part of her still hated, that it just proved how little they had cared about her; and how willing they were to get rid of her. All because she was a disgusting hybrid.

The only one who felt worse about it was Blitzo, the imp fuming at this and what Loona had been through all this time. Looking at his daughter’s ruined clothing and bruised form, he couldn’t help but blame himself for letting it get to this point. He was Loona’s dad. He should’ve known better damn it! Instead her had let her down and caused his loved one nothing but suffering. Again. All he could do now was try to cheer her up. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay Loonie. Those dicks were too lame to understand how badass you were. But don’t worry, it’s the weekend! We’re gonna spend all day tomorrow, just hanging out and doing daddy/daughter stuff. And when we’re done, we can start looking for a new school for you. A better one, than that piece of sh*t.” He looked at her with a comforting smile, which Loona struggled to return. “Don’t worry, everything's gonna be better from here.”

The next school wasn’t much better.

It had seemed like a good school at first, from what Blitzo had heard from other parents, with a low bullying and teacher abuse record, and it heavily advertised itself as being friendly to any and all hellborn. But it soon became evident that was only for imps and other regular kids.

Hybrids on the other hand? As soon as Loona entered her new classroom, almost all of her fellow students and even the teacher looked at her with visible disgust and confusion. That alone made the young child lose all her hope, right on the spot.

Soon after, the bullying continued as if she hadn’t left her old school. Though this time, Loona tried not to fight back against the kids, having already gone through enough trouble the last time she did. Instead, she tried telling all the other adults about what she was going through, hoping at least one of them would help her.

Instead, they decided to punish her with detention and warnings, rather than the kids who picked on her, claiming she was trying to discredit innocent students or something bogus. They didn’t care about the obvious bruises on her person or the kids openly mocking her behind her back. To them she was just a filthy, abominable hybrid, and that was enough reason to treat her like trash.

And much like her old school, Loona didn’t last long, before being expelled. This time, she kicked a succubi teacher in leg, after she dismissed her once more. It hadn’t even been that rough of a kick, only causing them to stumble. But it was all they needed to throw her out, leaving her and a disgusted Blitzo to find another school willing to take her.

In a turn of events, Loona didn't get expelled from her third school. No, Blitzo had pulled her out immediately, after her third day. Apparently, upon getting a hybrid as one of her students, the teacher decided to give the class a lesson on how lowerclass hellborn were once treated in the early days of Hell; selecting a small group of students to act as slaves, having their arms and legs wrapped together in duct tape and while the rest of the class played the role of slave masters who could hurt and mistreat their captives however they liked. And Loona naturally was among them, and received the brunt of the abuse, being stepped on, tossed around, and hit by every kid there and even the teacher at one point.

Upon learning this, Blitzo did Hell a favor and blew the teacher's brains out, right upon seeing her.

But it had been too late. He turned to look at Loona in the backseat, the poor, tried, beaten up child curled up and bruised, sobbing loudly with tears dropping from her eyes, and nearly broke down himself. DAMN IT! He had f*cked up again! This was the third time, he had let this happen! Putting his daughter through all that pain and torment, because he wasn't smart enough to know better! Couldn't he do one thing right?! Not even for his own child?!

The imp turned back to the road, as he thought of what to do next. It was obvious now, the schools in Greed were all pieces of sh*t! It was time to get a backup plan going. Maybe they should try expanding out to the other rings. It would be costly and time-consuming as f*ck having to afford and balance so many travels between rings, but it would be worth it if Loona could have a good school.

Wrath was immediately off the table. If the imps of his main ring were already dicks, he didn’t want to know what they were like in their native home. Perhaps Gluttony? They didn’t have many schools, but it had to be worth a try right? Maybe the hellhounds would treat her better than the imps.

“Big brother, why’s that hellhound got a lizard’s tail?”

“That ain’t a hellhound sis,” the young terrier answered, pulling his sibling away from Loona, shooting her a massive stink-eye. “She’s a stinking hybrid! That’s why she’s got those freaky horns and hooves for feet. You stay away from her, you hear?”

The two hounds ran away, leaving Loona alone as she sat on her bench. Despite her and her father’s hopes that Gluttony might be kinder to her, it wasn’t to be. Sure, there were a few hellhounds who treated her okay, but even then, they mostly just avoided her or approached her with caution, seemingly having no clue what to make of her. Everyone else though? They treated her like dirt. If anything, they seemed to be worse than the imps. While only a few imps were brave enough to try and hurt her, beyond a few shoves, almost every one of the hounds had no issue picking fights with the young imp-pup. f*ck, they were practically trying to fight her, to prove they were the strongest in the playground. And unlike the imps whom Loona usually had no trouble fighting, the hellhounds were much tougher and stronger, giving her a much harder time standing up to them.

Speaking of which, from the corner of her eyes Loona saw some of her regular bullies heading in her direction with bats and pieces of wood with nails, cruel smiles on their faces, as were looking for another fight. She immediately bolted to the far end of the playground, before they caught sight of her. Just one more day, and she could move to another school. One in Pride, the biggest ring of Hell, were the more succseful and intelligent hellborn recided. That had to be a good sign, right?

Blitzo left the school grounds, crumbling the notice of expulsion until it was a small ball of paper, which he threw onto the streets, his daughter slowly and somberly following him into the car.

He received a call from the principal about three hours into his shift. Something about Loona getting into a fight with another kid. He claimed that she had suddenly attacked her innocent classmate, completely unprovoked and had left the poor child with scars and injuries that would stay with him all his life. When he arrived, he could see Loona outside shivering in the cold, a collar and rope tied around her neck that chained her to a pole.

Blitzo made sure to give the principal a bullet through the gut for that. He didn’t waste a second more getting Loona out of there.

“So, you wanna tell me what happened?” asked Blitzo to his daughter as they drove home. “You know, the real story. Not the bullsh*t, your asshole teachers tried to feed me back there?”

Loona didn’t answer at first, still shaken by what had happened. Blitzo let it drop for a bit before she finally answered in a miserable, pained, exhausted whisper. “…he said…that my mom must’ve been some whor*, to sleep with you.…that…I was an abomination and…that my dad wished I was dead.”

“I see…” said Blitzo emotionless, a cold frown starting to emerge upon his face. He reached for his flintlock with murder in his eyes. “You wouldn’t happen to know where he lives do you?”

Lust had not been any better, with one of the teachers flat out telling Loona at one point, the only career she could ever hope of landing would be as a prostitute. And by the time they had reached Envy, Blitzo was at his wit’s end.

They had been through at least 8 schools by now, and each one proved to be no different from the last. Racist teachers, asshole kids, careless atmosphere; nothing but a series of sh*tholes that treated his precious, innocent daughter as less than spit. He wanted to be surprised. To be shocked and disgusted that this was happening. But after many years he couldn’t be. Hell was a racist place filled with racist pricks. Even some imps treated each other with disdain. Why would hybrids be any different?

But no matter how badly he felt about everything, he knew it was nothing compared to what his daughter was going through. It had been about a month since her first school day, and even after all this time, things hadn’t approved. The first time Loona had been expelled, she had been devastated, locking herself in her room for the rest of the day, until she had cried herself to sleep. With the second one, it had been mostly the same, except eventually, the sadness turned to fury as the imp-pup threw a raging fit in her room for hours.

And with each expulsion or failed attempt, her mood worsened, even outside of school. He could see her becoming not just sadder but angrier, colder, and more bitter, lashing out more quickly, disobeying orders, acting out, and at points even picking fights herself. A far cry from how she usually was.

Blitzo looked at her sadly, as Loona stared out the window with a sad, angry growl. He couldn’t keep doing this. He didn’t want to see her like that anymore. He was hurting his daughter. If this kept on, who knew what would happen? Damn it, he should've done something sooner! Instead, he had kept going, forcing his daughter into more awful schools, giving her false hope that would always fall apart, putting her through beatings, abuse and torture again and again! f*ck! He was no better than his own dad!

No more. He had to fix this. One more school. Just one last school in Sloth and if it turned out to be another sh*tshow, a likely possibility given the track record…then it was time to move on his backup plan. Good thing remembered to get everything ahead of time…

It had been over a month since Loona's first school day; and after days of jumping through different schools, throughout every ring, the pair came home in a dour mood, having just returned from Sloth. Loona headed straight to her room in a tearful fury, throwing her backpack across the apartment, nearly causing a dent in the wall and slamming her door shut.

Blitzo saw the display and let out a tired sigh. Taking a look at his crumbled-up notice of expulsion, he tossed it into the bin before going straight to the fridge. He grabbed himself a cold bottle of Beezlejuice and a can of alcohol-free soda for Loona. He didn’t go immediately to comfort his daughter, knowing she’d like a moment to herself to cool down. Instead, he waited outside for a few minutes, finishing his beer and going over to the closet, getting out a stool to reach the top, where he had kept his backup plan; enough was enough. Things were obviously not going to improve, so it was time to switch gears. From the closet he pulled out a large, stuffed garbage, which he struggled to carry over towards his Loona's room.

After a 10 minute wait, he carefully knocked on the outside door of his daughter’s bedroom. She didn’t answer. Slowly, Blitzo opened the door and stepped inside. His heart threatened to burst, as he saw his daughter curled up under her blanket, small sobs coming underneath; her tiny tuff of fur on her imp tail, being the only visible part of her body. Around her were pillows and plushies thrown around, some even torn up, a chair knocked over and clothes littering the floor.

He carefully walked over to her bed, sitting down once he was close enough; dropping the sack onto the floor. Loona didn’t react or respond to his presence. “Loonie? You okay sweetie?” Her sobs died down a bit, and she moved a little under her blanket, but otherwise, the imp-pup didn’t respond. After a beat, Blitzo held out the soda can, right where he knew her arms would be, and shook it a bit. “I brought soda. If you don’t get it before it gets warm, I’m gonna have to throw it in the garbage-”

In a flash, a small hand reach reached out from the blanket, grabbed the can, and went back inside before the imp could react. From inside he could hear the hiss of the soda can opening, as his daughter took a few sips from the beverage. It brought out a small smile from him, as he continued to sit beside her.

A short while later, Loona crawled out from her blanket, brushing away the few remaining tears in her eyes. She was no longer crying, only whimpering and snorting as she leaned against her father, Blitzo more than happy to comfort her.

“Dad?”

”Yeah, Loonie?”

“I f*cking hate school,” said Loona with a sad, tired growl as she balled her hands into fits and buried herself deeper into the imp's side.

Blitzo frowned, as he watched her in pain, placing a comforting hand on her waist. ”Yeah, me too…” The two sat there for a while, the hellpup taking a sip from her soda can. The pair of them didn't say a word after that, simply sitting on the bed enjoying the quiet of each other's company. Eventually Blitzo broke the silence, giving his daughter a determined look. “But who needs it right? Half the stuff they teach you there’s not gonna be worth a damn when you eventually grow up anyway. Besides, you’re already a f*cking super genius already, aren’t you, my little badass? Come’ere.”

Loona’s whines turned into sudden fits of giggles and laughter, as she felt her fathers’ fingers bury into her armpits and start tickling her into a frenzy. “Da-daaaahehehe, st-st-stop iiiit! Hahaha, I’m-I’m trying to beheheheh saaahahahad.” The small hybrid dropped her empty can, as she tried to fight back. After a bit of a struggle, the imp-pup managed to break free of her father’s hold, wiping away her laughter-induced tears while Blitzo just looked at her all pleased and mischievously.

The imp patted his daughter on the back. With her cheered up, he could reveal his new master plan. “You don’t need some dumb school or teacher to grow up and get smart! I’ve got all the learning you’ll ever need right here!” He pulled out his back up, in the form of the sack, and dumped its contents on the floor. Out poured a small pool of films and shows, all with kiddy, fluffy, and educational-sounding names like: ‘The ABCs of murder’, ‘Mephistopheles’ mathematics and tax fraud hour’ and ‘Sing along and learn a lot with Mothy the Behemoth.’

”Holy sh*t! D-dad, where’d you get all these movies? And-” she picked up an odd object among the DVDs. A small, plastic, rectangular object, with a label beside two small pieces of glass, one of which contained a large roll of film. “-what in Hell is this supposed to be? Looks ancient.”

Blitzo took the tape from her hand with a fond smile. “This, my little smart cookie, is how your old man learned everything he needed to get by in life. No more school for you. Just put in one of these tapes for a few hours, and you’ll learn everything you’d get from school and more!”

Loona’s eyes lit up in excitement at the announcement. “Really? I-I-I don’t have to go back?”

“Nope! No more rotten teachers, piece of sh*t bullies, or f*cked up punishments, just fun learning with some wholesome edutainment,” confirmed Blitzo eagerly. “And the occasional test to make sure you’ve learned stuff, and are actually watching the tapes while I’m away, and not just goofing off.”

The imp-pup smiled brightly, relieved at the news, enveloping her father in a tight hug, which caught Blitzo off guard for a moment. It didn't take him long to tearfully smile and returned the gesture. While he was still a bit disappointed, that his daughter couldn’t attend school and get the education she deserved, he was fine with it as he continued to embrace her. It had been the first time he had seen his daughter genuinely happy since the whole school debacle started. And it brought him no end of relief. He had done it. He had finally done something good for his daughter. “Awww, there-there Loonie-Toonie. It’s all good. Now, come on, I gotta get dinner going and you could use a quick wash up. Get the last of that nasty salt out of your eyes. We can figure out the watchlist while we eat. Sound good?”

The two of them walked out of the room together, as he prepared their meal. And for the first time in a long while, Loona was starting to look forward to learning again.

Chapter 5: Young Wolf: A New Friend in Loo Loo Land

Chapter Text

The weekend. A time for relaxation and fun. When grown-ups and kids could be free from their usual daily burdens, unwind and enjoy a peaceful day off or two, doing whatever fun activities they wanted, without judgment or worry.

That is…unless you were one of the few unlucky bastards forced to work on weekends. Like Blitzo. Who’s worked at Loo Loo Land, where at any moment his money-hungry boss could call him up to work an extra day or two, to save on having to hire a second guy to run the balloons.

Every day, the imp wondered why he was still working here.

“Daaad, can we go already? This tent smells and all the asshole kids are staring at me,” asked a young but gruff voice next to his cart. It was the answer to his question. Loona looked up at him with an annoyed frown, clearly uncomfortable and bored. Due to the last-minute call to work, Blitzo didn’t have time to get her regular babysitter, so the imp-pup had to join him for the day. She had lost since grown too old for the care center, meaning she had to stay by his side, away from the rides and games.

The imp grumbled in response but tried not to look too annoyed at his daughter. “Loonie, trust me, nothing would make me happier than getting away from that breaking-down, doppelganger, metal blow-up doll,” he scowled towards the Robo-Fizz dancing and juggling at the center of the stage, while all the kids laughed and clapped at his antics; Blitzo could swear at one point the robot turned to him with a sly, knowing smirk that nearly made him explode in rage. “Unfortunately, we gotta eat and pay rent, so here we are for the next 3 hours.”

Loona pouted frustrated at the refusal. “Well, can I at least go check out some of the rides and games? If I’m gonna be stuck in this sh*thole for the whole day, I wanna at least have some fun!”

“Are you kidding me? If I let you waste my hard-earned money on these rigged, rip-off carney games, we’ll probably lose the apartment within a week,” denied Blitzo harshly, knowing his wallet was already weeping for mercy, after their latest grocery shopping. “Besides, there’s no way, I’m letting you out there alone. Some f*cking pedophile or psycho game hunter’s bound to snoop up any kid unattended. Sorry young lady, but you’re staying putt.”

Loona let out a loud, annoying moan at her dad’s orders, kicking a nearby bottle for good measure. “Fine! Whatever! I’m gonna get some popcorn from one of those dumb-as-bricks kids!” She stormed off before her dad could stop her, disappearing into the crowd.

She grumbled to herself, as walked by the row of kids chortleling their brains off. “Stupid kids! Stupid dad! Stupid Loo Loo Land! Stupid Robo-Clown! Stupid crying owl girl! Stupid.…wait.”

Sitting there, on the other end of the stands, amongst a pair of imp kids and their fat parents, was a small owl-looking child, no more than years older than her. And judging from her cries of fear and the fact she was all curled up into a ball, she seemed to be the only one in the room not having fun. Well, aside from herself and her dad.

On a whim Loona couldn’t explain, she went over to the small child, pushing past the other kids as she did. Once she was next to the crying child, she stood there awkwardly for a bit and then gently poked at her shoulder asking: “Hey. You oh…you okay there?”

The crying child let out a few bird-like tweets, before her head poked out, bright pink eyes with welled-up tears looking at Loona nervously. She snorted a few times before she murmured: “Sca-sca-sca-sca…scary clown!” Then before she could respond, the small owl immediately latched onto Loona, wrapping her in a big hug as she started crying all over again. All the while the half-imp/half-hound just stood there not knowing what to do.

Eventually, Loona did her best to return the hug, patting the owl on the back as she glared at the Robo-Fizz. “Yeah, that clown’s a real creepy f*cker. No idea, how anyone likes that thing,”

“I-I-I-I hate that clown!” The owlet cried out again.

“Uh, there, there. No need to cry and junk,” Loona said lamely as the owl continued to hold on tightly to her. The Imp-Pup struggled to push her off, but the small tyke had a surprisingly strong grip. And she was unexpectedly cuddly, with all her soft feathers and small frame. Thankfully, she was also just as light as one of said feathers, allowing Loona to pick the child up and carry her away from the crowds and the terrifying clown. After an uncomfortable pause, trying to figure out how to calm her down, she asked the frightened child: “Eh, hey how about a balloon? On the house! Would that make you forget about the creepy clown guy for a bit?”

The owlet sniffed and hiccuped a few times, before nodding quietly. “O-okay.”

Loona sighed in relief at this, as she began carrying her away from the show, heading towards her father’s balloon stand, where the imp was chewing on a cigarette he was struggling to light, tiredly grumbling as he did. “Hey, dad!” Upon hearing his daughter calling out to him, Blitzo quickly threw away his smoke and turned towards Loona, quite surprised to find her carrying a small child. And an unusual looking one at that. “Can you please make this kid a balloon animal, so she can stop being so sad on me? I kinda promised her one, and all this crying is making me feel weird.”

The imp was taken aback by this request from his daughter but still frowned sternly at them. “Loonie, I love you, but no!” His refusal caused the tiny owl girl to deflate, and his daughter to glare at him in annoyance, much to Blitzo’s frustration. “Oh come on, don’t give me that look. You know if I keep handing out free stuff, that comes out of my paycheck. The paycheck we need to put food on the table! And f*ck knows, those checks are tiny enough as it is.”

The hybrid rolled her eyes and held her ground. “Dad, don’t be a greedy bitch! We can spare one stupid dollar for this kid, right? I mean come on, look at her.” She indicated the young child, who looked at him with such big hopeful pink eyes.

‘As if it was only one dollar,’ Blitzo muttered under his breath; nothing in Loo Loo Land had a price that wasn’t in the double digits. Still, he knew trying to fight Loona was too much effort than it was worth, and…sh*t those eyes were pretty. So, the imp let out a loud sigh. “Fiiiine. Just one and that’s it. Alright?” He looked at the owlet annoyed. “So, what do you want?”

The little thing shifted uncomfortably for a moment then said: “A…a balloon horsie, would be nice…”

A balloon horse eh? The request managed a small smile out of the imp. It had been a while since he made one of those; and if nothing else at least the girl had good taste. The imp cracked his knuckles and pulled out a blue balloon. “No problemo kid, one super badass horse coming up!” He blew it up and with great pride quickly began to twist and form it into…an odd mishmash of shapes…that then popped, a few seconds later. Loona looked at him unimpressed, while Blitzo blinked. With a nervous chuckle, Blitzo began pulling out another balloon. “Just playing a little joke on you kid, hehesh*t, your horsie’s coming up right away!”

He blew up the balloon and twisted it again. Until it resembled… an even more misshapen thing that popped soon after. Loona could help but let a small giggle out at his failure, which the owlet soon copied. Blitzo just grumbled: “Oh haha, how nice of you to make fun of the clown. Ungrateful brats.” He tried again with another balloon, which also popped much to his frustrations.

“f*ck…sh*t…f*cksh*t…sh*tf*ck…f*cksh*tf*ck…OH COME ON!… ARE YOU sh*tTING ME?…how is this still happening?”

This continued for a while, with the girls being quite amused at the display, which only made the imp pissier before it seemed the imp had finally managed to make something, that wasn’t going to pop. He beamed up with joy. “Alright kid, you said you wanted a horse? Well, here ya go!” He turned towards the young owl girl and Loona, and showed them his masterpiece, with pride.

“Uh, dad? Where are its legs?”

It was only then, that Blitzo realized he hadn’t created a horse. But rather his infamous, legless worm horse from years ago. The imp blinked at this and then exclaimed: “OH COME f*ckNIG ON! How does this keep happening?!” He prepared to throw the worthless thing away when he noticed a small, innocent laugh from the owlet. But it wasn’t for him, but rather his failed balloon.

“It looks really cute! Can I have it? Please? It looks way better than a horse,” she started reaching out for it with an eager smile, her tiny arms stretched out excitedly.

Bltizo blinked at the request. Usually, whenever the imp made one of his worm horses, all he got was cries, complaints, or mockery from the kids. He was a little unused to someone actually wanting the thing; he couldn’t deny it though, it felt pretty good. He handed it over to the child with a large smile. “Heh, good to know someone here appreciates my fine art! All yours kiddo!”

The child accepted it with a wide grin and a delighted chirp. She hugged the animal lovingly before turning to the imp. “I love it! Oh, thank you, so much for this!”

“Yeah, no worries kid, now-” Blitzo was interrupted, by the owlet then wrapping her tiny arms around the imp’s leg, cuddling against them, much to the imp’s uncomfortableness. And Loona’s amusem*nt. The imp stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to respond, before finally pulling the owlet off, with a slightly irritated frown. “Okay, that’s enough cuddles yeah? Come on kid, how’s about you head back to your folks over there.”

He gestured back towards the show, trying not to look the robotic clown in the eye as he did. “Oh, mommy and daddy aren’t there,” the owlet said innocently.

“Huh?!” Both Blitzo and Loona looked at the owlet, shocked by that. “Wah-wait, your parents left you here?” asked the hybrid with an angry growl.

The owl child just nodded, as she chirped up. “Daddy said he and mommy had to talk for a bit, so they left me here to watch the show until they were done.” Her smile then turned into a sad frown, as she looked at her worm horse and sighed: “They do this a lot whenever we go to Loo Loo Land, but…I don’t really like it here. The other kids are loud and that clown is really scary. I keep telling daddy, but he never listens…”

Questionable parenting aside, the imp-pup could certainly relate to the child’s dislike of the other kids and the show. She had caught some of the shows a few times while waiting for her dad to finish work, and from what she saw, it freaked her out to no end. “Yeah, this place f*cking blows,” she commented bluntly, which got a startled gasp from the child.

“You can’t say that! My daddy said children shouldn’t ever say bad words!” the chick cried out in shock at her language. Which got her a hearty laugh from Blitzo, and even a small snicker from Loona.

“Aw come on kid, it’s Hell! They practically teach kids to swear as soon as they turn 3,” the imp dismissed with an amused smile.

Loona was about to agree with her father when a sudden idea flashed in her head. She remembered how the owlet mentioned not liking this place, just like she didn’t. And then what her dad had said earlier. An eager, mischievous smile formed as the imp-pup turned to the child and asked: “H-hey, wanna go play in the park together?”

The owlet blinked as she turned to the question, co*cking her head confused: “What? What do you mean?”

“I mean, let’s ditch this place, and have some real fun in the rest of the park!” Loona clarified with an excited grin. Upon explaining the young child, seemed to be quite taken with the idea by the way her eyes began lighting up.

“Oh no, you f*cking don’t!” Blitzo stepped in before the owlet could respond, looking at the kids with a stern look. “Already told yah Loonie, you ain’t going away without me.”

The hybrid pup just returned the glare with a smug smile as she waved her finger. “No, you said I couldn’t go out alone. Buuuut-” She then grabbed the young child’s shoulder and pulled her close. “-if I go with…what was your name again?”

“Oh, my name is Octavia!” Answered the owlet delighted. “Daddy calls me Via.”

“Right. If I go with Via, I won’t be alone anymore!” Loona explained expertly, before turning back to her father in excitement.

“Still a fat stinking no!” Blitzo crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at his daughter. “I meant with an adult! Not with a child! Besides, it’s not like you can do much without money and I already told you, I’m not lending you sh*t.”

“Oh don’t worry, I have moneys,” Octavia reached into her pocket, and pulled out a small bundle of $ouls. “My daddy gives me a small bit, in case of emergencies!”

Small, was an understatement. In her hand was a thick stack of bills; each one was worth close to 100. Both Loona and Blitzo’s jaws dropped and being stunned speechless at the amount. Blitzo was the first to recover. “Holy sh*t…wait, you mean to tell me, I gave you a free balloon when you had THAT on you this whole time?!” He asked, understandably annoyed.

Loona shook her head and stepped in before Via could respond. “That’s perfect! See, Via can pay for everything and I can have her with me, so I won’t be alone! And we can finally do something fun together! Away from this stupid place.”

“I wanna have fun,” Via happily chirped in, joining the hybrid in the pleading.

Blitzo began to sigh. “For f*ck sake’s Loona-” he couldn’t say anything more, as Loona decided to use her secret weapon. Her big please face.

“Can, we dad? Pleeaaaaaase?” Loona looked at him with her hands together, her eyes growing big and brighter, while her tail wagged and she gave him the sweetest smile she could muster. Via even joined in, doing her best to mimic the imp-pup.

And just like that he was potty in her hands. All it took was a few seconds of weak fighting before Blitzo finally folded with a groan: “…fine.”

“YES!” Loona cheered, as did Octavia, hugging her dad’s legs as her tail wagged eagerly. “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” With that, she grabbed Via’s hand and the two giggling girls began running out of the tent.

“But, you’re doing the dishes for the next two weeks! And you and she better be in one peace, by the time day’s done, or it’s gonna be three weeks missy!” shouted Blitzo, before the girls could leave his sight.

“Sure thing,” said Loona only half paying attention, as she turned to Octavia. “Hey, I’m Loona by the way. Nice to meet you.”

“It’s ever so nice to meet you too, Loona,” The young owlet responded excitedly. “So, what are we going to do first?”

“Oh, I know this one really cool ride, I haven’t been on for a while. Come on!”

Blitzo watched the two girls running off into the park, holding hands and laughing as they headed towards one of the many amusem*nt rides. Part of him was worried if they were really all that safe on their own, but he was also just happy to see how well his Loonie was getting along with the owl kid. She had never made any friends until now. And from the looks of things the owlet didn’t seem to care about his daughter’s hybrid status. She just seemed to enjoy her company; as did Loona. It was a nice change of pace, to be honest.

But, now with them gone, that left Blitzo all alone by his stand…with no kids wanting any of his balloons…and that freakish, robotic visage of his old friend still taunting him with hellish delight.

“That’s it. f*ck this place. I’m giving’em my two weeks’ notice,” announced Blitzo with a tired shrug, walking from his balloon stand, fishing another cigarette from his pocket, having finally had enough of the place; he just hoped the girls were at least having fun.

Prince Stolas sighed tiredly after another loud, one-sided screaming fight with his wife, currently waiting back at their car. Stella made it no secret how much she despised coming to this place, having to ‘mingle around the f*cking revolting commonfolk and being seen by the stinking lower class, all so that their daughter could be distracted for a day.’ And as Stella did with a great many things, she took it out on him, much to her cruel delight.

The exhausted prince knew he was going to need a few Happy Pills once he got back home. Along with something strong. But for now, he could at least collect Octavia from the FizzaRolli ‘n Friends show and enjoy some nice moments together, before they had to depart for home. And that would surely raise his spirits a bit. The show should be ending any moment now.

The owl prince awaited outside the tent, watching the other kids depart with their parents, with happy and tearfully joyous looks…but he couldn’t find Octavia amongst them. Even after the last child had left and the next wave of kids started entering, there was no sign nor feather of his daughter anywhere. And when he checked, he couldn’t find her in the tent either.

The prince was growing increasingly worried, as his daughter seemed to have mysteriously vanished. In a flash he cornered one of the departing parents, grabbing them by their arm and asking: “Uh, excuse me little imp! I apologize for the intrusion, but you wouldn’t have seen my daughter Octavia have you? She’s should be about your son’s age, pink eyes, black feather with a white face, in a pink and red gown?”

“Eh, sorry sir, haven’t seen her. Must’ve gotten kidnapped or something,” answered the grown-up apathetically before moving on, not noticing that the prince looked moments away from having a heart attack as he left.

The prince clutched his hat nervously and began to panic, as the very likely possibility started playing over his head! Stolas began cursing himself, unable to believe he was so stupid. The one time he had left Octavia alone without any bodyguards and now she was gone! Possibly in danger! Oh, what was he going to do?! He slapped himself across the face. Now was not the time to let himself become consumed by worry. He had to find his daughter before it was too late. He just prayed, wherever she was, Octavia was safe.

“Uh, Loona? I don’t think I’m old enough to ride this…” Octavia said as her terror grew, gripping the edges of the seat tightly as they neared the peak of the rollercoaster; they were reaching a terrifying height and only getting higher.

“That’s what’s gonna make it fun!” argued Loona beside the young child, looking hyped up for the oncoming drop. “Just hold on tight and it’ll be over before you know it. And if you feel sick, puke on the guys behind us.”

Octavia had just enough time to let out a small, confused: “Wha-?” before she and Loona plummeted down the Lawsuit, the owlet crying for her life while beside her the imp-pup cheered out in excitement.

“OCTAVIA?! OCTAVIA!!! DARLING, CAN YOU HEAR ME?! IT’S DADDY!!! OCTAVIA!!!” Stolas called out, as he ran throughout the amusem*nt park, calling out her name as he searched the grounds for his still missing daughter. The prince was beginning to hyperventilate, as he was still not having any luck in finding her. Should he perhaps tell Stella? Get some more help? No. That would only lead to another argument, and he had already had enough of that for one day. He could do this on his own. His daughter had to be somewhere around here. Surely. But how was he supposed to find her in a place so big?! Octavia could’ve been anywhere by now. Possibly even outside the park! Oh, heaven knows what unknown horrors she was being subjected to!

“See? This is better right? No falling, no extreme twists, just a nice quiet, little ride on a horse,” Loona asked Via with fake enthusiasm, as the two rode the slow-moving horses on a carousel, located on the other end of the park, from where Stolas was at. The Lawsuit had left the owlet quite shaken, so to make it up to her, Loona decided to let her pick the next ride. The imp-pup had only wished it wasn’t something as monotonous as a carousel.

Via nodded vigorously, clutching onto her hell horse tightly, even if it moved barely any slower than a snail. “No more fast rides okay? I don’t like them anymore.”

“Fine, no more fast rides,” the imp-pup agreed with a pout, a little annoyed that her fun had been slightly ruined by the owlet’s fear. But, it was still better than that freaky clown tent. And maybe she could talk her into some more exciting rides later. And at least Octavia seemed to have fun, when she eventually calmed down, giggling happily and weeing in delight as she rode her mechanical horse.

“You sure like horses huh?” asked Loona with an amused smirk. Via smiled back in response. “Me too. Though, nowhere as much as my dad. You should see his collection back home. That dork has a closet filled with them little dolls.”

“Ooooh, you mean those cute horsies? Daddy gave me some on my birthday!” Via chirped excitedly. “Does he have the taxidermy one? That’s my favorite!”

“Y-yeah, actually,” the hybrid confirmed a bit weirded out by the owlette’s favorite. That one had always creeped her out. Thank Satan, they only made 50 of them. “I prefer the black one with the wolf ears myself. So badass.” From there the two spent most of the ride talking about their horse dolls, which eventually evolved into them talking about other topics, even well after the ride had ended.

“And do you remember where you last saw your daughter sir?” asked the monotone, middle-aged, hellhound security worker, who looked very bored and uninterested in the current crisis going on.

Stolas nearly pulled the feathers out from his head in irritation, having already explained the situation about three times now. “YES! Yes, for the last time, I left Octavia at the Fizzarolli show in the big tent at the center of the park! I left her there for no less than 30 minutes to talk with my wife, and when I returned she was gone! Now, will you please help me find her or not?”

“Mmhmm,” grumbled the worker, as they lazily wrote down the prince’s account. “Is there any place you think she might go to if she were lost?”

Stolas began stuttering, as he struggled to think of such a place. “I-I-I don’t know! This has never happened before!” he eventually exclaimed. “Via would never leave old Fizzy’s show, that’s her favorite spot! She always follows my directions no matter what. Well, until now where she’s suddenly disappeared, and I have no idea where she might be-”

“Well, sounds like she’s been kidnapped,” shrugged the security worker.

His blunt statement nearly gave Stolas a heart attack. “W-what? N-now, now, let’s not be too hasty right?” the prince pleaded desperately. “I’m sure she’s still around here somewhere. Surely you can sniff her out with that nose of yours or call your other friends, and man a search party or-”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure she’s missing. Happens all time around here,” Insisted the hellhound, utterly apathetic to the prince’s plight, even as he stood there stone still in horror at the very real possibility of his daughter being gone. Stolas began hyperventilating, clutching his novelty hat for support as his panic grew by the second; all the while the hellhound looked at him completely uninterested. “Sorry for your loss. Please, remember that we here at Loo Loo Land, are not responsible for the loss, death, kidnapping, rape, diabetes caused, or ruined birthdays of your children. If you’d like to lodge a complaint-”

One petrified hellhound later, Stolas was now rushing through the park, his search for Vi growing more desperate as he prayed that his daughter was still okay.

“Hmm, this stuff’s delicious!” said Loona as she and her friend ate lunch. Though honestly, it looked more like dessert than lunch. The hybrid was helping herself to an unhealthily large amount of junk food, having just finished a very greasy, condiment-covered hotdog, and was now treating herself to a large scoop of ice cream. She turned to her friend, her lips covered in filthy food scraps. “You sure you don’t want anything more than that?”

Octavia cringed slightly at her friends’ gross face, having helped herself to a small juice and a candied apple. “No thank you. I’m not allowed to eat too much of the fatting foods here.”

The imp-hound just psshed dismissively, some of her stains landing onto Octavia’s dress, much to the owlet’s shock. “Relax, not like your parents are here to tell you what to do. Come on, live a little! Here,” Loona handed Via a big, greasy drumstick of some kind of animal, some thoroughly deep-fried churros, along with a large slice of pumpkin pie, a thick ball of whipped cream on top. “I promise not to tell anyone.”

Octavia looked unsure at first, but she couldn’t deny the offered foods looked tasty. And her parents rarely if ever let her have the filthier looking foods. “Well, maybe just a little of it.” After a small smack of her beak, she took a small nibble of the drumstick. Then one of the churros. Then some of the pie. And before the owlet could control herself, she had become lost in a sea of flavor, devouring almost every morsel she had been offered, overwhelmed by the various foods, until her face and dress were quite heavily stained.

By the time she stopped, there was barely any food on the table. Only the small bag of popcorn Loona was going through. The imp-pup looked at her in a mix of shock and impression. Upon realizing what she had done, Octavia looked away with an embarrased blush, unsure what to say, until she involuntarily let you a very unladylike: “burp.” At the sudden bleach, the girls looked at each other and then broke into amused giggles, the owlet soon forgetting about the whole affair. Afterwards, Loona stood up, licked her lips clean, and lead her friend onwards. “Come on, let’s get some cotton candy and play some games!”

“Ah say, ah say, come on over and get yourself a futur-vision crystal ball. Predict every second of your life, like them fancy royal folk, for only 109 $ouls! You won’t regret it!” Stolas tried to blot out the annoying imp, selling his counterfeit, overpriced junk to strangers for an easy buck. The prince didn’t know what to do, his anxiety increasing by the second. He had practically searched the park top-to-bottom and had still not found his daughter. At this point, he was starting to worry that her being kidnapped was indeed what had happened.

And the annoying, con-artist Wrath imp, with the beginnings of a mustache constantly pestering him, was not helping matters at all. “Well, ah say, ah say, is that Prince Stolas? Why my dark lord, it is a mighty honor having you visit our fair park.”

“Not now, imp, I’m busy.” Stolas tried to shake off the curved-horned snake oil salesman, but the man was quite insistent as he continued to follow him.

“Ah come no, here. Surely a man of such high regard and generosity as yourself has plenty of time to greet his subjects. And, mayhaps, sample some of their finest wares?” the imp offered one of his ‘crystal balls’, really just a glass orb painted green, with fake jewelry on a wooden stand, with a slightly crooked smile.

The prince gave the imp a hard push to the side, quicking his pace and his increasing panic causing the prince to steadily grow more hot-tempered and short in patience. “I already have plenty of crystals and future-seeing artifacts at my home, thank you. And they actually work.”

The tophat-wearing imp didn’t seem to take a hint, as he tried once more to push his merchandise onto the prince. “But, you can never have more than one right? Ah say, ah say you’ll just want this beauty amongst your collec-”

Stolas grabbed the imp by his collar and slammed him against a nearby wall, the con artist squeaking in surprise and then terror, as the prince glared down at him, his face and form turning into a sea of black and red feathers, as he looked at his with cold murderous eyes. “Do you know what I want, imp? I want just one, single day, where my life is not a neverending nightmare of regret, vow, stress, and marital agony. I had hoped to achieve that with a family trip to this place, but even here my constant pain never ends. If it’s not another fight with my wife, it’s bastards like you trying to play me for a fool, while I am constantly reminded of the few times I was ever happy. And now, my Octavia has vanished from my sight, due to my own foolishness and you come here parading your armature works to me like I’m some simpleminded yoke! So, if you know what’s best for you, you’d go about your merry way and pray to whichever sin you believe in, that I never see you again.”

The paled imp didn’t say anything at first, too scared by the prince’s new, horrifying visage to speak. “…So, yah don’t want one of my futur-vision balls?”

“WILL THE BALL, BRING MY DAUGHTER BACK?!”

“Maybe?!”

And far from the prince’s position, the two girls had reached their next stop. The games sections. There were arcade games, carnival games, mini-golf, laser tag, and everything in between. It was everything a kid like Loona could hope for. Hours and hours of distractions for her young mind. “So, which one you wanna do first V? I bet they’ve got some easy ones for-”

“Loona! Loona, look over here!” The owlette called out from a few feet away. The imp-pup walked over to her excited friend; she was by a game booth and pointed to one of the prizes. A child-sized stuffed doll, resembling the sown-up body of a dead penguin. “That dolly’s so cute!”

‘More like creepy as f*ck’ Loona thought to herself, but was unable to respond, as the carnie behind the booth, a rotund baphoment stepped in with a crooked smile.

“She sure is sweetie! You want it?” asked the goat man, to which the little princess nodded excitedly. He bellowed heartily, as pointed towards a faraway target, the Loo Loo mascot cheekily smiling at the crowd with a bullseye on its butt. “Well, all you’ve got to do is knock over little Loo Loo there, and she’s all yourself. That’ll be 10 $ouls for one round, please.”

He gave her a greedy-looking grin, which the owlet ignored, moving to pull out another 100 from her stock. Loona moved in to stop her before she could hand it to the carnie. “Uh, Via, I don’t think you should do this. Trust me, I’ve been here all my life and this place is full of cheaters and money grabbers.”

Via seemed to think about it for a moment, before shaking her head and handing the carnie her dollar. “It’s okay, Loona. I trust him.” The hybrid sighed at Octavia’s blind trust, while the carnie just grinned and handed Via her gun, along with 10 ‘bullets’. The little child struggled to even lift the thing, and once she got it, her aim was awful. Just about every one of her shots was either wildly off or not far enough. But on her last shot, by luck she actually managed to hit her target, right center.

Octavia beamed with joy at her lucky hit, only for the carnie to take away her gun, with a patronizing tut. “Oh dear, sorry kid, but no Loo Loo knocked over, no dolly for you,” the Baphomet announced, with clear joy as the owlet deflated sadly at the news. Much to the ire of a nearby imp-pup; she had expected this, but it still pissed her off to no end.

“Awww, but-but I really wanted it…” sighed Via sadly, as she placed the gun on the counter and prepared to leave when Loona stopped her.

The owlet turned to see her friend looking at her with a determined look. “Hey, you really want that doll?” Via nodded shyly. “Here, let me have a go. I know a little trick that’ll definitely get you the bird.”

“Ooooh, okay,” the owlet nodded again, handing Loona another dollar. The imp-pup slapped the bill on the counter and grinned at the Carnie.

“Alright, old man. One round, please,” the baphomet handed Loona a popgun, which she happily accepted. Holding it steady, remembering the few lessons her dad had taught her, she carefully aimed at the target, her tongue sticking out as she closed her other eye, took a deep breath, squeezed the trigger…

And fired right into the carnie’s eye.

The baphomet screamed in pain, as he clutched his now bleeding eye, while Loona jumped over the counter, grabbed Via’s doll, and leaped back over, grabbing the owlet’s hand and bolted while screaming “MOVEMOVEMOVEMOVEMOVE!!!!” The two ran off before they could get into trouble, while the baphoment continued to cry. The owlet was quite shocked at the display but eventually laughed as she ran alongside her new friend and the doll in her arm.

The girls finally slowed down, having long since run past the games section, their laughter dying down, as they stopped to catch their breath. “That was so much fun!” exclaimed the little Octavia.

“I know right?” Loona asked her friends, with a bright smile. “I’d told yah, we’d have fun didn’t I?”

“You did! And you were right. Thank you so much for my dolly,” Via cheered brightly, as she hugged her dead penguin doll. Then she suddenly realized something and began to grow worried. “Uh, but I should probably go back to dad now. I don’t want him to worry about me.”

The hybrid looked disappointed by her suggestion, but couldn’t argue with her logic and nodded. “Yeah, I guess we have been gone for a while. My dad’s probably worried about me too…”

Via chimed up at that, turning towards the imp-pup in excitement. “You can come and meet my daddy! He’s really nice and I bet he would love, to meet my new friend!” She had said it so innocently, but her word choice had hit the imp-pup right in her core.

“Y…you think, I’m your…friend?” Loona asked slowly; no one had ever called her that before.

Via just let out a cute giggle and nodded. “Of course, you are silly.”

The hybrid started at her, not sure how to feel. She had never had any friends before now. All the other kids just saw her as a freak. An abomination. No one at school or at Loo Loo Land had treated her any differently her whole life. So to hear this from someone, she had just met…Loona didn’t know what to feel or say.

The thought had to be put on hold though, as a booming magical presence erupted from the center of the amusem*nt park, and a great flash of black and red, and a bellowing screech echoed throughout the place and in everyone’s mind. Loona turned to the source and nearly shrieked in horror as a massive four-eyed black bird was causing a scene, the onlookers running from it in teroor. She cried out scared at the horrific monster. “What the f*ck is that?!”

Via just giggled playfully at the beast. “Oh, that’s my dad!”

“What?!”

“Yep, his name’s Stolas and he’s a prince,” the apparent princess explained calmly, before looking at her father worriedly. “He must be really worried about me if he’s starting to turn into his big form.”

It took Loona a minute to process, what she had just been told. “…WHAT?! Your dad is THE Prince Stolas?! You’re an Ars Goetia?!”

“Yeah, of course,” Octavia confirmed like it was the simplest thing, not noticing the shock on her friend’s face. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to my dad.” She grabbed Loona’s hand and dragged her towards her father, the gobsmacked hybrid unable to do anything but follow her.

The two approached the feral beast, that Stolas had become, his growing worry and panic having completely consumed him until he was transformed into his true demonic self, determined to tear the park apart, Stella’s ire be damned, to find his daughter. The other residents, the staff, and everyone ran away from the demonic prince’s path, as he ripped through everything in sight. He would not rest until he had found-

“Hi, dad!”

The beast stopped, upon hearing a familiar voice. Turning to the source he found his little girl, happily waving towards him, next to a hellhound/imp hybrid with her mouth wide open.

“Octavia?” The beast whispered in surprise at the sight, and almost instantly reverted into his normal owl form, running towards his daughter in relief. “Octavia!” Via laughed as she happily ran towards her father as well.

“Oh Via darling, thank goddess I found you!” Stolas grabbed his daughter, lifted her up, and enveloped her in a hug. One that the ignorant Octavia was more than happy to return, with her adorably tiny arms. Loona just stood in place shocked. Stolas eventually unwrapped himself from Via with a stern frown. “But, do you have any idea, how worried your mother and I were, young lady? I thought I told you to wait for daddy to pick you up after the show. What have I told you about sneaking off alone? Something awful might’ve happened to you.”

Octavia just smiled innocently. “But I wasn’t alone, daddy! I had my friend Loona with me the whole time, see?” She indicated toward the hybrid. Said hybrid had not yet fully processed the fact she had spent the better half of her day with a princess and was now face to face, with her very powerful prince father, who had just moments ago been a nightmarish black monster tearing apart the park. It had all been, rather understandably overwhelming for her.

Stolas turned toward Loona, all four eyes narrowing suspiciously at the girl, which finally snapped her out of her trance, as she gulped under his watch. “Is this true, little hybrid? And I trust, you kept her out of trouble?” asked the prince sternly.

Loona immediately nodded like mad, not wanting to anger the prince. “Y-y-yes sir, I mean, your highness! Safe and sound, with no trouble at all sir,” she answered, mostly correctly, a nervous chuckle escaping her.

The prince eyed her for a while as if to detect any possible lie, Octavia looked at her father, afraid that he might do something bad to her friend, before sighing and smiling thankfully. “Well, while I can’t say I approve of this…unwelcomed turn of events, you have my sincere thanks for taking care of my little Octavia. H-here, take this, as a token of my thanks.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of bills, which he handed to the hybrid. Loona accepted the stash and nearly had a hard attack at the amount. If her math was correct, she was still working on her math with the videos from her dad, this had to be as much money her dad made from work. “Oh my, Satan! T-thank you so much, your highness, sir.”

Stolas waved off her thanks amicably, before turning to Via. “Alright, I believe that’s enough excitement for one day. Come along, Via time to go home.”

Octavia blinked and cried out to her father disappointedly. “What? No. Can’t we stay a little longer daddy? I wanna play some more with my friend!” She looked at Stolas pleadingly, not wanting to depart from Loona just yet.

The prince looked surprised by his daughter’s pleas. From her tearful, pleading face she really looked like she wanted to play with the hybrid some more. Stolas considered it for a while, before shaking his head. “I’m sorry Via, but it’s getting close to dinner time and your mother is probably starting to get worried. I think it best if we return home.”

Via pouted disappointed but didn’t argue. “Can I at least say goodbye to Loona?” Stolas agreed to that, gently placing her down and allowing Octavia to approach Loona. Once she was in range, she brought the hybrid into a tearful hug, much to Loona’s surprise. “Goodbye Loona. Thanks for playing with me.”

The imp-pup stood there a while, taken back by the warm hug, before smiling and returning it. “It was nothing, Via. I had fun playing with you.”

As the two finally broke apart, Via rubbed away her tears and looked at her with a sad smile. “H-here, I want you to have this,” she handed Loona the plush in her hand, the same one the hybrid had won for her.

The hybrid fumbled and nearly dropped the dead penguin, as it was placed in her hands. She looked at the thing confused, surprised even, then looked back at Octavia, unsure what to say once more. This was a gift. The only gifts she ever got were from her dad and her babysitter. “V-via, I-I-I can’t. I mean, it’s yours right? Are you sure, you don’t want-”

“Yes, it’s okay. I have this from when we first meet, remember?” The owlette pulled out her wormhorse from the tent and showed it to the imp-pup, from the sidelines Stolas had a brief flash of remembrance, before forgetting it again. “Now we both have one!”

Loona’s tail wagged slightly at the princess’ kindness. She looked at her new doll, it hadn’t really been her style, too creepy and weird looking for her tastes. But looking at it now, it wasn’t that bad actually. It felt nice, getting a gift. “T-thanks. This…is really cool. I love it.” She fought back a cry as she looked at Via hopefully. “H-hey, m-maybe we can meet again someday, y-yeah?”

Via smiled at her, a silent promise that they would. After, the owlet returned to her dad, the pair of owls walked off, while Loona went back to her father by the tent. Making sure to safely pocket the money she received and that her doll was safely in her hands, she thought about her day and smiled fondly. Even if it had only lasted one day, she had finally made a friend. It felt nice. And fun, having finally had someone other than her dad and babysitter to play with, after so long. She couldn’t wait to tell her dad all about it. The weekend hadn’t turned out so badly after all.

Chapter 6: Young Wolf: Raining Bullets and Dogs

Chapter Text

“Dad, teach me how to use a gun!”

Blitzo blinked, taken aback by his daughter’s sudden request. Lying down on the couch, he looked upwards to find Loona standing above him, looking down at him with a determined frown. “Uhhh, why?”

“Cause it’s awesome and I’m bored on a Saturday, and I wanna shoot people, duh!” Loona answered back like it was the simplest reason in Hell.

“…Well, I can’t argue with that,” muttered Blitzo after thinking about it for a moment, before frowning sternly at his daughter. “But no.”

Loona looked at him completely outraged, her spines flaring up for a bit. “What? Why not?!”

Sitting up straight, the imp crossed his arms while glaring at his daughter, doing his best to look fatherly and wise. “Loonie, first of all, you’re 7 years old. Kids your age shouldn’t be using weapons, unless it’s for self-defense or stealing from dicks.”

The imp-pup just scoffed, placing her hands on her hips defiantly: “Kids in Wrath learn how to use a shotgun to kill cows when they’re five!”

“And luckily for you, we don’t live in Wrath. Trust me, you ain’t missing out. Nothing but murderhobos and cousin f*ckers down there,” said Blitzo, looking a little green at the thought, before continuing. “And second of all, I’m not gonna teach you to kill people, just cause you’re bored.”

Loona moaned before flopping down on the couch in an irritated slump. “But it’s sooooooo boring today! There’s nothing on TV, I’m tired of the video games you got me and I wanna try something different. Can I just try one round with your pistol?”

The imp-pup carefully reached for her father’s flintlock, right in his jacket pocket, with an innocent smile. Blitzo noticed right as it was within reach and quickly pulled it away from her hands before she could grab hold of it. The imp’s glare intensified as he looked down at his daughter. “Loona! Don’t make me ground you again, missy. Guns are not toys, you understand? If you’re not careful, you could really end up hurting somebody! Or yourself!”

Loona just looked at her father in a mix of confusion and trying to figure out if he was joking. “Come on dad, I’m not that stupid! And so what if I hurt someone? You shoot people all the time!”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m a part-time assassin. I do it for the job, not ‘cause I like it,” defended Blitzo; though internally he admitted to liking it a lot.

His daughter just rolled her eyes and sat back up. “No! I mean you shoot people outside of the ass-ass-ing. Like the teenager in the coffee shop when he got your order wrong.”

“Okay, that was just an accident-”

“And our neighbor Steve, when his queef pissed on our door-”

“I wasn’t aiming at him, I was-”

“AND, when those teenagers at Loo Loo Land popped all your balloons and drove your cart into the sewer-”

“DIDN’T COUNT! Those f*ckers had it coming!” Blitzo snapped in outrage, his finger instinctively wrapping around the flintlock trigger. His sudden outburst earned a knowing smirk from Loona. The imp sheepishly coughed and tried to reassume his stern disposition on the matter. “My point still stands, you shouldn’t use guns to solve your problems.”

“Ugh, are you gonna tell me I should solve my problems by talking it out and making friends?” The imp-pup rolled her eyes annoyed, disgusted at the thought.

“Oh, f*ck no! If some asshole messes for you, go for the throat!” Her father encouraged pridefully, giving his daughter a playful rub to the head, before eyeing her sternly. “But getting sued and put in jail for bullet wounds is a lot more of a pain in the balls, than scratches and bites. And the last thing either of us needs is more hot water.”

Blitzo considered the matter dropped, but Loona did not. After being bored all day, she really wanted to do something fun before the weekend ended; and she had been wanting to use a gun for almost a year now. So, she decided to use her last resort. “Come on dad, just this once? I promise I’ll be careful and never use it on anyone. At least, not anyone who doesn’t totally deserve it,” she asked him as sweetly as she could, looking at him, with her hands together, wagging her tail as the imp-pup gave him the puppy dog eyes. “Pleeeeease?”

“No!”

“Please?”

“No?”

“Please?”

“N-no, and that’s final!”

“Pretty please?”

“SATAN, DAMN IT NO!!!”

“PleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePleasePlease…” The imp-pup kept on asking, her eyes somehow getting bigger each time until Blitzo finally let out an annoyed, irritated groan.

“ALRIGHT! Fine, f*ck it, we’re shooting guns today!”

“YES!” Loona cheered in excitement, dancing on the floor in victory before beelining to the door. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I’m gonna learn to kill people!”

Blitzo stopped her mid-run, grabbing her by the horn. “Oh no, you ain’t!” commanded the imp as her reigned her in. “You’re gonna learn to shoot cardboard cutouts and clay pigeons. You shoot one ass in the ass and it’s your butt on the ground for the rest of the month! In fact, just for that, no cookies for a week,” Loona just stuck out her tongue playfully teasing her father, who just rolled his eyes and headed for the door, motioning her to follow. “Now come on, let’s get you to a range.”

It proved to be surprisingly difficult to find a gun range in Greed, that didn’t use live targets. And that was even taking into account, that they lived far, far away from the den of lowlives and scum that was Notamafia Town; Blitzo made sure to try and steer as far away from that place, whenever he was out with Loona.

It took about an hour before they finally found a good enough facility all the way over by the eastern side of town. The imp could hear the gunshots even from out the car and felt his nerves welling up. So many dangerous weapons with equally crazy and violent asses using them. Worries about what might happen to Loona if she accidentally misused a gun or someone else got a little trigger-happy began playing in his head like mad.

Loona however, just grinned excitedly as she exited the car and lead her father inside, tail wagging like mad as she looked at the many cool guns on display by the wall, with a hungry smile. “Ooooh, this is so cool! Check out that big one over there! And that long one there.” One notable weapon caught her interest though. It was a massive and dangerous-looking bazooka, almost twice as big as her and just as wide. “Awww man, they’ve even got a bazooka! Ohoho, I have got to try out that one for sure!” Blitzo had to restrain her from getting the dangerous rocket launcher before she could reach it.

“Oh no, you don’t missy! You’re not shooting anything until we get you geared up!” He began dragging the protesting imp-pup over to the lobby, where after signing both of them up, he handed her a big pair of earmuffs and safety glasses. “Here, that’ll keep you safe and sound like a bug.” He announced with an encouraging smile.

The pup looked at them with contempt and frowned at her father. “I don’t need this junk to shoot! You’re not wearing them.”

And indeed Blitzo had opted against wearing the equipment, instead heading straight for the guns and ammo. “‘Cause I’m used to this junk. You’re a newbie and one mistake’s all it takes to leave you deaf and blind,” he lectured protectively defending himself. Loona glared defiantly at him, but the imp wouldn’t budge. “Sorry Loonie, but you can either put’em on or we can go back home.”

The imp’s stern gaze showed that he very much meant it and that he was not going to be talked out of this. So with an annoyed grumble, Loona put on the gear frustrated: “Fine…”. Blitzo beamed up happily at that patting his daughter on the head.

“That’s my girl! Now, you ready to start firing?” asked Blitz with a smile handing Loona a weapon; a simple silver-colored colt, just big enough for the tiny imp-pup’s hands.

Loona felt the gun in her paws and started grinning in excitement. She was holding a gun! Not one of those childish pop-guns or BBs she got on her birthday, but an actual gun loaded with metal bullets, intended to kill any asshole who f*cked with them. The imp-pup became giddy just holding it. “Oooooh, this is so COOL! What do I shoot? What do I shoot? I wanna blast something!”

Blitzo didn’t know whether to be worried or proud about his daughter’s sudden insatiable bloodlust, but he laughed good-naturedly at her eagerness and guided her onwards. “Okay, try to keep your murder boner on the low there Loonie. There should be some good targets right over there.”

He lead his overjoyed daughter towards an open section of the range, where cutout targets of demons, were being shot at by various hellborn. Some created small holes with their pistols, while others utterly destroyed the targets with their larger guns. The sight of it made Blitzo very terrified and Loona even more excited. Leading his daughter to an unused target, he bent down to her height and instructed her to aim.

“Now, before anything else remember to click down the top to turn off the safety.” The imp-pup did as instructed, her barrel aimed right at the center of the bullseye, painted on the cutout hellhound, while Blitzo continued directing her. “Okay, now keep it steady and hold on tight. You hold that thing too softy and the recoil will turn your teeth into f*cking pebbles. Keep your aim focused on your target and make sure to line up the front side with the backside. Once you’re confident, take a breath and fire at will. Got all that?”

Loona nodded confidently and aimed toward the target. Sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth. Doing her best to carefully aim at the center of the target. Once she got it lined up, Loona began pulling on the trigger…and suddenly felt a pair of arms grab her by the shoulders. The imp-pup blinked and turned around, to see Blitzo holding her in place, causing her to groan annoyed: “Daaaaad, let go of me; I can do this on my own!”

“Now now, Loonie, better safe than sorry; remember that recoil can f*ck you up if you’re not ready for it,” the imp lectured in a fatherly matter, which only further infuriated Loona.

“Ugh, I’m already wearing the dumb glasses and muffs! You’re being so embarrassing right now!” She shook herself free from her father’s grasp, much to his dismay, before lining her shot up again. Once she had her aim right, she fired.

BANG!

“Ooof!” Loona nearly fell to the ground in a rough tumble, the sudden force of the still-smoking gun causing the unprepared child to stumble back a few paces and nearly trip.

Almost instantly, Blitzo rushed to her side and expected her in concern. “Loona? Loonie are you al-?”

“Did I hit it? Was it a bullseye? Get outta my way, I need to see!” The imp-pup shook off the shock in seconds, looking towards the target in excitement at her work. To her delight, she had managed to hit the target…just not where she had hoped for, as it barely scratched the surface of the outmost ring. She pouted in disappointment “Aww damn it, I missed! But I know I aimed for the big spot.”

Blitzo, relieved to see his daughter in an unhurt state, just patted her back encouragingly, beaming with a proud smile. “What are you talking about Loonie, you did great! Everyone misses on their first round.” He went back to try and steady her, only for Loona to shake him off. “Come on, try again. Watch the recoil some more and I’m sure you’ll get it this time.”

The hybrid child nodded and resumed aim, burying her feet in the ground to keep her from falling. With her father’s encouragement, she continued to fire for a good 5 minutes, this time managing to keep her footing as she did, even as her hands buzzed from the recoil. Her first few shots were misses with two not even hitting the cutout, but as she fired, Loona’s aiming improved; the next few got inside the inner circle and finally managed to land a shoot, almost dead center at the bullseye.

The sight made Loona absolutely thrilled. “I did it! I did it! I hit the center! Did you see that dad?”

Blitzo shared her smile, giving her a great big squeeze, as tears threatened to fall from his proud eyes. It seemed that any previous worries he might’ve had earlier had been melted away by fatherly pride. “I did! Ooooh, that was awesome Loonie, you’re like a tiny, female, furry, and scaly James Bond! I’m so proud of you!” He started showering her with kisses, which while nice at first, soon began making the hybrid increasingly annoyed as she struggled to pull him off.

“Daaaad, stop! That’s enough, you’re making me look stupid,” she grumbled pulling herself free, though it was clear to everyone with her wagging tail, that she was delighted despite it all. “Now come on, I wanna try something else! Like the bazooka!”

The hybrid started dragging her father back towards the massive, dangerous-looking weapon from before, but Blitzo, not missing a beat, picked her up and dragged her along before she could reach it. “Oh no no no! No way I’m letting you anywhere near that thing; you’ll probably break your arm just lifting it.”

Loona sighed annoyed at her father’s protectiveness and rolled her eyes: “Dad, I can handle it! I wanna try other guns too. They all look so cool.”

“No chance, my word’s final!” Blitzo insisted, his protective side coming through again, at the thought of his little child getting hurt by the bigger guns. “I already didn’t like taking you to this place, so if you expect to be here any longer and shoot the sh*t out of cardboard and stuff some more, you’re gonna do what your daddy tells you to do. Got it?!” The imp looked down at his daughter with an unmoving frown, one that she tried to match in kind with her pout.

The two had a minute-long starring contest with Loona doing her damndest to keep up, even holding her breath for extra emphasis, but ultimately she backed down with an irritated groan. “Okay, I guess we can just do the pistol.”

Like a candle, Blitzo lit back up and patted his daughter on the back. “There you go, that’s more like it sweetie. Now come on, there’s still plenty of shooting we can do!” He tried to get her juiced up again, as he lead her towards another sector of the range, a mix of moving and still targets, but it wasn’t as effective as hoped, with Loona’s mood soured by her father’s strict protectiveness and rules.

From there, the two spent almost an hour shooting guns, Loona sticking to her colt while her father changed up weapons depending on the targets. And the imp-pup still couldn’t help but feel jealous of him. Sure, shooting with the colt was fun, especially the more her aim improved, but she wanted to use the cool stuff too, like her dad! He got to have the rifles and machine guns, and she was stuck with a measly pistol. It wasn’t fair; why was he getting all the fun stuff?

She tried to keep her mind off it with some more shooting, her and Blitzo blowing apart cardboard cutouts and paper targets. And once she was good enough with that, Loona’s father agreed to let her move over to moving targets, the two shooting at clay pigeons and bullseyes zipping across the field. That managed to keep Loona entertained for a while longer, as the Imp-pup found the change difficult but a fun one, with her quick reactions and attempts to knock down the moving buggers, kept her on edge for a long while. But eventually, that slowly began losing its charm, as the desire to use something other than her tiny colt, began to dance around in the hound’s mind. If only her dad wasn’t so stupidly stubborn and would let her have a go at something cooler!

Her growing obsession with the subject was distracting her enough that she started aim started slipping up more than usual. “Wooo! Almost got it that time Loonie! Try to aim just below the target before it falls!” Blitzo called out in encouragement despite the miss, just delighted to see her daughter at work with the clay pigeons.

She rolled her eyes, having heard this advice five times now, and fired at a falling pigeon.

Click. Click-Click-Click.

Loona cursed under her breath, watching her target hit the ground undestroyed, her gun once more running out of bullets. She reached for some more ammo, only to find her stash completely empty. Blitzo reached for his share, only to find nothing there either.

Their stock of bullets had finally run dry, leaving them with empty guns. Blitzo sighed disappointedly by it, having come to enjoy the time with Loona, once his fears began easing. “sh*t, empty already? I was just about to beat my record too.” He turned towards Loona, as he went back over to the armory. “You okay with waiting here Loonie? Just getting some bullets, won’t take long.”

The hybrid nodded and watched her father off, forced to wait until he returned with more bullets; now she was really getting bored. Unable to fire the gun, she had nothing left to distract her, and the itch for something new and fun was starting to take hold.

The hybrid wandered around the range area waiting for her dad, when she caught something from the corner of her eyes. Looking over she found something completely different from the usual paper targets, cutouts, and clay disks.

Behind an open door, was a large open field, filled with demons, looking much richer than the rest of the hell-born indoors firing rifles and shotguns at the air. And from the sound and looks of things, they were shooting at something other than pigeons and bullseyes. Loona’s eyes widened in curiosity and then in excitement. They were even readily handing guns out to kids!

Finally! With her dad gone, she’d finally get her chance at something cool! The imp-pup immediately ran over towards the field, grabbing one of the rifles from the stands. In her excitement, she neglected to notice how the fancy-dressed demons were all looking at her in either disgust, confusion, or amusem*nt. She just wanted to shoot things.

Or try to anyway. Loona struggled to lift the much longer and heavier weapon, her small body not used to the change in weaponry after using the colt for so long. Not helping matters were the other demons, openly mocking and laughing at her plight in between shots. After some work, she managed to lift it well enough to start using it. The hybrid waited for the targets and was surprised to find that they were the body parts of various imps and hellhounds; arms, legs, torsos, horns, tails, and even full-on heads. The sight sicked Loona, this was not what she had expected at all. The imp-pup considered going back inside and away from all of this, but her desire to fire the cool-looking rifle won out, so she stuck to it. The hybrid told herself that she had seen far worse on the streets; at least these were already dead demons rather than living ones. So she aimed her rifle at a nearby falling imp horn, consciously avoiding any fleshy body parts, and fired.

BANG!

The hybrid was knocked to the floor by the blast, completely unprepared for the force of the bigger weapon. She fell on her back with a rough oomph, her chest stinging from the butt of the rifle slamming against her. The demons all laugh heartily at the poor girl’s plight, causing a few angry and humiliated tears to break out from her eyes. And what was worse, was she had completely missed her target, making her feel even more embarrassed. Things couldn’t get much worse than that.

“LOONA!”

The imp-pup cringed at the familiar, very angry voice calling out to her. She turned to see her father, angrily marching towards her, his glare absolutely furious. “And just what the f*ck do you think, you’re doing here little missy?!”

The young child looked down nervously for a second, before glaring back at him in annoyance. “I just wanted to try out these cool guns-”

“After, I very clearly told you not to!” Blitzo lectured her, taking the rifle from Loona’s hands against her protests, his glare never leaving. “I told you over and over again, you weren’t ready for these things! You could’ve broken your arm! f*ck! I don’t know whether I’m more ashamed of you for disobeying me or for trying to shoot down actual body parts!”

That got her scowling back at him in anger. “What’s the big f*cking deal? It’s not like I was killing living demons, they were already dead! And all the other kids were doing it too! So why can’t I?!” Loona pointed towards the other kids, who were happily firing the oversized guns, with the encouragement of their parents.

“Because I said so! And that should be enough!” answered Blitzo, as if that explained everything, crossing her arms as he did.

All that accomplished was infuriating Loona who began to growl/hiss at her dad, her spines flaring up in a serpent-like rattle. “Argh! Dad, I’m not a f*cking baby anymore! I can handle it just fine! But you won’t let! You won’t even let me try!” She argued back, ignoring the still stinging pain in her chest from when she fired the rifle. All the while the other demons looked at the fight in either annoyance or amusem*nt, one fat imp grinning as an idea popped into his head.

“Because I know you’d only be hurting yourself like you almost did just now. I knew taking you here was a bad idea.” Blitzo countered loudly and stubbornly, worries breaking through again, as he gave his daughter an ultimatum. “Now, this is your last Loona. So…you can either follow my rules, or we’re leaving this place right now.”

For a moment, Loona’s eyes widened, making Blitzo regret his harsh choice of words before she finally huffed and stumbled away, refusing to look her dad in the eye. “Fine! I didn’t wanna-”

BANG!

“GAH!” Loona exclaimed in fright, as a bullet whizzed past her head and horns, and nearly grazed her ear. The scared imp-pup dropped to the ground and fell into shock, unable to fully process what had just happened.

“Oh sh*t, LOONA!” Blitzo cried out in terror, any anger immediately forgotten, as he frantically searched her body for any signs of damage while crying out: “Loona, sweetie, are you okay? Are you hurt? Did that bullet get you somewhere? Loonie, pumpkin look at me! Speak to me, are you alright?”

Loona didn’t respond at first, still shaken by how close the bullet had come to being fatal. Slowly, she began to calm down and faced her panicking father, giving him a small nod she was unhurt. But not fully unharmed, as her breath was faltering and frighted tears threatened to well up.

“Oops, my bad. I thought she was a dragon!” A deep, cruel voice called out mockingly from the sides. The fat, rich-looking imp, with a smoker’s bud, laughed cruelly while holding his smoking gun. In the background, his buddies were jeering mockingly at the sight, while the overweight man kept on. “But in my defense, last I checked they didn’t allow live animals or mix-and-matched abominations in this place. This park is for rich folks only, not bottom-dwellers and mistakes like you lot. So how’s about you take your accident there and head back inside? Or better yet, get out of this place entirely?”

Blitzo didn’t hear most of their cruel jeering, the imp seeing red at his daughter’s having experienced a near-death. What good luck he had happened to have a rifle in his hand. “YOU HURT MY BABY GIRL!!!”

BANG! BANG! BANG!

With a flip of the rifle, he began unloading the ammo at the chortling demons, easily killing the fat toad that had taken a shot at Loona, while his buddies began to scatter. Loona didn’t pay attention to her father as he slaughtered the rich pigs, still too shocked by the sudden attempt on her life, sitting on the ground and hugging herself for comfort, as cried in fear. She just sat there until security showed up and dragged her and Blitzo out of the range.

The drive home was not a happy one.

The father and daughter pair were told, that they’d be thrown into the deepest cell in Greed if they ever showed their face there again before security kicked them out to the curve.

Blitzo had spent almost half an hour cursing them out for that, before finally returning to his car, grumbling as he drove back home. Loona however, was in a much worse state, looking out the window and fighting back any more tears, cheeks already sandy from the ones she had already shed, her ears flattened and her tail hanging limply between her feet; her previous wide-eyed enthusiasm and excitement were completely ruined in one moment.

Once Blitzo finally calmed down, he looked over at his somber-looking daughter and turned sad at her state. He hadn’t seen her this upset in a while; his daughter had faced no end of discrimination and mockery due to her hybrid status, but it had never reached those levels. It broke his heart to see her like this. Taking a small detour from their drive home, he parked near a WackDonalds and attempted to say something comforting; though struggled to think of what to say. He wasn’t always the best when it came to words. Especially not comforting ones. After an awkward silence, he coughed and weakly said: “Hey, Loonie? I-I just wanted to say, you did a hell of a job with that colt back there in the range. I was sh*tting myself thinking you were going to get hurt, but you just shat all over those fears. You’re really something special, you know that?”

Loona didn’t respond, besides a slight shuffle of her hoofed feet and her back spines twitching a bit. Not a perfect sign but it was better than nothing. “Seriously, a little more practice and you could put your old man to shame. If you’d like, we could head down some other range next week and get some more shooting done.”

She let out a mirthless scoff at that. “Why? So some other jerkhole can try to shoot me again?”

Blitzo faltered at that, his face turning into a broken frown. “Loonie, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I should never have left you alone, you would’ve never gotten anywhere near those assholes and you’d never have gotten hurt!”

“Whatever, it’s too late now!” Loona exclaimed bitterly in a furious growl. “I’m never going back to those stupid ranges ever again anyway! It’s just filled with more assholes, who make fun of me, or pick on me, or wanna shoot at me and…GAH!” Loona slammed her fists in anger against the window, the front, the radio, and everything within range. all the while tears began flowing through her eyes. “Guns are stupid anyway! I hate them! Only jerks use them. Stupid, asshole jerks! f*ck them all!” Blitzo just sat in his seat, silently watching as his daughter throw an angry, scared, and sad fit in the van, her bottled-up emotions breaking loose, until she finally came to a stop, breathing out labored breaths. He struggled to find words to say, after that.

“…Loona, I-”

“Here!” Loona interrupted him, by violently throwing the colt into his lab. “I don’t want it. You happy now, dad?! You finally happy I don’t want your dumb gun?” She accused him bitterly, her sad eyes narrowed at her father.

“N-no. No, of course not Loona,” Blitzo cried out in anguish, genuinely hurt by his daughter’s accusation. Taking a deep breath, he looked at her and tried to explain. “Look, I know I didn’t want to teach you guns yet, and sure part of it is that you’re still small and stuff, but mostly that was only cause I didn’t want you getting hurt. Guns aren’t toys, trust me I learned that the hard way. How do you think I got some of these?” He gestured towards his scars, before continuing, Loona still looking angry but curious. “I was gonna teach you when you were older, when you could handle the big stuff. Even giving you this colt, had me on edge the whole time. And yet, there you were blowing me away with how good you were with this. You were blasting apart targets, hitting bullseyes, nailing those clay pots, and you’re still only seven.” His honest, loving praise and confession, seemed to break through to Loona, the imp-pup’s anger fading bit by bit, as the sound of her father’s praise warmed her up. “You’re even better than I was at your age! How f*cking cool was that? We should’ve done this way sooner,” Blitzo’s turned to his daughter, looking at her in shame. “And I should’ve been smart enough, not to leave you alone like that. Especially near those bastards.”

That got through to the imp-pup, he choked up at her next words. “H-he tried to k-kill me, dad,” as she began bursting into tears again, Blitzo went straight for the hug, which Loona didn’t fight against. “I-I-I did-dn’t do anything to anyone, I was j-just there a-a-and h-ee…” she sobbed against his chest, as tears and snot began pouring out of her. “Why? W-w-why do people h-hate me? I n-never did anything to them. I’m just d-d-different! Why?”

Blitzo rubbed her back gently and sighed defeatedly. “Because hell sucks and is full of assholes. That’s all there is to it.” He held her a little tighter as he lovingly comforted her. “There-there Loona. I’ve got you. No one’s gonna hurt you, while your badass dad is here. You’re perfect you hear? Don’t let any asshole tell you otherwise.”

Loona nodded, as the two embraced for a good while longer, the imp-pup content to stay in her father’s arms forever. Eventually, the two broke up and resumed their seats as Blitzo started up the van.

“You sure you don’t wanna give this another try?” Blitzo asked tentatively, looking over to Loona, who was still in a gloomy state. “I know this whole day ended up in the sh*tter, but today was nice, you know? Getting to shoot together. Maybe, we could try a rifle next time?”

Loona shook her head. “No. I don’t think I wanna shot anymore. At least, not for a while,” she tried to give him an encouraging smile, but it was obviously fake. “Claws and teeth are better anyways.”

The imp nodded disappointedly. He was about to start the car when a thought crept into his mind; he let out a small smirk.“…you know, I think I know what might cheer you up.”

“I’m not in the mood for ice cream, dad,” muttered Loona apathetically.

“Not what I had in mind Loonie. Why don’t you open up that bag by your feet?” He gestured to underneath her seat, with a sly grin.

Loona turned downwards, to see an inconspicuous plastic bag, right beneath her hooves. The imp-pup co*cked her head in curiosity. Had that always been there? She bent down and peeked at what was inside. And upon seeing the contents, the imp-pup nearly squeed in excitement. “No way!”

She immediately pulled it out of the bag, struggling to get it fully out, with how large and heavy it was. It was the bazooka! The same one from the range, that she had begged her father to let her use. She turned to Blitzo with an absolutely ecstatic grin. “D-dad, how the f*ck did you get this?”

The imp just shrugged innocently. “Well, I may or may not have swiped it from the range, right before that asshole security guard was busy oogoling up some big-tittied blonde. Thought it might be useful, in case the landlord tries to run us out early. So what do you think?”

Loona practically jumped over to his seat and tackled him in a thrilled hug, her tail wagging like mad as she did, squeeing into his chest. “What do I think? Dad, this is so cool! I love it! You’re the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Blitzo was all too happy to return the hug, glad to see his daughter in a better mood. “Awww, I knew you’d like it, Loonie-Toonie. Unfortunately, I’ve only got one rocket for it right now, so we should be careful how we use it.” Pulling Loona off him for a moment, he gave her a playful grin. “Any place you wanna blow to Kingdom Come, kiddo?”

Loona thought for a moment and then smiled wickedly.

Moneyzville Elementary. Her first school was still as rundown, authoritarian, and ugly as Loona had remembered it. Which was going to make it all the sweeter, to watch it turn into a pile of bricks and fire any moment now.

Loona, a good distance away, grinned evilly, while Blitzo loaded up the Bazooka. Once the rocket was in place, he handed the launcher to his trigger-happy daughter. She accepted it happily and aimed at the school. Until the weight of the thing, caused it to tumble to the ground the moment it was in her hands. No matter how hard the hybrid tried to lift it up, the bazooka wouldn’t budge.

The imp-pup strained trying to get it up when a familiar pair of hands gently grabbed her by the shoulder. “Need a hand with that?” Blitzo asked hopefully.

Loona rolled her eyes and pretended to be annoyed. “Okay fine. But just this once!” Her tail gave away that she didn’t mind at all.

Blitzo chuckled good-naturedly and together, father and daughter aimed at the school and fired the rocket right into the building.

BOOOOOOOM!

Upon impact, the building exploded into a miniature fireball of death, that sent brick, wood, desks, chairs, and equipment flying all over Greed. All that remained of the building, was a small hunk of burning metal that was slowly crumbling into a pile of rubble.

Father and daughter looked at the display and laughed, calling out curses, jeers, and laughs at the sight of the destruction. They continued the mockery for what felt like hours, even as they were driving back home before the police could pin the blame on them and both collapsed onto the couch, their moods much brighter than before. Once they were done, they sighed in contentment, satisfied with their day.

Blitzo turned to his daughter. “Hey Loona, you feeling better?”

She laughed softly in response. “Yeah, that felt awesome! I…I think I’m going to be okay now. Thanks again, dad.”

“Anytime Loonie. Anytime.”

“…so what’s for dinner?”

“…breakfast for dinner?”

“f*ck yeah, breakfast for dinner!”

Chapter 7: I.M.P. Years: A Surprise Dinner Guest

Chapter Text

Loona all but kicked the door off its hinges, as she trudged inside her apartment. The young adult imp-hound was this close to flopping onto her bed and sleeping off the rest of her evening, finally giving her some much-needed rest after a long day of work.

The hybrid grumbled as she tossed her work jacket onto the floor. If she saw another empty self in need of stocking, or a customer having trouble finding the damn oatmeal, or heard that squeaky-noised sh*t Elliot telling her she wasn’t supposed to listen to music during her shift, Loona was going to strangle the nearest living being until their eyes popped out. Satan, she hated retail.

She would’ve quit months ago if the rent in Greed wasn’t so damn high. Once she was old enough to legally join the workforce, Loona insisted that she get some kind of job, so that she and her father could better afford the basics and a better place for them to live. Blitzo had been reluctant, always so damn insisting on doing everything for her like she was still seven years old, but Loona had convinced him this would be better for them in the long run. Especially after his last attempt to get back into entertainment and his rough break up with Verosika, had left them at a pretty rough spot for a while.

It sucked ass having to stock shelves and throw out expired bread at Bernie’s but if it allowed them to have hot water and passable food on the table, she’d live through it.

She just hoped her dad had come home from work by now. He mentioned he’d be home a little late this time around, though not more so than a few hours, but given how he was most of the time, Loona had learned not to buy his promise every time. Especially since he had left for work yesterday.

Thankfully for her, it didn’t take long for the imp-hound to get her answer. She could hear him loudly talking in the kitchen. And with one sniff of her nose, she smirked in delight as she recognized that smell. He had brought dinner! Chinese if she was right. Thank f*ck; she hadn’t eaten since midday and was just about ready to demolish a plate of chicken and rolls by now.

Walking over to the table she hungrily awaited to get something to eat and was greeted by an…unexpected sight to say the least. Her father talking with some other guy. And both of them were in prisoner attire. That did not bode well…

“-not that I’m against the idea, but why Pride of all place? I’m pretty sure the main ring already has too large a share of assassins for us to make any mark there. Not to mention it’s mostly populated by sinners.”

“Hey, if you wanna make an impact, you gotta set your sights on the big leagues my sniping little friend. Besides, I and Loonie have been meaning to relocate for a while now and-” Blitzo stopped midargument when he finally noticed his daughter walking into the room. With a bright, excited smile he waved her over. “Well, speak of the devil! Loonie! Just in time for dinner! I got your favorites! How was work sweetie?”

Loona shot him an annoyed glare as she sighed. “f*cking damn it, Dad why are you in a jumpsuit? What in Hell did you do this time? And…” She turned towards his guest, who was starting to look a little uncomfortable being there. “I’m sorry, who the f*ck are you?”

The imp couldn’t get a word out before her dad quickly stepped in to answer for him. “Oh, right, forgot my manners. Loonie, this here’s Moxxie. He’s my new buddy, who helped me escape from prison. He’s going to be staying with us for a bit, while we get the new assassination business running.” He then turned to the imp, now named Moxxie, seemingly unaware of his daughter struggling to process the new information. “Moxx, this is my wonderful daughter Loona! I believe I’ve told you about her right?”

“Uh, yes, you’ve been talking about her practically non-stop since we came here,” Moxxie muttered with a slight half-hearted laugh, as he eyed the still confused Loona staring at him. “And yet somehow through all of that, you neglected to mention she was half-hellOUND.”

Moxxie squealed in pain as Blitzo’s hand crushed down on his shoulder in an instant. “That’s not going to be a problem, is it?” his voice changed from cheerful and excited to downright murderous, as he glared down at the imp.

“Wha-no! No, not at all, of course not, I was just taken by surprise is all, honest,” Moxxie answered quickly, trying to pry Blitzo’s hand off his shoulder, while the taller imp continued to scowl murderously at him.

“Good! Cause if you’re expecting to live with us, then that means treating her like a goddamn princess you understand? My Loonie’s been through enough sh*tbags to have to also deal with your judgemental ass breathing down her neck,” Blitzo growled at the small imp, who was suddenly looking very, very scared at the situation. “I find you so much as looking at my daughter with anything other than positive feelings, I swear-”

“Okay, stop. First of all, dad stop trying to kill our dinner guest. I’ve already had to mop up one mess at work today, I don’t need another, especially after hours. Second, can either of you explain to me what the f*ck’s going on?” Loona breathed out frustrated, as she noisily sat down in between the imps, shooting her father an annoyed look.

“Oh, right! Sorry sweetie, just looking out for yah,” Blitzo laughed sheepishly as he apologized and let go of Moxxie; though not before shooting him a pointed ‘I’m watching you’ signal towards the little guy. “Well long story short, my job turned south and I was tossed in the pits for the day, until they sent me my little bunkmate over here. And using one of my genius work escape plans,” Moxx couldn’t help but roll his eyes, as said plan had clearly been a rush job, being basically a shoot-out and bum rush over to one of the guards’ car, resulting in a short chase before they finally outwitted them by hiding in the sewers for an hour, “we managed to outwit those doughnut breathing pigs, swipe some food from your favorite Chinese place and hunker back down here.”

“So, we’re basically on the run from the law again. Great,” Loona groaned exasperated. She still loved her dad but f*ck if she wasn’t getting tired of him constantly dragging them into unnecessary trouble.

“Oh but wait, 'cause it gets even better!” Blitzo declared as he started to become overwhelmed with excitement and joy. “You remember when I proposed we’d go full-time with the assassination business? You know take out that loan, move to Pride, and start that killing business company we’ve talked about there?”

Loona rolled her eyes, upon hearing that. She had secretly hoped her father had dropped that foolish idea. “Yeah, we’ve talked about it three times now. I keep telling you, it wouldn’t work. Even with the loan, we’d barely afford to keep the business running.”

“Until now!” Blitzo sang in delight as he beefed himself up and grinned at this daughter. “I.M.P. is a-go baby!”

“Still not sold on the name…” muttered Moxxie.

“We’re finally getting the company up and running Loonie! Thanks to our new pal Moxxie over here!” He patted the imp on the back, very roughly too, giving him a bit of a shake. “Don’t let his tiny dick-size fool you, Moxx here’s a killer. Claims to be an expert sniper and gun-shooter. Isn’t that right Moxx-Boxx?”

Moxxie didn’t appreciate Blitzo’s derogatory comment, but brushed it aside and confirmed with a nod: “It is true. I’ve been trained since childhood to be proficient in any kind of firearm, gun, rifle, and pistol you can imagine, along with the occasional knife, sword, bat, and other short-ranged weaponry, and I’ve taken lives before so the business wouldn’t be anything new for me.” He tried to sound confident with the last part but seemed to trail off for a moment as he looked to the ground with a forlorn expression. Something that Loona managed to catch.

“And he’s crafty too.” Blitzo interrupted eagerly before Moxxie could continue. “Helped me not only axe off the guards but hotwire the getaway car and plan out our escape root! AND he’s willing to help pay for a good amount of the starting finances, as long as he joins the team. Ain’t that just generous of him? Come on, it’s perfect! He’ll be the sniper, you can be the receptionist/occasional field worker and I’ll be the stunning and super sexy CEO. With the three of us together, we’d be able to take down targets easily, split up for more missions and rank up money easily. It’s brilliant right?”

Blitzo had explained that last part like it was one of his usual crackpot plans. All that was missing was a series of drawings to explain everything in greater detail. By the end of it, he was looking at her all wide-eyed and confident like there was no way it could go wrong. Loona just looked at his goofy, child-like expression for a minute, then let out an exhausted exhale and sat down. “Okay, Dad can I talk to you privately for a moment?” She gave Moxxie the side-eye. “Somewhere without him eavesdropping on us?”

“O-oh, well, if you need privacy, I can wait in the other room until you’re both finished…” Moxxie stammered out nervously, quickly getting off his seat and moving to excuse him from the two. “Nice place you have here by the way.” Loona eyed him as he nervously crept into the nearest room, the bathroom funnily enough, before turning back to Blitzo, who was suddenly looking a bit confused by her mood.

“Dad, please tell me you’re not seriously uprooting our lives here, just cause of some guy you just met,” said Loona like an exasperated mom trying to tell her five-year-old they couldn’t adopt the cute puppy he had found on the street.

Blitzo deflated on the spot. “Aww come on Loonie, don’t be such a downer. I’ve got a good feeling about Moxx! We broke out of jail together, that practically makes us brothers.”

“You barely know the asshole do you?” Loona countered sternly. “Do you even know why they threw him in there in the first place? He could be a serial killer or some sh*t.”

“Ah come on, they don’t put you in jail for that nowadays,” Blitzo dismissed playfully, which only caused Loona to narrow her eyes at him annoyed. “Actually, he didn’t wanna talk about it, or anything regarding his past for that matter. Seemed to get really moody and sad whenever I tried bringing it up, so I just kinda dropped it after a while.” The imp-hound prepared to speak up, only for Blitzo to quickly cut her off, as he started explaining in an excited rapid-fire manner. “But you should’ve seen him on the field Loonie! All he needed was a pistol, and he turned a jail filled with coppers into a pile of corpses. Seriously, I’m talking a Da Vinci of murder, we’d be crazy not to hire this guy!”

“Which is all the more reason for us not to blindly trust him like that!” Loona argued. “A shrimp like him, with that kind of skill, must be hiding something! He’s probably either trying to bait us into a trap or on the run from something, which will no doubt drag us into whatever bullsh*t he’s messed up with,” the imp-hound looked at her father in anger, but also in clear protectiveness of her sole parental figure. “We don’t need that kind of pressure breathing down our necks.”

To her frustration, Blitzo didn’t seem to care that much about the possibility, dismissing it with a wave and a raspberry. “Aww come on Loonie, it’s us! If the worst comes to pass, we can take on Moxxie easily. He may be good with guns, but there’s no way he’d able to take on his badass killer duo.” He gave his daughter a lighthearted punch to the side as he laughed co*ckily; Loona simply rolled her eyes at the obvious flattery. “And even if he’s got some baggage, we’ll f*ck over whatever sh*t he’s dealing with. Probably just some grabby money shark or something; no big.”

“Or it could be the f*cking mafia! We live a few blocks from Notamafia Town. How do we know he’s not in trouble with a gang or something?” she exclaimed coldly.

“HAH!” Blitzo let out a loud bark of a laugh at that. “Come on Loonie, you saw how scrawny he was. You really think he’d be stupid enough to get involved with the mob? Much less join’em?”

“…Okay, fair point. Still don’t trust the guy.” Loona admitted after a pause. A guy like that looked way too skinny and simple to let himself get entangled in mob affairs. “And anyway, saying we go with this, why Pride of All Rings?”

“It’s the biggest Ring and the most populated city in all of Hell!” Blitzo answered nonchalantly. “It’s got hellborn, sinners, plenty of folks who want people all nice and murderized, which we’ll be more than happy to provide.”

“Not to mention Imp City’s rent is criminally low,” Loona guessed bluntly.

“That too,” Blitzo shrugged not denying her claims. “You know we have been talking about moving already. Greed’s got too many bad memories for my liking. Pride’s our big shot at a fresh start. A better future for the both of us.”

“Yeah, bet that’s what a lot of other gullible idiots first thought before moving there,” Loona snarked under her breath, having heard many a tale of imps moving to Pride for the great ‘American Dream’ and that crap, only to end up with nothing.

“Aww don’t be so negative about it Loonie, we’ll be fine!” her father insisted, before sighing, his confident smile turning into a sad frown. “Besides, we need the work. Let’s face it, the entertainment idea’s dead and buried now, so assassination’s all I’ve got left. And shockingly it’s kinda hard being an assassin, when you live in a ring where most deaths are attributed to work-related ‘accidents’ or mafia hits.”

“And you think Pride’s going to be any better? 90% of the people living there are nigh-immortal! Not to mention more bigoted and all the gang wars there. And oh yeah, it’s the first place hit by the f*cking Extermination! Meaning we’d be front and center when those angels f*cker attack!” Loona snapped back in frustration, her patience wearing thin. “What are you trying to get yourself killed or something?”

The sudden unfair questioning, caused Blitzo to flinch in visible pain. A look of horror and hurt emerged on the imp’s face as he looked at his daughter in distraught. “W-what? No! No, baby, of course not, why…why would you think that? I…I just-” The sight alone was making Loona immediately regret the question, but the trembling voice only added to the guilt.

“sh*t! No, no f*ck no! Dad, I’m sorry, I’d never, you know that!” Loona pleaded at once, her ears dropped in sadness, as she reached for her father and pulled him in for a hug. “I’m just worried alright? This is all happening too fast, I just wanna make sure you’re not rushing this. I don’t want to lose you.” she tried to explain through her guilt and sadness, in a soft, sad whisper.

f*ck, she hated fighting with him like this; it always hurt the both of them. Ever since she grew up it felt more and more like they were always fighting about stuff like this. Loona missed the days when she was a kid and could just go along with whatever her dad wanted, but someone needed to make sure they’d both be safe. Especially with how reckless her father could be at times.

They stayed there for a moment before Blitzo pulled himself out of the hug. He didn’t seem as hurt as before, though Loona could still sense some guilt coming from him as he spoke up: “Look, it’s not the perfect plan, but it’s gotta be better than what we’ve got now. I mean the rent in Imp City’s already leagues lower than what we’re paying down here, so that should even things out. There are bound to be plenty of folks who want hellborn killed; at least enough to pay the bills for a while. And so for Extermination Day…we’ll figure something out; get a safe room or go on vacation a week or so before. It’ll be a hard adjustment, but we can make this work. We’ve been through worse right?” He smiled as confidently and lovingly as the imp could at the moment to the distraught but still skeptical imp-hound, seemingly fully believing his words; at least for the moment. “Plus, I did just escape from jail, and the feds are very likely looking for me as we speak so…yeah, would probably be smart for us to get the f*ck out of dodge sooner rather than later.”

His brief attempt at levity and a joke was met with a small snort from Loona, who otherwise looked at him with an unreadable expression. Since growing up, it felt more like she had been the one taking care of her father, making sure he didn’t spend too much on pony dolls or get himself killed out on the field. And while she admitted it was a pain at times, it was worth it to see him safe and happy. But, sometimes there were moments when the damn stubborn bastard just refused to be reasoned with. When he had already made up his mind and refused to be talked down to. Loona could tell, much to her frustration, that this was going to be one of those moments. So after a long silence, Loona made a simple request:

“I wanna talk to him; that Moxxie guy you broke out with,” She frowned and glared at the bathroom, wondering if the new guy was eavesdropping on them through the door. “If we’re going to be working with that creep, I wanna make sure he’s on the up and up. Then maybe I’ll go along with this crazy idea of yours.”

“Say, no more baby girl,” Blitzo nodded then turned towards the bathroom, raising his hand as he shouted: “MOXX! Loona wants to interrogate you! Get over here!”

Their guest awkwardly shuffled out of the bathroom, taking back his seat whereupon the imp-hound immediately looked him down. The imp sat down on his seat under her gaze. “So, short stack, wanna tell me you’re deal here?”

Moxxie blinked and eyed Loona a little confused. “Eh, I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t try to bullsh*t me here dickwad!” she barked at him harshly. “You seriously expect us to believe you’re gungho on working with my dad, after one day? What, just cause you broke out of jail together, you expect me to believe you’re suddenly best buds? What exactly do you want from this?”

Poor Moxxie was already shrinking in his seat, under the hellhound’s harsh interrogation, clearly not expecting the shakedown from how Blitzo described her. The taller imp had to quietly step in and indicate Loona to turn it down a bit, in order for him to finally get a word in. f*ck, today had been a nightmare.

He sighed, debated on whether or not to come fully clean towards them, and answered: “Okay, look I’d rather not get fully into it, but all I want is a job and a fresh start.” He paused for a moment, as his many bad memories started flooding in his mind. Of the mob life, of Chaz, and his father. All things he longed to escape, a hint of venom dripped from his voice as he continued. “I’ve never liked my life in Greed, and now the only friend I thought I had just left me out to dry, so I no longer have a reason to stay.”

“Exactly!” Blitzo added in, standing up for the imp, hoping to get Loona off his back. “Which is why I offered him the job at I.M.P.! He’s great at f*cking bitches and he’s got nowhere else to go. The little guy here could’ve left me to rot back in the cells, but he got me out dick attached and everything. I’d say that deserves a benefit of the doubt.” He nudged her hopefully, his daughter giving him an irritated side-eye before glancing back at Moxxie, who looked at her with a nervous smile.

“I admit assassination isn’t my first choice when it comes to a new job, but I am fully capable and willing to do it if that’s what it calls for. And it’s certainly better than my old life…” Moxxie said, sounding rather forlorn at the last part, which had Loona immediately going skeptical.

“Which was what exactly? Still, haven’t told me, about anything before meeting my dad, buddy,” she narrowed in with accusing scowls.

The imp actually groaned in frustration at that. “I’m not in danger or on the run from someone if that’s what you’re worried about,” claimed Moxxie with a bit of an annoyed grumble. Which was technically true. Likely, word hadn’t gotten out to his father regarding his arrest yet, so it would be a good while before he sent Cleo or worse Alessio out for him… “Trust me, if anything they’re glad to no longer have to deal with me. Bastards always saw me as a shrimp anyways, they probably wouldn’t even notice I’m gone.”

He had said that with such bitterness, as the still-fresh memories started coming. If Loona had noticed she didn’t say. “Awww you hear that Loonie. The guy’s a loser,” Blitzo cooed, as if Moxxie was a cute little puppy, rather than the full-growth, now very miffed imp who was glaring at him rather peeved. “Come on Loonie, can’t we give him a chance? Maybe show him there are folks out there who do care about him? Look at him, we’ve got nothing to worry about. He’s harmless.”

“You just told me not too long ago, he took down half of the guards at your prison,” Loona snarked back in retort.

“Well, it was actually closer to a dozen or so. Your father killed about 5 or so and even then that wouldn’t be half of them. Most prisons in Greed, usually have around 40 guards on standby, in case of a mass arrest or an attempted prison break by the mob. Not that it would be less impressive, as most guards usually have weapons on standby. Either a Baalretta 92 pistol or an RG-35 rifle for luck, and sometimes a Behemoth-type rocket launcher for the bigger ones. Did you know they were actually created in Wrath to take down wild hellffalo hordes, during times of famine and were only later used in military combat for-” Moxxie suddenly started rambling, having gotten caught up in the details, he didn’t notice Loona and Blitzo eying him weirdly, causing him to quickly wrap up with a slightly nervous chuckle. “Hehe, but close enough I suppose.”

‘Good f*ck, this guy’s a dork,’ Loona thought to herself amidst his ramblings. In the span of a few seconds, he had gone from pinpoint correcting her dad to gushing over guns, like a nerd who thought he knew everything about guns because he played Roar of Fealty all day. His accuracy with guns aside, maybe her dad had been right about this guy. He seemed way too much of a nerd to be dangerous, at least for now.

“So, if that’s really it and all you want is a slice of f*cking normalcy, why us? You’re really going to throw everything behind to hang out with some weirdos you’ve just met?” asked Loona suspiciously, still trying to get the feel of Moxxie.

The imp shrugged and answered bluntly. “Like I said, there’s nothing for me here, but bad memories and regrets; painful ones at that. I have nothing to gain from betraying either of you and even if I did, I’d still be stuck in my current position, except having to find a new place to get work. I suppose, if the assassination business doesn’t pan out to my liking, I could always find something else. My mother helped me get into music, and I did once dream of making a living, performing in front of others.” He remembered that brief time with a nostalgic smile, as better memories started to flash.

“Oooh, a fellow showman eh?” Blitzo interrupted with a wide-toothy smirk, wrapping his arm around Moxxie’s shoulder, much to the smaller imp’s discomfort, taking him out of his wishful thinking. “You know I used to be in the circus and stand-up routine? Hey if this whole assassination thing goes puss* up, maybe you and I could make a comeback as a duo. A regular Abf*ck and co*ckstello, heh?”

Moxxie didn’t seem to like the idea, roughly pushing Blitzo’s arm off him as he continued. “Well, like I said, it was only a dream. Speaking realistically, assassination work is more profitable for me at the moment, and well, Blitzo did say he had an opening so why not?” He rhetorically asked with a shrug. “I won’t be a burden to any of you. I’m more than capable of holding myself on the field.”

“All great reasons, he’d be a fine addition to I.M.P., once we get that ball good and rolling!” Blitzo proclaimed in support. “Until then, he can camp out at our place. Take care of some of the chores and cooking when we’re too busy and help unpack after we’ve moved.”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” added Moxxie quickly. “After my part of paying for the office, I should have enough money saved up to get myself an apartment by the end of the month. I can even move out immediately if you’d like.”

“What? No way! You’re staying here as long as you like buddy! It’s the least I can do, after springing me out.” Blitzo insisted warmly. “Come on Loonie, he’s offering to help out with the house and stuff. He’d never have to worry about it getting messy ever again. Isn’t that nice of him?”

“Okay, now you just want a butler to do your chores for you, yah lazy ass,” Loona accused pointedly.

“Can’t it be both?” Blitzo asked humorously, much to his daughter’s irritation and Moxxie’s worry. “Kidding. I was kidding. He knows I was kidding,” the imp added in quickly with a lighthearted laugh, as if it was a joke. Neither was fully convinced.

“…right. Please don’t make those kinds of jokes again, please,” The short imp requested sternly.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to get used to that bud,” Loona dryly droned. “If you wanna work with us, you gotta be expected to put up with a lot of his wit.”

That got Blitzo hopeful. “Oooh, does that mean he’s all good to join?” He asked hopefully. “After all, he’s practically family at this point!”

“Okay, even I wouldn’t go that far,” Moxxie loudly protested. He went ignored, as Blitzo continued.

“Loona, you’ve heard him out, he’s clean as a baby’s chest, as deadly as a fox, and as sweet as a My Little Pony special. I mean he’s been with me this whole time, and never tried anything once!”

“To be fair, we’ve only really been together for about 3-6 hours sir,” said Moxxie with a quick eye roll.

“Hey, what did we say about that word? None of that BS here. If you expect to work for us, we’re going to stick to first names only, got that?” Blitzo protested sternly with a disgusted frown.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Assuming that I can work with you guys at all?” He turned towards Loona looking at the imp-hound, cautiously awaiting her answer.

The hybrid glanced down at the little guy, briefly looking over at her dad, giving her his big puppy dog eyes, that he always used whenever he wanted another expensive pony doll. It was clear he had already grown attached to the new imp, for some reason. Loona still didn’t trust Moxxie; not fully anyway. She doubted he had anything malicious planned for them or that he was lying about his intentions, but there was clearly some more stuff going on that he’d left out. There was no way he could be that good without some skeletons in the closet.

But, her father did have some fair points. Rent in Greed was getting more costly by the year, and it was about time they moved anyway. Still wasn’t sold on Pride, but she supposed there were worse Rings to move to. Plus, for as good as the pipsqueak claimed to be, she was sure she and her father could handle him or whatever he was running from. Maybe this was a risk worth taking. After a while of thinking on the matter, and weighing the pros and cons, Loona finally made her decision.

“Fine. You can work with us,” she agreed with a short nod to Moxxie.

The imps both breathed a sigh of relief before Blitzo started to cheer and prepared to pull the both of them in for a hug “Alright! It’s official, the Immediate Murder Professionals are a go. Come over here fam”

“BUT!” Loona interrupted holding Blitzo back by the face, literally keeping him at arm’s length as she continued, as the Imp-Hound gave Moxxie one last piercing, serious glare “If for whatever reason your baggage comes back to bite us, or I start thinking you’re backstabbing us, I’ll make you regret ever setting foot onto our lives. Understand pipsqueak?”

Moxxie looked taken aback by the sudden threat, but after a beat, he nodded calmly. “Fair enough. I’ll do my best to earn your trust. In the meantime though, I appreciate you accepting me.”

That seemed to be enough for Loona as she let out a tired breath. “Good.” With that, she let go of Blitzo, who immediately went for the hug, which made the already nervous Moxxie more uncomfortable. Loona didn’t protest though, in fact, she worked up her first genuine smile of the evening.

“Oh don’t you worry Loonie-Toonie, I know I’ll get you to warm up to Pride and Moxx before you know it,” Blitzo assured her with a teasing grin. Despite her long day, Loona couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Now can we eat already?” asked Loona exasperated, reaching towards the now lukewarm spring rolls. “I just spent 9 hours at retail hell, listening to Karens, sh*tty coworkers, and whiny babies. I’m ready to tear apart a whole chicken at this point.”

“Hah! That’s my girl!” Blitzo cheered, getting himself some of the rice mixtures and a trio of cold cans of beer from the fridge. He tossed one each towards the other two, Loona catching hers with ease, while Moxxie fumbled around a bit with his, before managing to grab a hold of it. “Let’s have a toast! To the Immediate Murder Professionals striking it BIG in Pride!”

The three of them clicked their cans together, to signify their new partnership and their uncertain but hopefully bright future.

And when Blitzo and Moxxie went to open their cans, they were greeted by the shaken-up contents splashing their faces wet, much to their disgust. Loona watched them cry with an amused smirk, rolling her eyes as she put the beer aside for now and helped herself to some of the chicken and rolls.

As she ate, she didn’t pay attention to Moxxie, as he was cleaning himself up from the sticky drink soaking up his face. As he looked over the father/daughter duo, he couldn’t help but begin to feel comfortable around them. They were certainly an…interesting duo, the imp especially, but despite the earlier tension, he had hopes he could get used to it.

Chapter 8: Imp-Pup: The Babysitter

Chapter Text

“What do you mean, you’ve gotta cancel?!” Blitzo asked, infuriated on the phone. “No, I can’t wait until next Saturday; this is my job, not some weekend plans! Oh please, like anyone in Greed’s going to offer paid days off. No you know what? Fine, I don’t need you anyway. I already have a better babysitter in mind, who’s way cheaper and not some last-minute canceling asshole like you! So f*ck you, yah co*ckbite! And tell your brother he looks like a hipster!” The imp smashed his phone after ending the call, taking a moment to calm down, before quietly cursing to himself, upon realizing he had thoroughly severed bridges with his regular babysitter. “…f*ck, why did I do that?”

sh*t, there was no way, he was going to find a babysitter this late. His weekend work day was tomorrow, and with the kid’s center down for repairs, there was no one available to look after Loona; the young toddler currently playing by his living room, briefly attempting to stand up on her legs, before tumbling down.

Blitzo tiredly rubbed his face, trying to figure out what to do. He wasn’t going to be able to look after his young daughter AND do his shift at the same time; at least not in a manner that wouldn’t most likely get him fired. The weekend was the busiest time at the Park and everyone was expected to go above and beyond for their customers, all so that Mammon could earn a few measly bucks. But without any available babysitters or at least ones that weren’t just secret pedophiles or likely to do something with his hybrid daughter, Blitzo was out of options.

He racked his brain trying to think of someone, anyone, who he could trust with this…and then one person came to mind.

It was the best and seemingly only option he had. But…would it work? Would they even agree to it? It had been years since they last saw each other and honestly, Blitzo doubted they would even care to talk to him after all this time. Much less agree to this ridiculous scheme.

But, what other choices did he have? He had to think of his daughter and if all went well, this was probably the best option, amongst a flood of risky or dumb ideas.

So, biting down the bullet and collecting his things, Blitzo picked up his daughter and steeled himself up for the awkward reunion with someone he hadn't seen in years.

“Ms. Barbie Wire? It’s your brother, he’s here to visit you.”

The female imp scoffed. “Very funny, Mira…” She turned in her bed and faced the wall blankly, mocking the idea. Her bastard of a twin hadn’t bothered enough to check up on her in years. Not since, he had tried to apologize for abandoning her at the circus never to come back for her. Not for a small visit, no phone calls, not even a Satan damned letter! He just left her with the bastard that called himself her father, who made her into his money-making monkey, doing stuns and performances like an idiot all so he could milk her til she was dry, til she had run out of use.

At least Fizzy had visited her at times, making sure she was okay. Her deadbeat brother couldn’t even manage that until it was too late. When her fame died, and all she had left was the bottle and drugs to keep her spirits. Until she nearly overdosed and had to be sent to rehab for ‘rebuilding’. As if they actually gave two sh*ts about her, and not simply using her to boost up attention for their center, by exploiting her. Now all she had left was a rundown room that was barely an apartment, covered with posters with bullsh*t messages like: Hang In There Sexy, and Winners Don’t Not Quit Drugs!

She could still remember the day when the little coward finally wormed up the courage to see her again. Oh, how she had screamed at him for abandoning her, for forgetting about her, not once lifting a finger to help her out when she needed him most, after everything they had been through together. The smashed-up chair, the orderlies restraining her, one of them tasing him when he tried to reach out and the devastated look on his face when she demanded he never come to see her again. It had felt so damn good…at the time anyway. There was no way he was coming back after that.

“Yeah, trust me, sis, I wish it was a joke too.”

…Well f*ck her in the ass. She turned and there he was. Big brother Blitzo, standing there with an unsure smile, and a baby carrier of all things, clearly having no idea what to say or do.

Barbie took a good long look, making sure she wasn’t seeing things…and then scowled murderously. “Oh, you’ve got to be f*cking kidding me! The f*ck are you doing here Blitz?! And where the hell is security?”

“Heh, managed to get the drop on them for once. Shouldn't be waking until I’m gone,” Blitzo couldn’t help but be a little proud of himself for that. “And, what can't a guy visit his recovering twin sister, and hopefully reconnect after being gone so long? Hopefully without you tossing another chair at my face?”

Barbie answered with a bitter snort and a sneer. “Oh I’m sorry, was the fractured skull and black eye not a good enough answer for you? Or do I need to throw something bigger this time, for you to finally take a hint?”

Blitzo cringed at that, any good mood snapped by his twin’s malicious gaze. “Look, Barb, I’m sorry I haven’t called or written for so long. I’ve just been busy and scared-”

Barbie’s sarcastic laughter cut him off right on the spot. “That’s what you think I’m upset about?!” She asked with a sharp, mocking grin, before staring daggers at her brother. “Not hearing from your traitorous mouth, has been the only GOOD thing about living in this miserable sh*thole! But of course, you just can’t help, but ruin another good thing for me, can you? This is exactly why, I have everyone here making sure you can't get in. All you’ve ever done is f*ck things over for me since we were kids! And after everything, the least you could do now is to stay out of my life.”

Her angry rant brought the already ashamed Blitzo even further down. So much so, he didn’t even notice the stir inside his harness. “Barbie, please, I just wanna talk, maybe try and-”

“SAVE IT, BLITZ!” Barbie seethed at her brother, as she marched right up to him, her finger poking his carrier, causing its small passenger to stir. “I thought I made myself clear last time, but I guess I gotta tell you again. I don’t want to see you again. Not now. Not EVER! And no bullsh*t apology or anything is ever. Going. To change-

Pop!

Whatever she was going to say next, died out as a tiny figure finally popped her head of the carrier. Barbie looked down at the fuzzy, scaly, dog thing that started yawning and looking over the place with an infantile curiosity.

“What, the f*ck is that?”

“Uh…congratulations, you’re an auntie!”

It took the female imp a long while to process the information, the gears turning in her head, lines connecting one by one until it finally registered for her. She exclaimed in stunned outrage: “You’ve got to be f*cking kidding me! Someone actually had sex with you?! And it was a hellhound of all things?!”

“Hey, you watch your mouth around my little Loonie, okay? She's very sensitive!” Blitzo shouted back in a brief instant of parental protectiveness, covering his daughter's ears up at his sister's cursing, before chuckling embarrassed, and making introductions. “But, yeah, Barb meet my darling daughter Loona. Loonie, say hello to your aunt and my twin sister…Barbie Wire.”

Barbie looked at the hybrid, still not fully buying that this was real. Loona looked back, confused for a moment…then giggled and cooed innocently and reached out for her aunt.

The imp watched her niece struggle for a bit, then sneered at the child, glaring back at Blitzo, as if the baby wasn’t even there. “So what? You think that changes anything? Did you really try to use your own baby as an excuse to see me again?” A cruel snort echoed from her bitter throat. “Exploiting your children for your own selfish needs? You really are Dad.”

“Hey, that’s not-” Blitzo began, but then struggled to find the right words to counter Barb's bitter, yet painfully close-to-home jab. “I-I just thought you’d like to meet the newest member of our family and let Loona know she’s got an auntie out there.”

“The newest member huh?" Barbie repeated the words in mockery, as she loured at Blitzo with ire. "So what, you’re just replacing Mom with some bastard from a one-night stand? Did she really mean THAT little to you?”

“Don't you f*cking dare-” Blitzo nearly lost it at that, sending Barbie an equally furious scowl, before forcing himself to calm down, remembering why he was here. He didn't want to sour things with Barb any more than he already had. “That's not what I'm trying to do here; honest, I just wanted to see my sister again. And for her to get a chance to see her niece-”

“Yeah, well mission accomplished, I’ve met the little sh*t and you’ve seen me," Barbie said completely unimpressed with a roll of her eye, giving Loona a passing glance and her twin a mocking sneer. "There happy? Now f*ck out of my sight already.”

Barbie turned to leave, but her brother grabbed her shoulder, even as her body tensed at the sudden touch. “Barb, wait, wait, just one more thing before you go," Blitzo pleaded almost desperately, for a moment not because of Loona, but not to lose her again. Thankfully, while she was giving him the mother of all death glares, Barb seemed to be listening. So Blitzo continued…in the most lame and awkward way possible. “I uh…I don’t suppose you’d mind watching Loona for a while. Like, say the rest of the day, while I’m out at work?”

Barbie stared at her twin’s weak smile, slowly putting the pieces together, her frown turning positively disgusted in betrayal, as she let out a small bitter chuckle: “And here I thought, you actually wanted to see your sister again, rather find another way to use her. So that’s what this is all REALLY about huh?” The female imp scowled down at her twin, as Blitzo started to fold like a weak house of cards. “Can’t look after your own daughter, so you’re pawning her off to someone else? Why in hell am I not surprised? When you need something, suddenly you remember other people than you exist! And when they start to piss you off you throw them all away! And here I had an inkling that maybe you had changed after all.”

The now cringing Blitzo was unable to fight against her sister's allegations. He just sighed, looked down at Loona in her carrier, and sighed: “Look, this is a pretty last-minute decision and I’m pretty much out of options. Babysitter canceled, I can’t bring her to work and if I call in sick, I know they’re gonna fire my ass. f*ck knows my boss’ already looking for an excuse. Please, Barbie, I know I f*cked up but we need you right now.”

She just glared back at her hopeful brother completely unimpressed. “I'm sorry, was that supposed to convince me to change my mind? Cause let me tell ya, it ain’t working! All I’m hearing is all the great reasons NOT to do this.”

Blitzo recoiled at that, as Barb started shoving him out of her apartment, despite his struggle to talk to her. “Barbie, please, you’re literally the only person I trust with taking care of my Loona! I do wanna see you again, but-”

“Yeah? Well, too bad. That ship sailed and crashed into the iceberg years ago,” Barb growled, refusing to even look at him anymore, as she finally managed to push him and his still ignorant daughter out of her room. “Good luck finding a sitter desperate enough to handle you Blitzo! f*ck knows you’ll have your work cut out for you.”

“Barb, wait!” Blitzo tried one last, thinking of one thing that could possibly get her to agree. With a torn yet desperate frown, he cried out: “L-look, if you do this for when then…then I’ll do it. I’ll leave you alone when I’m done."

Barb stopped; the door only centimeters away from closing, when he made her that promise. She opened up the door, just enough to glare at her twin skeptically. "Go on…"

Blitzo, while relieved that he had managed to get through to her, still frowned defeatedly as he continued: "I won’t visit you, I won’t try to reach out, I won’t bother with texts or calls or letters, and you’ll never hear from me again. Just…please, help me here.”

Barbie went silent, as she thought over the offer. f*ck, it was tempting. She’d never have to see her brother again? And all she had to do was take care of his snot-nosed baby for a few hours. Seemed too good to be true; meaning it probably was, and he’d go stalking her when he felt lonely again. But on the slightest chance that he was serious…

There was only one way to make sure. With a glare, Barb demanded one more condition from her brother, as she pointed at him. “Swear it. Swear it on our mom’s grave!”

She had poked him right at the choker around his neck, the one once belonging to his mother. Blitzo looked absolutely devastated by the request and for a moment there, he had almost considered refusing, when he heard Loona, one of the only two blood families that he had left. softly cooing at him in worry, seemingly noticing the tense atmosphere. Remembering his promise from almost a year back, Blitzo painfully sighed and nodded. “I swear on my mother’s grave if you do this one thing for me…I’ll leave you alone for as long as you want me to.”

Barbie silently stared into his eyes, trying to find some kind of deceit. She knew that her brother would never go back on a promise made in his mother’s name but then again…with how much time had changed, perhaps even that had been taken.

When she found nothing of the sort, Barb let out an annoyed exhale and nodded: “Fine then. You better be back on time, or I’m throwing her out the garbage.”

Despite the serious promise made, Blitzo sighed in relief and couldn’t be more thankful for his twin, as he handed her his little daughter. “Oh thank Satan, seriously Barbie, you have no idea what she means to me. Here, I’ll pick her up by 6 PM at the latest.”

Barbie rolled her eyes at that like her brother would pick now to stick to simple promises, as she took the little Loonie from him. “Yeah right, sure you will. Now will you-” She was cut off as he then dropped a heavy-looking carrier bag onto her feet and started rattling off instructions like he had 10 seconds to live.

“Alright, here’s her stuff. I brought about 10 extra diapers just in case, some baby powder, and plenty of wipes. If she starts moving too much during the changing, give her the pacifier, which should keep her occupied. Baby food’s in the back pocket and I brought four types. She usually eats every four hours or so, make sure you give her formula too and in case she gets picky the order is carrot, banana, blueberry, and bacon. Front pocket's got her favorite toys: her horses, a jingly ball, a fetch ball, a rattle, some blocks, and her little bunny. Loonie’s very active at this age so you’re gonna wanna give her a big playtime so she’ll be more ready for naptime. Speaking of which, she’ll only sleep with her bunny and favorite blankie, which is in the left pocket, so just have those on standby and try to be quiet if she starts looking tired. In fact, try to keep the loud noises to a minimum, she’s gonna get restless if there’s too much.” Blitzo finally took a long, tired breath at the end of that, Barbie looking at him in a mix of confusion and shock at the detailed instructions her brother had put into all of this, while little Loonie just hung from her hands and giggled obliviously at her daddy. “Other than that, just try to keep an eye on here, make sure she’s not anywhere dangerous and-f*ck I’M LATE!”

He gave his daughter a quick peck on the forehead, and a small hug to the still-shocked Barbie, then bolted out of the building before she could curse at him one last time. “Thanks, Barb! See you soon Loonie. Have fun with your auntie now!”

Barbie watched as her twin brother disappear from her life almost as bluntly as he had reentered it. Once he was out of her sight, she looked at the little Loona, now held in her outstretched arms, while the tiny imp-pup babbled and reached out to grab her. The imp narrowed her eyes in annoyance. “Alright brat, let’s just get through yeah? And at least try to be a good niece for your auntie and keep yourself clean, got it?”

Little Loona giggled a bit, then started cringing and squirting her legs up. Barbie, immediately realizing what was about to happen, drew her hands back immediately with a disgusted shriek, dropping the poor baby before grabbing her by the tail midair. With an irritated grumble, she walked into the bathroom, already regretting this ridiculous decision.

So far, the only good thing to happen today, was she had been able to get a break from her activities. The nurses agreed that it would be beneficial to her health if she finally spent more with her family and connected with others for a change. Gullible sh*ts.

“Gaah, what the f*ck do you want?” Barbie exclaimed at Loona, as the annoying little brat continued tugging at her tail, while she was trying to read her magazines. “I turned the damn TV on for you, didn’t I? What you don’t like the channel or some sh*t? I swear you’re just as spoiled as my brother.”

Grumbling she grabbed the remote and changed the channel again, hoping this time it would appease the hybrid hellion. She had already tried the baby channel, then the cooking one, the animal one, the action movies, and now finally horror. Babies were supposed to be stupid right? Just plop them in front of a picture box, and they’d watch it til they fell asleep; that was the unspoken rule of parenting. Boom, easiest babysitting gig ever.

But this pesky annoying f*cker, wouldn’t stop bothering her even for a second, as if the TV wasn’t even in the room. She didn’t even have time to return to the magazine before the little sh*t started tugging and playing with her tail again, as if it was a little doggy toy, grinding the imp's gear like salt. With a pissed-off groan, Barbie glared down at the imp-pup. “f*cking damn it! What in Hell will it take for you to leave me alone in peace?”

Little Loona cooed excitedly at the newfound attention, her impish tail wagging like a puppy, and crawled over to one of her father’s horse dolls, picked it up, and reached it out towards Barbie, as if wanting to give it to her auntie as a present.

“Oh, so you wanna play with me, is that it?” Barbie asked, all innocently and sweetly, looking at the horsie Loona was handing her, the pup babbling excitedly at the attention. Barb roughly knocked the horse out of the baby's hands with a dismissive grunt. “Tough! Just cause I’m babysitting you doesn’t mean, I have to spoil you, yah rotten brat. Now leave your auntie alone already, got it?”

She returned to her magazine hoping she had managed to get rid of the pest problem. She had not, as Loona just went back to playing with her tail, much more vigorously than before, as if her dismissal had only riled up her determination. Barbie did her best to ignore it, hoping the brat would eventually stop, til the Loonie suddenly went from tugging to biting.

CHOMP!

“ARGH! Motherf*ckER!” Barbie tried to yank her tail out of the pup’s grip, only for her to dig her paws and hooves in and pull back. Barbie was now in massive pain and absolutely fuming; the brat was using her tail in a game of f*cking tug-of-war! A Satan damned painful game of tug-of-war at that. Whenever she tried ripping her tail out of her teeth, Loona would pull back sending waves of pain to the stressed-out imp. After 2 minutes, the little lizard dog finally let go with Barb clutching her tail in pain. The hellion just let out a small innocent laugh.

The imp lost what little patience she had had, as she turned blood red in fury. Growling she glared down at her niece with murder in her eyes. “That f*ckING does it! I don’t care if you’re my niece or not, I’M GONNA-” Barbie stopped herself when a pair of nurses walked past her room, stopping to inspect her and Loona right as she was about to kill an infant. Almost immediately she switched gears, forced a loving smile, and gave the little one a big ol’ hug. “I’m gonna hug you, and kiss you, and love you, 'cause you’re my favorite niece in the whole wide world.”

The nurses smiled and nodded to each other, impressed by her supposed love as Barb showered little Loona with kisses until they left her alone. At which point, Barbie frowned and dropped the tiny infant back on the floor. “Annoying little sh*t,” she grumbled as she looked down at the imp-hound, wrapping her tail around her waist, far away from the Loona’s mouth, who was still hopeful that she’d play with her this time. Barb just sneered back annoyed.

“For the love of Satan, I already told you, I ain’t playing with you yah brat! Just go play by yourself, you’ve got plenty of stuff as is.” She motioned to all the many toys, balls, and equipment Blitzo had left her, now scattered around the floor with no care or reason; but it seemed Loona just didn't want to play unless it was with her new aunt. Frustrated, Barbie grabbed the nearest toy she could find, Loona’s bunny, and tossed it across the room. “Here, go fetch and play with this, doggo!”

She had figured Loona, being part dog and all, would simply chase right after it and divide her attention, maybe even bring it back, like a regular game of fetch. Instead, the little tyke watched her favorite bunny tossed away from her; then her lips started quivering, her ears dropped and she began whining which was slowly beginning to morph into a loud cry. Barbie watched this all unfold, and started panicking. “Oh f*ck, no! Nononono! Don’t cry! Don’t you f*cking dare!”

“WwwwwwWWWWAAAAA-”

Loona’s tears were halted before they could get worse, as a terrified Barbie had run to get the doll back and practically showed it into her mouth before the waterworks had begun. Barbie looked at her niece, dreading that she might start crying again, but Loona just spat out her doll, giggled, and then tried AGIAN to play with her aunt. Sending Barb into a LONG fit of pissed-off groaning and cursing as she had finally given up.

“Fine, you wanna play? If it keeps those chompers off my tail or stops the damn waterworks, here! Get the ball!”

Barbie grabbed the nearest toy, the jingly ball beside the imp-pup, and tossed it across the room, almost clean through the wall cracking the pain, causing a large crack. And thankfully, the little runt started chasing after it, finally leaving her alone. Barb smirked in satisfaction, as she returned to her magazine. Now she could relax while tossing a ball a few times, til the runt tired herself out. Then she’d be-

RRRRIP! SMACK!

“GAH! Mother f*cker, what the-?” Barbie exclaimed as the ball tore through the magazine and hit her square in the forehead, taking her completely by surprise. Once she recovered, she robbed the spot where she had been hit, picked up the ball, and heard a delighted giggle on the other end of the room. Little Loona, sat there excitedly, as if expecting her to toss it again.

“You sneaky little-” Barbie seethed in growing anger. Since when could toddlers throw like that? Was that a hybrid thing or a hellhound thing? Either way, it was pissing her off. “Oh, you want the ball? You want the ball? You want the f*cking ball huh?” She asked in mock kindness, before throwing it back at Loona, even harder than before.

And with no effort, Loona caught it right between her teeth; didn’t even seem phased by how rough it had been thrown. Honestly, Barb was a little impressed; She didn’t expect a toddler to be so strong for her age. It had left her so stunned, she barely had time to think, as the infant tossed the ball right back at her.

“sh*t!” Barb reared out of the ball’s path, catching it with her left hand, and tossed it up in the air, her old circus reflexes coming back suddenly, as she effortlessly caught it with her right, like a juggler. The sudden stunt caused little Loona to giggle and tumble in amusem*nt. Barbie just rolled her eyes and tossed the ball back to the baby, who once more caught it and threw it right back. Barb, almost instinctively caught it with her tail, the appendage curling it into a ball, before tossing it upwards catching in with her one hand and then with her other, causing another fit of laughter from the brat. Just like how she used to, whenever she was practicing for her big act. Upon realizing this, Barbie cursed herself for accidentally slipping into habits, throwing it back to Loona with little to no enthusiasm.

This time, however, Loona didn't toss it at herself, but rather up in the air. Whereupon she tried to catch it with her hands or even her tail. Each time missing her catch by a good mile, even as she kept on trying Barbie watched her go at it, trying to figure out what was going on. Was the brat…trying to juggle? Seemed like it, and man was the brat doing a sh*t job of it. Downright insulting really.

"Oh knock it off will ya? Your little baby arms ain't strong enough for joggling yet. Besides, you're supposed to do it like this." She grabbed the ball midair, and effortlessly began joggling it between her hands, and occasionally her tail. Little Loona just watched her go in awe, laughing and clapping as it went on like it was some kind of magic trick. Her aunt snorted at how easily impressed she was, though with a faint, almost playful smirk: “Yeah, figures a brat like you would’ve liked basic sh*t like that. Let me show you something really impressive.”

With a flick of her tail, Barbie grabbed the other ball on the floor, throwing it up in the air alongside the other. Without looking she easily caught both, much to Loona’s surprise and delight. Her smirk grew wider as she effortlessly joggled the two balls, slowly adding more toys to her act: the blocks, the rattle, the horses, and even the little bunny doll. Soon Barb was joggling the entire set of toys with absolute mastership, even after years of no practice, while Loona watched on both in childlike wonder and awe, at the incredible feat her aunt was pulling off. Meanwhile, Barb was just thankful her niece wasn’t trying to force her into more playtime.

Barbie kept up her routine for a good while, before finally catching all the items with her hands and tail, and finishing it off with a showman-like bow, as if she was back at the circus. Loona laughed in absolute joy, clapping her hands and cheering in her baby manner, as Barb smiled proudly at herself. f*ck…that had felt good. Years later and she still had it in her. She hadn’t performed like that since she and Blitzo…

Her good mood soured almost immediately, as the memories returned. Of what happened to them that painful day. When he had stabbed her in the back after all she had done for him.

With a bitter sneer, she kicked most of the toys away from her, sat down on her couch with crossed arms, and a frustrated pout at how easily she had been suckered back into that world. All the while Loona kept on babbling and clapping, looking at her hopefully, as if asking for another round. That only made Barb feel worse. “Show’s over kid.” With a dispassionate grumble, she picked up the ball and tossed it toward Loona, the two playing catch til it was time to eat. Barbie made it a point to show no more tricks, despite how much it disappointed little Loona.

Barbie returned from Lunch in a pissed-off mood. It had been the usual platter of healthy sh*t they got every Tuesday, without one measly piece of dessert anywhere all week. And she knew those greedy nurses were hogging all of the brownies back at the cafeteria. Probably only gave them to the patients desperate enough, to exchange favors for them, the sick bastards. And of course, she had to feed her niece during it too, and her annoying rehab buddies wouldn’t stop pestering her with questions, all of them naturally assuming she was her’s and even trying to get the nurses to call the news, to report on the scandalous daughter of Barbie Wire.

So one messy, bloody food fight later, the imp returned to her room, plumping down onto the couch just wanting to relax, little Loona on her chest. Barbie stared at the ceiling for a good ten minutes before eventually dozing off into a nap, the hellpup having already tuckered in ahead of her.

Barb didn’t know how long it had been when she had finally woken up by some weird weight on her forehead. She swatted her hands at it, thinking it was just a fly or something, only to be greeted by a series of soft giggles, her hand hitting fuzzy fur which then touched her head right dead-center. Right, where her old birthmark was.

Her eyes snapped open and she immediately growled at whoever was touching it, ready to tear them apart. Only to find little Loona staring back, awake and eyeing her forehead. The imp narrowed her eyes in annoyance, grabbing Loona by the armpits and pulling her as far away from the mark as possible unamused. “Ugh, you can’t leave me alone for a second, can’t you, yah brat? The least you could do is keep those fingers to yourself. My head is NOT a toy you-”

Loona let out a small string of babbling in response, her young paw stretching out towards Barbie’s forehead, right towards her covered-up birthmark. At first, she had figured the damn toddler was just trying to touch it again, but then she noticed her niece had a mark right between her eyes; the same as her brother and her own. “So, you have it too huh?” Barbie quietly asked, her anger evaporated as she turned suddenly somber at the thought. She shouldn’t be surprised but still, she hated seeing it again. And on another person. Especially one so young. “Guess, you haven’t seen many imps with that there birthmark, besides my brother huh? Well, you can count yourself lucky for that. It ain't something you want.”

Loona didn’t respond, she just kept reaching out towards it, like a moth to a flame, completely ignorant of her aunt’s tune. Barb shook her head, then out of the blue asked: “You wanna know how we got it?” The tiny imp-puppy didn’t respond other than a soft yip, which Barbie took as a sign of approval.

Placing the small child on her lap, she stroked her head as she recounted the tale, with a melancholic sigh. “Folks have been wondering for years whether it’s supposed to be some weird birthmark or just a tattoo. Truth is, it’s both.”

An almost nostalgic smile emerged as she thought back to innocent years long past, thinking back to when her mother and father had told her the same tale, one of the few decent childhood memories she had left. “See it all started way, way back, with my great-great-grandfather; Chuckle Buckzo. He was born a real sickly kid, nearly dying moments after leaving the womb and killing his mom during labor. Despite that, the big weird thing about him was the strange birthmark on his forehead; doctors never saw anything like it. Freaked them the hell out, along with his dickass family and every other dumbass in Hell. But despite this and his frail little body, your great-great-great-grandpappy was a good man. Kind, charitable, hardworking, who only ever wanted to entertain and make people laugh. But because of his health and the freaky birthmark, nobody wanted to humor him. Said he was destined to fail.”

“When Chuck was old enough, he finally left his Wrath home of abusive, greedy, selfish assholes who thought he owed them everything cause they were family,” venom dripped from Barbie’s mouth at the mention of that word, “to try and finally pursue his comedy routine in Pride. But again, nobody wanted him cause Hell’s filled with bigoted, classists f*ckers. Never lost hope though; he kept on at it and on the way, made friends with other struggling and mocked wannabe performers, all of whom Hell had labeled as freakshows. Eventually, Chuckle got an idea. If everyone only saw them as freaks, why not embrace it? Create a whole show where people can watch them act and then be amazed when it turned out, they were actually genuinely talented!

“And thus was born, the extravagant and bedazzling, Buckzo Family Circus! The greatest gathering of the most bizarre, talented, and wondrous displays throughout the rings of Hell. Everyone even decided to get tattoos like Chuckles as a sign of unity, all of them declaring themselves family, despite their differences and not sharing blood. And it worked! Demons from across the Rings showed up to mock and instead, they clapped, laughed, and cheered at the displays of the various imps performing acts unlike any other, with old Chuckle the Ringleader and head clown being the star attraction. Everyone loved him. His jokes, his personality, his charm, how he could make everyone smile." For once Barbie's smile turned genuine, at the thought of the imp. How she and Blitzo had been inspired by tales of the circus' founder, which lead them to want to join in the family business so young, much to their father's greedy delight and despite their mother's now understandable protests. All they wanted was to make people laugh and smile, just as Great-Grand Papy Chuck used to; how f*cking naive they were back then… "But despite all the fame and money, he never let it get to his head, or forget what was really important. Family.”

Again, the word had a few drips of resentment to it, as bad memories start to emerge. Barbie’s smile turned into a cold growl, something Loona quickly noticed the imp-pup letting out a small concerned coo, as her aunt continued. “Yeah, Blitzo loved the old guy. Said he wanted to be just like him back when he was a toddler. Unfortunately, Great-Great-Grandpapy’s health was the death of him, as he passed away at the young age of 38. But not without leaving an heir, in the form of a son, Joker, with the same mark on his head as his old man. His wife did her best to keep the circus up and running until the son could come of age, but without Chukle, people started losing interest. Without his star power drawing them in, the circus started fading in popularity and fame. After 16 years of steady decline, it nearly crashed and burnt up completely, until Joker finally became Ringleader.”

“Everyone was celebrating the rise of The Son of Chukle the Gutpucher! Demons were clamoring to see how the legacy would continue. Was quite a surprise when Joker’s humor was a lot more…morbid than ol’ Chuckle's. Think of a dark joke, and he had one ten times as bleak; including his infamous rendition of the aristocrats. That goose-voiced comic Gottfried would’ve washed his tongue with soap if he ever heard.” Barb couldn't help but chuckle as she thought back to when she had first heard about it. Perhaps that was where her hack twin had gotten his humor from. “But, somehow it worked. Whether it be the absurd level of his jokes or his devilish charm, people liked Joker and soon the Circus became popular again. At first, Joker was real humble about it, but over time success got to his head. Started caring more about the money and less about the team. Eventually, he started to become a REAL asshole behind the stage.”

Barbie's narration turned colder as she went on. “As his fame grew, He started doing whatever he could to further it along. It started small, with him taking more of the spotlight, saying that they were relying on him to keep the circus going, and keeping some of the profits for himself as a bonus for his hard work. Asshole almost put Mammon to shame, throwing his other circus mates under the bus and treating them more like burdens than people, including the ones who were there from the start, just for his own f*cking benefit. Treated them like sh*t, cause he knew they had nowhere else to go. If they tried to leave, he would sue them to oblivion or guilt trip them into staying, reminding them of their promise to always stick together. That they were a family, all because of this!” She pointed to the birthmark, now covered with a carved-out X.

“His son was even worse. While Joker at least started out as a good kid who eventually soured, Grandpa Mor was a dick from the moment he left the womb. Didn’t even pretend to be nice to anyone, caring about one thing only. The money. So much so, that he started cutting back on safety measures, practice time, and everything else he deemed unnecessary spending. It saved him a lot of cash…and caused a f*ck ton of more accidents and sometimes death. To make matters worse, he wasn’t even f*cking funny! Or talented. Eventually, he stepped down from his clown act to take up the mantle of Ringmaster full-time, letting everyone else do the dirty work.”

Her cold tune, turned more bitter and angrier as she went on, as memories of her time started pouring in, reminding Barbie of the hellhole she used to live in, causing Loona to grow increasingly uneasy and even frightful at her aunt's sudden mood. “Bled the circus dry. Fewer performers wanted to work with him, he couldn’t afford to repair the tents, they had to sell off or eat most of their animals, the few workers he had left were barely getting by and every day it looked like they were about to close. And then, he passed it off, to the worst, greedy asshole of the bunch. My asshole dad," Barb's voice started growing deathly cold at the mention of her father, Her hands tightened into fists, as her claws dug so deep into her palm, she nearly drew blood. "By the time Cash took over, the Buckzo Family Circus was a shell of what it once was. And now it had been handed off to another rotten apple. One so controlling and petty, he made the tattoo mandatory! Before it was optional, and everyone could decide to simply have it be make-up. But now? If you worked in the circus even remotely, you had to get the tattoo. Didn’t matter with you were a grown-up, an old guy, or a f*ckING KID!”

Barb slammed her other fist against her couch, causing Loona to cry out and burst into frightened tears. Barb ignored her for a bit, too caught up in her past, she didn't even register the crying until Loona started burying herself against her chest. Her angry rant died, as she shifted focus over to her crying niece. Barb looked at her young niece with concern at her state and went right to trying and calm her down with soft coos and calm rocking. It took a great deal of effort, including wrapping the baby in her blanket and giving Loonie her doll, but her tears stopped eventually. Barbie continued her rage now just a cold mutter. “It was his way of showing that he owned you. That as long as you had that mark, you would always be a part of the circus…and belonged to him. Turned it from a symbol of unity into a f*cking slave brand!” She looked back at Loona's mark, the pup now calm and looking at her aunt curiously. She just sighed and shook her head. “Not that it mattered. After he became ringleader, he only lasted for 20 years or so, before he burnt up like the bastard he was, taking the whole circus with him. Yah ask me, he got off easy…”

She looked back down at Loon with an almost melancholic smile, as she lifted her by the arms and held her to eye level, a contemplating look on her face, as she look at her niece. The first Buckzo in years not born to the circus. “Guess that makes you the lucky one in this crumbling circus of a family. You might still have the mark of a Buckzo, but you don’t have to live under a hellhole because of it; you get a fresh start to be whoever the f*ck you wanna be. And all you gotta worry about is your daddy either using you too or abandoning you if start hogging all your spotlight,” She said the last part with decades-old destain and resentment, as she thought back to her brother. Blitz, whom she thought she could trust almost her whole life, whom she had done her best to help throughout his career. And who had betrayed and abandoned her after one stupid, pointless argument, leaving her to care only for himself.

And then, she found out he had a daughter. One whom he risked his entire relationship with his sister for, just to make sure Loona was okay. Whom he actually seemed to love more than anything. It made her sigh, as she looked at her niece, still reaching for her birthmark. “But…who knows. Maybe he has really changed and stopped being a selfish, glory-seeking, people-using asshole after all this time. Not that it changes anything, but the Blitzo I knew would’ve never even thought about raising kids, and yet, here you are. The center of your daddy’s eye. Heh, well, at least he got one thing right.” She chuckled at the end of that, causing Loona to giggle in response, almost as if she was agreeing with her, the imp-pup's hooves lightly kicking and her imp-like tail wagging like a dog's. Barb had to admit, for a messy, nosey little brat, and one born from her brother no less, the kid was kinda cute. Thankfully she was smarter than those nosey nurses, or she'd practically end up charmed by her-

A sudden thought then came to Barbie's head, as she smirked schemingly. “Hey, you wanna be a good little niece, and help your auntie with something?"

“Hey, Jerry you almost done loading up the brownies? I’ve been having a hankering for chocolate for hours now,” one of the orderlies, a pale green baphomet asked his coworker, currently restocking food for the month.

“Yeah, yeah, give me a few alright, Bock? Why don’t you leave it for a few minutes and check up on Helga, yah fat bastard?” The disgruntled hellhound responded, getting the boxes of brownies in the cabinet for later.

“Yeah, at least then you’ll do something useful for a change,” mocked a third nurse, a pencil-thin imp with a soul patch, giving the baphomet a mocking grin.

“Hey f*ck off man, I do plenty around here!” Bock exclaimed with an embarrassed huff, much to Jerry’s amusem*nt, who just continued pilling up the brownie boxes. “And besides, she’s fine. Woke up an hour ago, so-” He stopped when he noticed something moving from the corner of the room. The other nurses temporarily stopped their food haul as they turned to see what was going on.

There on the kitchen floor, was little Loona playing around with a little, jiggling ball without a care in the world. “Is…is that a baby? The f*ck is a baby doing here?”

Bock shrugged as he watched the little one play. “I don’t know Jerry…but man, is it CUTE!” The nurse cooed in awe as he watched little Loona swatting at her ball, bouncing the toy between her scaly/furry paws.

“Awww look at her playing with her whittle ball! Gah, she’s so f*cking precious man!” the imp nurse squealed in glee at the sight, as he leaned beside Bock to watch the toddler, an equally captivated Jerry joining them soon after. They watched as little Loona played with her ball not even noticing them, giggling and yipping every time it jingled under her touch. Then she noticed something else more interesting to her young mind. Her tail with the fluffy bit of fur at the end of it.

“Ooooh, is she going to try and catch it? Aww, she’s gonna try and catch it isn’t she?” Jerry beamed up at the adorable sight, as indeed, little mischievous Loona tried to swipe at her tail tip, only for the appendage to instinctively move out of the way before she could touch it. She tried again and again, chasing and pouncing at her tail for minutes, all the while nurses and orderlies watched absolutely captivated by her cuteness.

None of them picked up as Barbie, a co*cky, victorious smirk on her face, stealthily sneaked behind them, into the kitchen and began stuffing brownies into an empty bag, while they were none the wiser, easily distracted by whatever cutesy thing Loona would do next.

“Ooooh watch, she’s standing up against the chair. That’s the first step before walking!” Jerry cooed in excitement, as Loona was now leaning up against one of the chairs, shakily trying to stand on her feet.

“Come on, come one kiddo, you can do it!”

“Almost there, almost there,”

The orderlies and nurses cheered her on, while Barbie tiptoed back into her room with her stolen goods, as it steadily seemed like the imp-pup was going to make it…only for Loona’s legs to give out, causing her to land bum first on the floor, in a small fit of giggles, which only made the orderlies lose it, with how adorable the young child was.

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you, yah little stinker. How did you get here?” Barb walked towards Loona with a relieved, worried smile, pretending as if she had just arrived, picking her up and smiling apologetically to the nurses. “Oh boys, thank you so much for finding my little niece for me. Honestly, I didn’t expect her to be so fast!”

The orderlies were taken aback by the reveal that the child was Barbie’s niece of all things, but Bock soon adjusted and addressed her warmly. “O-o-oh, eh, right. Well, I can’t say I approve of you leaving your child unsupervised like that, but I’m happy to see this positive change in your behavior Barbie. It’s really encouraging, truly. Hopefully, a sign of things getting better?”

Barb just gave them a sweet smile, as she went back towards her room, Loona in hand. “You boys have a nice day,” she waved them goodbye, as she left.

Once the imp was sure they were out of hearing range, Barbie placed her niece onto the floor, then with a villainous grin she slammed the door shut behind her. “Dumbassses! Hah, I can’t believe they actually fell for that!” She cackled victoriously, and practically dived right into her bag of stolen brownies tossing her goods into the air. Little Loona was joining in on the celebrations, howling in response, causing Barb to let out a small, but earnest smile at her niece, gently patting her on the head. “You know what? For a little brat, you ain’t half bad after all, LooLoo. And now, our bounty! Our glorious, delicious, psychedelic bounty!”

With a satisfied smile, Barbie took one of the brownies and devoured it whole; then frowned when she noticed she wasn’t experiencing a familiar buzz or taste. “Oh come on! No crack, no weed, no nothing?! The f*ck kinda brownies are these?” She exclaimed in frustration, as the pastries she had hoped to be laced with drugs, turned out to be nothing more than regular, run-of-the-mill, chocolate brownies. The imp considered throwing the tray in the garbage but just shrugged and ate another one. “Eh, chocolate’s still chocolate.”

In between her snacks, a sudden light coo alerted her to Loona, sitting by her feet, fiddling with the baby bag, trying to reach for the small glass container of baby food, giving tiny hungry peeps in her struggle. Seemed Barb wasn’t the only one with hungry needs.

The imp watched her struggle for a bit, then sighed. “Alright, come on here LooLoo. Let’s get you some food.” Pulling her up onto the couch by her armpits, Barbie gently plopped the hybrid next to her and got the food and spoon. Little Loona immediately started getting excited, as she watched her aunt get her gooey meal ready for her.

Her admittedly adorable little coos made Barbie genuinely laugh. So much so that she figured, what the hell? She had deserved a little treat for her part in their heist. Taking a piece from one of the brownies, she crumbled it into the baby food and stirred it around till it was perfectly mixed in. Barb was sure it was safe. After the imp had read somewhere hellhounds were built to be able to consume just about anything given they all originated from Greed, even chocolate. Surely the same went for the puppies, right?

Loona didn’t seem to mind, happy eating up her mixed-up food with seemingly no problem.

The rest of the day had gone by pretty much completely uneventfully after that. Shortly after feeding, Loona had tired herself out into a long, peaceful nap, finally letting Barbie have some time to herself, aside from a brief diaper change an hour or so later. The female imp spent most of her either reading her magazines or skimming through the channels looking for something decent to watch. Her momentary peace was soon shattered, by a sudden loud:

“GAAAAH!”

A familiar cry of pain alerted Barbie that her brother had arrived. sh*t, had it been so long already? Looking at the clock, she was surprised to see he had actually arrived on time as promised too. That was certainly shocking. Well, guess she’d better go greet Blitzo and return his kid…right after Helga shocked him some more.

“Lady I swear-GAH!-My daughter’s in there-GAAAH!-If you’d just talk to my sister you’d-GAAAAAH!-Mammon damn it, will you at least keep away from the-GAAAAAAAAH!!!-You c*nt lipped whor*!”

Barbie cackled at every well-deserved shock her brother received. Honestly, she was almost tempted to let Helga keep at it, til Loona let out a small concerned whine, having been woken up from her nap by the noise. With a small disappointed groan, Barbie picked up her niece and went to see Blitzo, currently while dodging Helga’s attempts to taser his groin. “It’s fine Helga, let’em in. I can take care of Blitz myself.”

The half-baphomet/half-envy dweller, gave the imp a surprised look, while Blitzo just smirked in victory. “Yeah, that’s right puss* lips. My sister says it’s okay.”

Helga glared at the Blitzo, debating whether or not to let him go, finally dropping him unceremoniously on the floor and walking off, trusting Barbie to deal with him properly. Blitzo stood up, and started grumbling while dusting himself off, and then was hit in the back of the head, by Helga’s taser causing a cry of pain. “That’s for knocking me out, you f*cking deadbeat!”

The imp started bloody daggers at the orderly giving her the finger, while Barbie just rolled her eyes, amused by his plight. “Well, here’s your kid back, along with all her stuff.”

Blitzo accepted the little toddler from his twin, cooing cutely at finally being reunited with his daughter. “Awww, hi Loonie! Did you miss Daddy? Cause he sure as hell, missed you. Yes, he did, oh yes he did!" Loona responded with a delightful series of giggles and babbling at her father's antics, while Barbie just crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at the display. She turned to leave as Blitzo started to place Loona back into her carrier, when he noticed her walking off, his playful smile turning into an awkward, thankful but saddened frown as he realized this was likely to be the last time he'd see her.

“Hey, sis?" Blitzo called out, Barbie stopping to let him finish, though shooting him an impatient glare all the while. "Look, I know this is the last thing you wanna hear from me after today but, thanks for watching her for me. Cause, you didn’t have to-”

“I didn’t do it for you, yah life wrecking jackass,” Barbie barked out harshly, as she turned to point accusingly at him, causing Blitzo to flinch. “I just didn’t wanna see the kid left alone like that. f*ck knows somebody’s gotta look out for her. Making sure Loona at least turns out better than you!”

“R-right, of course. At least one of us will turn out okay then,” Blitzo sighed softly. The two twins looked at each other in awkward silence, Loona briefly forgotten as the long-separated twins just stood there, with not a word being exchanged between them either. Finally, the older brother spoke up first.

“Well, a deal’s a deal and all that sh*t so-,” Blitzo struggled to find the right words, still clearly upset about potentially leaving his sister, the one living member of his family besides Loona, possibly for the rest of his life. “Look, I’m not the best at this emotional stuff and saying goodbye but…bye.”

And with that he turned to leave, unable to face his sister for what felt like the last time. Even then, it was clear how much it pained him to do this. Barbie watched him go with Loona in tow, and for a moment she felt really good. Finally, she was going to be rid of her bastard brother, and never see him again. Never get to see her cute little niece LooLoo again. Leaving her all alone in her squaller with not a friendly familiar face in sight.

“Wait…” Blitzo blinked in surprise when he heard the sudden call. Turning he saw his twin looking at him frustrated, and yet amicably. She looked at Loona, comfy in her carrier though starting to look a little pale, as she huffed and struggled to speak her next words. “You know, one the nurses said babysitting your kid might be good for my health and recovery, even gave me the day off from doing all their dumb exercises and stuff. And sh*t knows if it gets me out of that pain-in-the-ass physical therapy course…I guess I wouldn’t mind taking care of the kid once in a while, whenever you’re busy.”

The news made Blitzo nearly leap in joy. “R-really?” He started to form a hopeful smile. “So, are-are we-”

“Don’t get the wrong idea, you idiot!” barked Barbie furiously, as she marched towards her brother, her burning eyes tearing through him, causing Blitzo to shrink under her gaze. “We’re not cool you understand? One cute baby doesn’t change what you did to me! And what you didn’t do! If it were up to me, I’d never let you come within a mile of me ever again!”

It seemed like Barb was ready to tear him apart right on the spot, but then she paused to calm down, looking at her niece before continuing more calmly. “But, I’m not a petty bitch who’s gonna blame a kid for it. And, if she wants an aunt, I guess I’m fine with playing the part for a while. Even if I have to put up with a bastard like you.” She looked her brother right in the eye and pointed at their mother's choker. “So, here’s how it’s gonna work. You need me to look after the kid, fine. I can be the cool auntie she needs, but you are NOT going to be my brother again! You NEVER will. Sure, I’ll ‘try’ to tune it down in front of her, but I’m still gonna hate every second, I have to spend with you during it. As far as I know, we’re no longer family, and I hope you remember that until the day you f*cking ROT!”

And with that, Barbie turned from him and slowly began walking back to her room. Blitzo, clearly hurt and in agony over his sister disowning him with so much hate, nodded somberly in agreement. “Well, thank you for giving her a chance. It means a lot to me.”

Barbie stood in place for a few seconds but didn’t turn to face him. “Just shut the f*ck up and get out of here.” And then she left, slamming the door behind her.

Blitzo was unsure what to say or think after that. All this time, he had finally seen his sister again; and sure it hadn’t gotten as well as he had hoped…but it also hadn’t gone completely terrible at least.

As he walked out of the building, thankfully without Helga or any of the security there zapping him again, he looked down at his precious little daughter and couldn’t help but smile. “So, did you have a fun time with your auntie Barbie?” Loona’s response came out in cute short bursts of unintellectual babbles, which Blitzo chuckled to. “Well, you must’ve done something right she’s warmed up to you that much. Thanks to you, I might actually get to see her again. I mean sure she’ll still hate me like a pidegon’s sh*t on a new car, but it’s a start, right? It's more than I could've ever hoped for. And it's all thanks to you Loonie; you really are something else.”

His little daughter suddenly started to whine in pain. Her body began making unhappy grumbling, her spikes started flaring up and gagging noises began to escape her. Blitzo immediately recoiled in dread. “Loonie? LOONIE!” He grabbed her out of her carrier and held her to his face as the gagging continued to worsen, becoming more sickly sounding by the second. “Loonie, sweetheart! Nonono, we gotta get you to a hospital stat! I don’t know what’s going on with you but-”

BLEGH!

Blitzo’s worried screams died out instantly as baby Loona threw up…right into his open mouth. Now the imp was crying out in disgust, as he gagged and spat out the regurgitated contents onto the ground, while somehow still managing to safely hold Loona, who was now laughing like crazy. “Aww, f*ck that’s disgust! Satan, sh*t it’s in my mouth! Wait…is that…chocolate? Oh, that sneaky-BARB!”

Blitzo could’ve sworn he heard his sister’s cackling laugh from inside the building.

Chapter 9: I.M.P. Years: The Girlfriend

Chapter Text

Loona let out a dull, bored sigh, as she leaned against the desk, occasionally looking from her phone to see if she’d get another call.

Nothing. As usual.

It had been about 2 years since they had started I(mmediate).M(urder).P(rofessionals)., with Blitzo & Moxxie acting as chief assassins, while she maned the phone and only occasionally joined them out on the field. And business had been middling thus far. Not super bad thankfully, as even on a bad month they still made enough to barely pay the bills, but as Moxxie had predicted, there wasn’t much need for another assassination service in Pride, when the market was already overflowing with options.

Not only that, but most felt unsure about hiring messily hellborn for jobs, rather than the much stronger and durable sinners. So most of the days were spent sitting around the office in boredom, having pointless meetings and filing paperwork, desperately hoping for something to do, other than waste precious time. It was especially bad for Loona as due to her job, she didn’t have a good excuse to leave the office most of the time. She tried to be productive, managing the papers, talking to the clients, and ensuring the payment was coming in, but half of the time, there was nothing to do but laze around and look at her phone or whatever magazine or book she had. What she wouldn’t give for just one more mission with her dad and Moxx.

Speaking of which, the two had been gone for a while now. Was something-

SLAM!

Almost on cue, Blitzo stormed in, Loona’s father looking increasingly peeved at something, as he tossed his gun across the room and grumbled something about.

“So, I take it the hit was a sh*tshow?” asked the bored Loona, by now more than used to her father’s occasional temper tantrums, as she eyed him from the sides, noticing his shorter coworker wasn’t with him. “What happened to Moxxie?”

“Oh no, the mission went f*cking perfect! A real orgy and a half there,” Blitzo muttered sarcastically, as he went to their fridge, pulled out a can, and started chugging. “Cept from the fact, that MOXX, had to call in early to get ready for his big date.”

That raised the imp-hound’s curious eyebrow. “No sh*t, Moxxie’s got a date tonight?”

“Worse,” Blitzo snorted in disgust as he continued, completely outraged much to his daughter’s mild annoyance but genuine interest. “So you know, how Moxxie’s been spending less time around the apartment, leaving work early and asking for early days off recently, not only depriving us of his wondrous cooking but company and dedication to his work?” Loona fought back the urge to roll her eyes, giving him a small nod. Indeed, recently their imp coworker had been much less frequently around than usual; the trend having started about a month ago. He never revealed too much about why or what he had been up to, claiming Blitzo would never let him hear the end of it; which was more than reasonable. But, both of them noticed that whenever he left and returned, he always looked so happy, with a dreamy, sappy smile on his face.

Loona had suggested he was visiting friends, potentially even a crush, but Blitzo would always balk at the idea of him being in a relationship. Mostly in good fun. “Well, I finally decided to follow him, to see what was up and you’ll never believe it. HE’S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!”

He had exclaimed that part in absolute outrage like it was the most unbelievable thing ever. Loona finally rolled her eyes and shrugged, a bit bemused by her father’s antics. “I mean, obviously. Figured that one out about a month ago; I can hear him writing love ballads in the bathroom. He’s not exactly subtle.”

“Apparently they’ve known each other for THREE MONTHS! Only recently worked up the balls to start with the dating,” Blitzo began ranting, seemingly ignoring his daughter as he paced around the room in annoyed fury. “Can you believe that? All this time, he’s had a little thing wrapped around his finger, and he never told us! And get this, I overheard them, and they’re looking at apartments! THEY’RE GONNA START MOVING IN TOGETHER!”

“Oh really?” Loona asked, liking the idea of it just being her and her dad again. Not that she minded Moxxie’s presence too much, but after living with two imps all this time, the multiple fights over the bathroom they’d often have, and how he and her dad would get into verbal fights a few times, both in and out of work, it was a relief to hear her coworker might finally leave. “Well, I guess that’s not too bad. It would be-”

“NOT TOO BAD?!” Blitzo cried out in shock, growing increasingly worried and paranoid as he went on. “Loona have you lost it? First, it starts with them moving in, and before you know it, she’s having him work a boring ass desk job, taking life-consuming yoga classes, and raising a family of CATS! If we let this continue we risk losing a valuable member of our team! She’s gonna turn Moxxie into a complete puss*!”

“OR, she just wants to have a nice cutesy relationship with Moxxie, like most people who date,” Loona added dryly, starting to get annoyed at her father’s current train of thought. “Not everything’s a f*cking conspiracy to f*ck us over Dad. Just let Moxx be happy for once, and get your nose out of his affairs.”

“Loonie, I can’t! This is all way too suspicious for us to ignore. He’s only known her for three months, and that’s WAY too short for them to start picking curtains and bedsheets! She’s gotta be planning something, I can feel it. Why else would she be trying to get him away from us? Craven bitch must be seducing him, with her hotness or some sh*t. She could be half succubus for all we know!” Blitzo insisted, referring to the mystery woman with contempt and bitterness as he continued, glaring at the wall at the thought of her, his worry now clearly just being a transparent fit of envy.

Loona picked up on it immediately and started growling in frustration. “Seriously, Dad, knock it the hell off already.” She snapped at in, pissed off and thoroughly done with this as she glared into her father’s eyes. “You’re completely overreaction and honestly starting to sound like a creep. Moxxie’s free to date whoever the f*ck he wants, alright? Trust me the last thing he wants is you telling him who he can or can’t see. Plus, you and I both know you’re already in shaky waters with how you treat him, so please just drop it this once okay?”

Blitzo didn’t say anything after that, just shifted uncomfortably and gave a small nod. Taking it as a cue that he had seemingly listened to her, Loona exhaled in relief and got up from her desk, heading towards the office restroom. “I’m gotta take a sh*t. Cover for me.”

The imp watched her go silently, as he sat behind the desk and thought some more about his daughter’s words. He had to admit, she did have a point. He had been a bit harsh towards his coworker recently, whether it had been continuously poking fun at Moxxie to get a rise out of the little guy, giving out criticisms that seemed harsh in hindsight, or just generally making him do more work. He had excused it as him being the boss and making sure Moxxie was pulling his weight, but thinking it over it was still pretty sh*tty behavior. Especially after being the one to have helped him escape from prison.

Loona was right, it was about time he made up for it. Showed Moxxie that he did care about him. And he knew just how to do it!

By making sure his girlfriend really was the sweet little angel and not the manipulative devil he thought. After all, if his gut feeling was true and he stopped the bitch before she could pull something, surely it would make up for his string of sh*tty behavior, right?

With his sound logic in mind, Blitzo’s eyes narrowed and began making a plan to catch this mystery woman in the act. Luckily, he had overheard Moxxie planning another date next Saturday night. The perfect opportunity to try and save things. After all, the fate of the company and his family…erm team depended on it.

Saturday came sooner than expected for Blitzo. It was evening now and he was currently poorly hiding behind a trash can (and quite poorly at that, as anyone passing by could easily spot him without even trying), just beside the restaurant, where Moxxie had set up his date with his supposed girlfriend he was dating. It was an Italian restaurant because, of course, it would be. Blitzo liked Moxxie and all, but sweet Satan, was the guy such a f*cking romantic at times.

Blitzo looked through the windows with a pair of binoculars, trying to pinpoint Moxxie’s exact table, while ignoring the bystanders giving him weird looks; even some of the imps inside of the restaurant were beginning to take notice. It made him thankful he had decided against bringing Loona along for the mission, knowing how much she hated being stared at. The kid deserved a break, after how hard she had been working. Last he had seen her, Loona had taken the van out for a trip to the mall. Hopefully, she was having a blast there.

“Hey Dad, forgot my wallet,” Loona said loudly, as she stepped back inside her apartment, heading straight to her room, not noticing she was alone. The imp-hound had only made it halfway to the Mall before she remembered she had still left her cards and cash by her nightstand. Thankfully, the ride back home was only a few minutes away.

“By the way, you’ve seen Moxx’s pictures of his GF?” She asked casually as she looked at the pictures of the two of them on Sinstagram, a genuinely happy smile for the two of them. From the looks of things, Moxxie seemed to be very much in love with the beautiful stranger. Considering the few friends he had, the imp-hound was happy to see him find a lover. “f*ck, talk about a win right? Didn’t think the guy had it in him. Honestly, good for him, right dad?”

When she didn’t get a response, she turned to the couch to find it empty. “Dad?” She scanned the room for any sign of him, only to confirm she was alone. After a bit of searching, the half-imp hellhound spotted a note on the fridge, walked over, and read it:

Hey Loonie. Sorry, but I’m gonna be a little late tonight. I’m off to go bowling with some old friends. Rekindle things with Verosika. Get coffee with Barbie. Go to the mall, with you. Fight off a gang after our money. Get ice cream. Not stalk Moxxie on his date. Love dad.

“Satan damn it, seriously Dad?!” Loona groaned irriated. She had a feeling he’d try some sh*t like this, but hoped he was smarter than that. The hybrid went for her phone to call Blizo, only to nearly scream at the familiar ‘out of batteries’ sign. Right, she forgot to plug it in before bed. So much for her relaxing Saturday.

With barely contained anger, Loona stormed back to her van trying to find her dad before he screwed things over. “Okay, okay. Let’s think about this. If I were Moxxie, and I had a date, where would I…Italian. f*cking romantic.”

Blitzo had finally found the table. On one end sat Moxxie, and on the other, a female imp in a nice shoulderless dress. She had short black hair, a gap between her teeth, a pair of straight horns, a small mole under her eye, and a heart tattoo on her shoulder. All-in-all, a very, petty woman. The perfect seductress for a poor naive soul like Moxxie. Blitzo couldn’t help but growl at the sight of her.

Throwing his binoculars aside, Blitzo stormed inside the restaurant, brushing aside the waiter greeting him. Hiding behind a conveniently placed cart, loaded with dishes and covered with a cloth.

Peaking from the side, he eyed the two of them, Moxxie and the mystery woman. He couldn’t quite make out what was being said, but they were sharing a heartily laugh together. It sounded like they were having a great time. A wonderful one even. Blitzo didn’t think he had ever seen Moxxie this happy; not even one while he had been at their apartment. The thought made Blitzo sad and then bitter. No doubt that the manipulative harpy was already digging her claws into Moxxie! Making him forget about his team, about him! Pulling him under her thumb and turning him into a puss* who no longer liked being an assassin and instead only cared about her, all she could keep and use him all to herself! After all, there were no better idiots to manipulate than someone in love. All it would take was one flash of her cleavage, panties, and fake beauty mark, to make Moxxie give up assassination entirely, ditch them, and turn him into her personal bitch boy!

He began starring daggers at her, as the paranoid possibilities poisoned his mind and made his blood boil. He watched them continue to laugh, and he sneered. 'You know what? Forget just spying on them. Best to stop her now, before she can do anything to him. Make her regret ever talking to Moxxie like that! Make sure Moxxie won’t ever leave me. I mean us! Us! My family. Me and Loonie. Yeah, that. Can’t lose another family…'

Shaking away the thoughts in his mind, Blitzo zipped from table to table, like a rat with a bit of cheese trying to get to its hole without getting detected, until he reached the table right next to Moxxie’s. Curling underneath the cloth, he waited for a golden opportunity to present itself.

“-so then Sallie shows up, this was back when she was Sammy, and Mr. Ross is just yelling up a storm about her and Howie making out near his horses and…and…and Sammy just stabs him in the kidney!”

The couple shared another laugh, even if Moxxie’s was more disturbed. Blitzo tried to block it out as memorized their table number (13) and thought of something to do. It was right then that Moxxie went for a drink from his wine glasses. The imp then smirked as a sudden idea popped into his head.

With a rough bump with his tail, Moxxie’s vine glass flew from his hands and right into his date spilling red liquid all over her fine black dress. Almost immediately Moxxie began apologizing, rushing over to her to try and wipe away the wine, while Blitzo snickered. With her dress now ruined, seemingly by her date, this woman was bound to dump him on the-

“What this? Ah, don’t worry bout it, hun, it’s nothing really. I’ve gotten much messier back at the barn. Like this one time, during my cousin’s wedding-”

The f*ck? Why wasn’t she screaming? Why was she acting like it was no big deal? Was-was that laughter? They were back to laughing again! Blitzo didn’t know whether to be confused or pissed off right now.

“Honestly, I’m more pissed off 'bout our dishes,” the woman muttered as she adjusted her seat, with most of the wine off her dress. “Seriously, it’s been 40 minutes, how long does it take to make a pork loin?”

“I’m sure, it’ll be ready any minute now, honey. Just give it a few more minutes,” Moxxie reassured his date, as he also returned to his seat, as his words sparked another idea in Blitzo's head. The imp began smirking; now that he knew the woman’s order, perhaps he could try to spice it up a bit. Just enough that it would ruin any love she might’ve had for this date and even Moxxie. Now that was bound to do the trick.

With his dastardly plot in mind, Bltizo was right about to leave when he noticed something else. Sitting right next to Moxxie’s date, was a tall, rugged, handsome male incubus. The kind of stud most men and women dreamed of being with. And with how close the two were apart, it sure would look scandalous if she were to get closer…

Smiling wickedly, Blitzo grabbed the leg of her chair with his tail, and yanked it to the side, causing the date to topple over, falling right into the lap of the muscular man; uncomfortably close to his pelvis area. Both imps were shocked and Blitzo was grinning triumphantly. Nothing was more guaranteed to ruin a date than one of them flirting with someone else. In view of the other at that! Moxxie was bound to be furious at this-

“Oh crumbs, are you alright?! That was quite the tumble,” Moxxie asked terrified, jumping from his feet and rushing over to the date, making sure she was okay; clearly more worried about her safety than what she was currently doing.

Meanwhile, she just shrugged it off like it was not. “Relax Moxxie, I’m fine. I’ve been to the Pain Games remember?…or at least I used to.” She had said the last part with a bitter grumble before shaking it off and returning to her seat. “A little fall like that ain’t gonna kill me. Sorry ‘bout the inconvenience sir!”

“Eh, no worries. Just happy you’re okay,” the beefy male incubus shook it off casually like a proper gentleman, allowing the two to return to their date, without so much as a bother.

From beneath the table, Blitzo was close to fuming. How had that not worked? People were supposed to lose it when their date got that touchy with someone else. Not brush it off like it was nothing. Was all of Hell just losing it? He nearly blew up but pushed it to the side as he moved onto his original plan, stealthily heading towards the kitchen, he was starting to wish Loona was her after all. She’d probably come up with some good ideas.

“Dad? Moxxie? Either of you guys in here?” Loona called out, as she stormed through the restaurant trying to find either her father or her friend. This had been her second Italian restaurant and still no sign of them here either. Her patience was starting to run dry, her hair rising, spikes rattling and teeth barred as she growled/hissed in annoyance. She knew her dad could get paranoid and at times rash, but this was getting ridiculous. If only she had remembered to charge her phone battery, then she could’ve called him and been done already. Instead, she was going from restaurant to restaurant in a blind search for the idiot. All the while everyone was looking at her like she was some kind of freak.

“Hey, excuse me mam, but we don’t allow your kind in he-” One of the waiters tried to shoo her out, but he was met with a haymaker across the jaw and was out cold like that. Loona was about to storm off and try another place when a thought came to her head. Searching the guys’ pockets, she found a phone thankfully with 65% battery. After a bit of maneuvering his unconscious body, she was in. With a sigh of relief, she left the building and called her dad’s number.

The kitchen was a buzz with demons working tirelessly to complete orders and make food, so much so that hardly anyone noticed an imp sneaking by and sabotaging the orders. All the more fortunate for the scheming, smiling Blitzo.

*BZZZZ* Blitzo’s phone suddenly started ringing, almost alerting everyone to his presence. The imp quickly checked it, and upon finding out it was an unknown caller, dismissed the call and went to work.

It took a while, but he found the plate with the order number, halfway finished. And as luck would have it, the woman’s Pork Lion was lying there, nice and ready. Blitzo smirked evilly; it was time to get started.

*BZZZZ* It was his phone again. Same wrong number; dismissed. Grabbing whatever spices, ingredients, and sauces he could find, he started sprinkling and topping them all over the lion, ensuring that any flavor and taste were utterly assassinated. And with any luck, she’d hurl up her guts all over the table and potentially on Moxxie too. Oh, he’d absolutely dump her after that!

*BZZZZ* Blitzo dismissed the call once more as he tip-toed out of the kitchen. Waiting for the meal to arrive at the table and- *BZZZZ* The imp dismissed the call and- *BZZZ* *BZZZZ* *BZZZ* No matter how many times Blitzo tried to dismiss the call, it just kept on ringing finally, he couldn’t take it anymore, and accepted the call with a screaming: “WHAT?!”

“What the f*ck Dad?” Blitzo’s anger instantly turned into fear and shock at the familiar sound of his daughter’s anger.

“Ehehe, h-hey, Loonie,” He laughed nervously, as he stood towards the side of the restaurant, trying to stay out of view as he tried to keep his voice down. “How are-”

“Don’t you, ‘hey Loonie’ me!” His daughter exclaimed, almost loud enough to alert everyone to what was going on, causing him to cringe. “I saw your note on the fridge. I can’t believe you’re trying to screw over Moxxie’s date!”

“I’m not…Well, okay I kinda am, but I swear it’s for a good cause!” Blitzo insisted stubbornly. “We can’t trust this woman. She’s planning something, I can feel it. Why else would she be moving in after only three months? We need to stop her before she gets the chance to do, whatever it is she wants."

“For f*ck's sake Dad, do you even hear yourself right now? Are you really trying to ruin Moxxie’s date and possibly an entire relationship, for no reason other than some paranoid bullsh*t, only you’re seeing?” Loona argued in a hushed but frustrated cry: “You don’t even know this woman; you’re just being an asshole for no reason.”

“Hey, there is a VERY good reason for this OK?!” Blitzo cried out growing incredibly desperate in his arguing. “This is the only way to make sure that bitch loses whatever hold she has on Moxxie before she gets him completely under her control and makes him forget all about us!”

There was a pause on the other line after Blitzo’s sudden and desperate outburst. After a short, yet tense silence, Loona let out a loud, tired sigh. “…Oh my Satan, you’re f*cking jealous!”

“I AM NOT-!” Blitzo exclaimed nearly so loud, that it alerted just about everyone to him. Including Moxxie and his girlfriend. Blitzo quickly hid back behind his hiding place behind the cart, managing just to avoid getting detected. Waiting for things to die, he continued in a more quiet but still worried voice. “I’m not jealous okay? I’m just looking out for the team. If we don’t break up these two, he won’t have time or dedication enough to continue being an assassin; especially not if she softens him up and makes him quit. Nobody wants a cold-blooded killer for a husband after all. Then she’ll convince him to spend all his time with her and just like that, we’ve lost our second-best assassin, our roommate, and our friend!”

Loona was half-tempted to start a furious argument with her father, he had certainly warranted it after this waste of a day he had put her through. But knowing that would probably have gotten her nowhere, she just sighed and tried to reason with him. “Come on, Dad, please don’t do this. I mean just-I’ve seen the pictures of them on Sinstagram, and they both seem to be happy together; both Moxxie and his girlfriend. Just let him have this, is that too much to ask of you?”

His daughter’s reasonable words and simple questions were enough to make Blitzo start to reconsider. He looked back at the couple from the side of his cart, watching at how happy they seemed to be, and while he still felt a bit bitter, it had been massively cooled by Loona’s argument. “But-but, Loonie, what if this woman-

“You don’t even know her Dad. f*ck you didn’t even know she existed until a few days ago. For all you know, she could be totally into the whole assassin thing, and be a completely normal, nice lady and not whatever kind of person you’re trying to make her out to be,” Loona pointed out sternly, making Blitzo feel even more guilty. Especially after she made her other point. “And more importantly, Moxxie ain’t a f*cking kid. He can make his own decisions and the least you can do is be happy about it and leave him be! Even if your theory turns out to be true, do you think he’s gonna be thankful when he finds out you’ve been stalking him?”

Blitzo wanted to believe so, but despite his moments, he wasn’t a moron. Most of the time. He knew the answer. “…no, I guess he’d say that was pretty sh*tty of me.”

“Yeah, he would. You know Moxxie. The guy may not get along with you a lot of the time, but he loves his job, and he’s good at it. There’s no way he’d just up and ditch us over one woman right? I mean, if he wanted to leave, he’d have probably done it by now.” At this point, Loona was sounding less angry and more soft in her approach, her reasonings finally managing to get through to her paranoid, fearful father. “So maybe…I don’t know, f*cking talk to her or ask him about her before you decide to ruin this relationship and possibly even, Moxxie’s relationship with us, all over some girl? Please?”

The now guilty Blitzo looked at the couple’s table one last time, a guilty frown replacing his bitter one, as he sighed and nodded. “Okay, you’re right. This was stupid.” He began to sincerely apologize to his daughter as he crawled out from his cart in defeat. “I’m sorry Loona, I didn’t mean to get carried away, I just…I don’t wanna lose another family member you know?”

“You’re not. Moxxie’s not going anywhere, just because he has a girlfriend now,” Loona reminded her dad, before sternly saying. “And speaking of which, he’s the one you should be apologizing to, not me.”

“Yeah, I know. Should probably get to it.” Blitzo scratched his neck embarrassed, before nervously asking: “Mind giving me a lift? I’m at Scarmiglione’s Finest near the demolished Post Office.”

Despite her frustrated mood and ruined Saturday, Loona agreed. “I’ll be there in 10. Don’t get into more trouble until then.”

“I love you,” Blitzo said hopefully.

“Yeah, I love you too.” With that Loona hung up, Blitzo putting his phone away as he exhaled and started heading towards Moxxie’s table to apologize. f*ck, it was going to be an awkward mess, but at least it couldn’t get-

“Order for Table 13 coming up!”

Blitzo stopped midtrack. sh*t! Their order! The one he had f*cked up! He had almost forgotten all about it! The imp turned to the waiter, as he walked over to the table with the food. “Uh, excuse me for a second there. Wait! WaitwaitWAIT!” He tried to call out, only to be ignored, as the waiter placed the dishes in front of the pair.

“f*cking finally! I swear, a few minutes more and I would’ve started eating the napkins!” The female imp happily accepted the plate from the waiter, all but ripping it from his hands, as she looked ready to tear right into it. Moxxie just laughed and accepted his plate, unaware of what was going on. All the while Blitzo looked on in worry.

As the date prepared to eat her meal, Blitzo, throwing caution to the wind, did the only thing he could think of. He ran towards the table, and right as she was about to eat, just managed to throw her fork and the loins away; sending them flying right into a group of six touch, violent, and dangerous-looking imps in the middle of a meal, causing sauce and meat to spill all over them, ruining their leather jackets and good mood.

Not that Blitzo had noticed, just being relieved he had managed to stop a potential disaster from occurring. Sure, he may have been the one to have caused it, but he still felt proud about stopping it.

“What the-BLITZ?!”

Blitzo flinched at the familiar voice, as did the sauce covered gang of demons, turning to see Moxxie looking at him in complete surprise, having finally discovered him after all this time. His date looked on too, confused and pretty angry at having her long-awaited meal ruined. With the rush having passed, Blitzo gave the couple a nervous wave, as he tried to look as innocent as possible. “H-hey Moxx! What a pleasant surprise seeing you here. I mean…what are the f*cking chances of the two of us going to the same restaurant, am I right?”

Moxxie looked very unimpressed by his boss’ feigned ignorance, seeing right through his bullsh*t. He was about to call him out when his date suddenly piped up. “Blitz?” She repeated the name to herself, then blinked in realization. “Oh, is this that annoying as sh*t boss/roommate you’ve been telling me about? The one who’s always making you do all the chores, saying mean stuff, and giving you crap for no good reason?” Under different circ*mstances, Blitzo might’ve given his coworker an annoyed scolding at this reveal. But considering his actions, he begrudgingly agreed.

“Yep…that’s me. Hehe, such a kidder,” He chuckled embarrassed, before turning towards Moxxie with his best apologetic frown. “Look, I’m sorry for throwing away your lovely meal and spying on you guys, but-”

“THAT WAS YOU?!” A loud, harsh voice called out from the sidelines towards Blitzo. He, along with Moxxie and his date, turned to see a small gang of imps, covered in sauce walking right up to Blitzo. The biggest out of the imps, a really burly and angry-looking guy with bullhorns, a mohawk and one eye glaring down at the tall imp, with murder in his eyes. “You ruined my best jacket asshole! This was a gift from my grandmama!”

Blitzo just snorted carelessly, brushing the guy off as he tried to walk back to the couple. “You mind pal? I’m kinda trying to have an emotional, heartfelt apology here and you’re kinda ruining the mome-”

SLAM!

The burly demon sent Blitzo flying with one punch, the imp nearly bursting through the other side of a wall from the force alone. He was left a dazzled mess, with cracked teeth and a black eye, barely able to stream together words, when the leader marched over to Blitzo. Besides him, his gangmates all pulled out weapons like bats, knives, and one even a gun, while the leader cracked his knuckles; the rest of the staff and patrons slowly got out of their way, not wanting to get caught up in whatever was going to happen next. Grabbing Blitzo’s shirt, the head imp lifted him to eye level as he raised his fist to pound him into mush, while his cronies watched and cackled. “No one disrespects my gang or my grammy and lives.”

Before he could throw his first punch, however, Moxxie decided to step in glaring frustratedly at the gather, pulling out one of his pistols and shouting: “Hey!” The group briefly turned to him as he glared back. “Look gentlemen, I apologize on my boss’ behalf for this whole incident, but I’m going to have to insist you kindly put him down and resolve this matter peacefully before-”

The leader growled right at Moxxie’s face and smacked the pistol out of his hand like it was nothing. “Oh, you’re friends with this dick! Alright, I’ll take care of you after we’re through with him.” Before the imp could pull out another weapon, the boss grabbed Moxxie by his bowtie and chucked him right into a nearby table, its previous occupants ducking out of the way as he was soaring into it.

His date gasped in shock at the display…then glared at the muscular imp, marching over him with a murderous scowl. “HEY! Nobody f*cks with my Moxx! Y’all better git, before I f*cking kill you BITCH!”

He just scoffed with a dismissive smile and a jovial laugh, one that his cronies joined in, as he pointed towards her with his free hand. “Hehehe, look here girlie. If you don’t wanna end up like your scrawny little boyfriend, I suggest you-”

Moxxie’s date grabbed the imp’s hand, and with one sudden twist, nearly snapped it completely off the arm. The leader dropped Blitzo as he began screaming in pain, his hand hanging loosely, with his two forearm bones poking out of their sockets, blood gushing everywhere. Everyone looked at the sight in total shock, the staff, the guests, the leader’s men, and even Blitzo was completely taken aback by the woman’s sudden, brutal act.

“What the f*ck?!” Both Blitzo and the leader cried out in shock once they had recovered from the initial surprise. The buff imp came back to Hell first, glaring fumingly at the woman, and turned towards his men. “KILL HER!”

The leader’s posse all leaped upon her like an unorganized group, the one carrying weapons swinging at the imp with the intent to kill, while everyone else looked in frighted awe. She, however, effortlessly dodged the swings and leaped right toward the one imp carrying a gun. He didn’t even get a chance to fire, before she was on his chest, ripping his lower jaw off with one hand. Poor sucker was too busy screaming, he didn’t even fight as the woman took his gun and blasted his brains out.

With the first goon gone, Moxxie’s date immediately moved targets to another one, this being a heavyset imp with a machete. Leaping from the falling corpse, she kicked the man in the gut so hard he dropped his knife; which she grabbed midair and used to carve open his throat. As he crumbled to his knees, blood gushing from his wound, two other goons ran towards the date. She simply shoved the dying imp to the floor, grabbed his horns, and with one hard yank ripped off his horns.

Turning to the approaching imps, she tossed one of the horns through the furthest one’s eyes, killing him instantly, and dodged the bat swing of the other one. He got about four missed swings before she pounced and rammed the horn into his heart, knocking him onto his back. As he started coughing up red and clutched his wound, the girl grabbed his now-dropped bat and with one mighty swing, split his head open.

And that left only two goons left; the boss and a skinny, clean-shaven imp nervously holding a pocketknife…who immediately booked it out of there screaming: “Man, f*ck this sh*t, I WANNA LIVE!” The buff imp slowly climbed back up, grabbed one of the discard bats, and with a pissed-off yell, ran towards the tiny, but terrifying female imp. She just scoffed, readied her bat, picked up the machete, and awaited him.

The buff leader imp slammed the bat against the floor, with enough force to shatter stone, but she just kept on dodging, even as he was starting to break furniture, sending smashed tables, chairs, and dishes everywhere. He had forgotten all about Blitzo and Moxxie, the latter slowly recovering from his toss and the former watching in awe at the carnage before him, doing his hardest to hide the growing erection he was having from this, just focusing squarely on killing this one woman who wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

After the large imp missed another swing for her ribcage, the woman slid underneath his legs, and with the fast crack of a whip, turned and slashed the imp’s heels. Almost immediately losing his footing, the man struggled to stand on his knees, as she then whacked him in the head with the bat, hard enough to send half of his teeth flying out, knocking him right on his back. Discarding the bat and machete, she walked over to the man, now a gurgling, crying mess, barely able to talk, and looked at his useless arm, hanging limply on the ground with the bones still sticking out. With a small tsk, she grabbed them, snapped them off, and stabbed him right in the brain with them finally killing the man.

With the fight over, she breathed a small sigh of relief and then turned very concerned, looking over to where Moxxie had been thrown, the poor imp weakly collected himself off the table and ran over to him, immediately going to check if he was okay. “Moxx? Darlin’, are you alright? Come on speak to me, honey.”

The dazed imp shook his head and gave his date a small, reassuring smile. “Y-yeah, I’m okay. I’m just relieved that’s over. Sorry, I had to miss the fight.” The loving couple just shared a small, sweet head rub, relieved that the whole messy affair was over, ignoring the shocked, disgusted look of the other patrons and the staff horrified at the damage she had caused.

It was right at that time Blitzo had recovered from the initial shock of the carnage before him. Turning towards the couple, the woman in particular, he grinned wide like a shark. “Unholy sh*t! Moxxie, where have you been keeping this woman all this time? That was f*cking brutal!” Blitzo cheered beyond excited and impressed by the horrific, bloody display he had witnessed. He didn’t even give his coworker a chance to recover before he began singing more of the woman’s praises.

All this time he had been worried that this woman might’ve been some kind of gold digger or possessive broad. Some bitch only using him for sex, and services, making Moxxie forget about him and Loona, to keep him all to herself. Instead? Not only did she seem to genuinely love him, but she was a f*cking badass too! sh*t, he had never been more happy to be proven wrong. “Seriously Moxx, if I’d known she was this metal the whole time I’d have wanted to meet her immediately. I mean look at her she’s f*cking stunning and she can kick people’s asses. That’s just a match made in Hell right there! You’ve gotta introduce me to this wonder demon!”

Moxxie sighed a little annoyed but shrugged defeatedly. "Well, I supposed it was bound to happen eventually. Honey, this is my boss Blitz; Blitz I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Mildred.”

“Call me Millie,” she extended out a hand towards Blitzo, which he happily shook. “Not a fan of how you’ve been treating mah boyfriend, but otherwise, nice to meet ya! Hearing good things about your assassin business.”

“Well shucks, it’s nice to know talent can recognize talent,” Blitzo chuckled a little bashfully while giving the now-named Millie genuine praise. “Seriously, where did you learn to fight like that? You an assassin too or something?”

“From Wrath! Born and raised! Any imp worth their salt learns to pick up the axe and fighting spirit down there, as soon as they turn 2!” answered Millie with a cheerful, nostalgic grin. “And you’d be right. Freelancing currently. Jumping from job to job.”

“Really? A talent bad bitch like you doesn’t have job security?” Blitzo smirked an idea forming in his mind.

“Ahem!” a sudden, loud cough interrupted everyone. Blitzo turned to see Moxxie glaring at him with a suspicious and very accusatory stare. “So now that the drama and violence is over, Blitz, perhaps you’d like to tell us what you’re doing on OUR date?!”

Blitzo to his credit, managed to play it off perfectly, shrugging innocently: “Well, you know how it is MoxxBoxx. I was here for a bit of dinner, myself. Not my fault we happened to be at the same place.”

“Riiight…” Moxxie was unconvinced, still glaring at his boss and Loona knowingly. “You just happened to be eating at the exact same restaurant, at the exact same time as the two of us. And the weird little accidents, like the wine, the bump, and you throwing our food was just happenstance too?”

“Hehehe, w-w-well, okay so I miiiiight’ve come here to spy on your date and possibly gotten too carried away, and tried to stop things before they turned bad but hey…the important thing here is it all worked out in the end, right?” Blitzo chuckled flatly at the lame excuse. Moxxie was not impressed, giving his boss an accusing glare as he crossed his arms, causing his boss to frown guilty and blurt out: “Okay, look, I’ve already been grilled enough by my daughter as is so, I just wanna apologize for my dumb actions today, and say I’m happy for the both of you. Seriously, turned out much better than I had hoped. Not that it makes up for what I did mind you, so again, I really, really am sorry.”

Moxxie held his glare for just a while longer, before sighing, shaking his head but seemingly having accepted it. “This better not become a recurring thing, sir.”

“No promises. But hey, let me make it up to you.” Blitzo turned to Millie with a salesman smile as he eyed her up. “Millie, you look like a woman who loves killing just as much as the two of us…how’d you like to be part of the I.M.P, family? Me, my daughter, and your loverboy here could use the extra muscle!”

Millie lit up at the offer, eyes turning into stars as she excitedly squeed. “Really? You seriously, want me on the team?” She seemed completely over the moon at the offer, before collecting herself. “Ah mean, it…ah’d love to join but, you sure ah wouldn’t be inconveniencing y’all or somethin’?”

“You kidding? Not at all!” Blitzo insisted with a dismissive wave and encouraging grin, as he offered a shake. “Just come over this Monday. We’ll book an interview and if all goes well, we should have you on board no problem.”

“Sounds great! Ah'll be there!” Millie shook his hand vigorously as she turned towards her boyfriend with an ecstatic smile. “Eeeeh, did you hear that Moxx? We’re gonna be workin’ and killin’ together! Ain’t amazing?”

Moxxie had been taken aback by his boss’ sudden job offer towards Millie, but after giving it some thought, found he actually enjoyed the idea of killing beside her. “I…uh…yeah…I guess that would be pretty great.”

A certain Imp-Hound finally arrived at the now mostly destroyed restaurant, the majority of its patrons having fled amidst the fight, spotting her dad with a tired grumble: “Okay Dad, I’m here and-HOLY sh*t, WHAT THE f*ck HAPPENED HERE?!”

“Loonie, there you are sweetie! Come over and meet Moxxie’s GF Millie! She’s gonna be working with us from now on! Isn’t that nice?” Blitzo welcomed his daughter back with a bright happy smile, as he indicated towards the Millie, who gave Loona a delighted wave.

“…you know what? I’m just happy this is over.” She approached the female imp and cautiously introduced herself. “Name’s Loona. Sorry about my dad.”

“Ah shucks, no worries hun. You must be the bright and mouthy receptionist Moxxie’s been talking about,” Millie greeted her with a friendly smile, even as Loona watched her with a guarded frown. “Nice to meetcha! Heard a lot of good things about you; dutiful receptionist and not a half-bad killer either. Wouldn’t mind sparring once or twice with you, if you’re as good as he claims.”

Loona fought back a flustered blush at the earnest praise. It was so little, but she had been so unused to it coming from someone other than Blitzo and Moxxie. She dropped her guard a bit and managed a small smile. “T-thanks. Though, maybe we can take a raincheck on that one?”

“You got it!” Millie agreed, before muttering a little hangry. “Right now, the only thing I wanna take down is something edible and full of meat! My dinner got ruined and I’m starved as sh*t!”

“Agreed! We gotta celebrate our new teammate!” Blitzo called out, as he placed his hand on the new hire and turned towards his teammates with a wide smile. “Who wants Pizza?!”

Millie cheered at the idea, Loona gave a small shrug and Moxxie loudly said: “Only if you’re paying for it,”

“Wanna make him buy the most expensive crap at whatever place we drop?” Loona asked him knowingly with a slightly sly smirk.

“Mercilessly,” Moxxie whispered in a cold, stern grumble.

“Perfect! So what are we waiting for? Come on, I’m sure there’s a Pizzebub around the corner and time’s a wasting. Let’s go go, go the f*ck outta here!” Blitzo exclaimed as he started nervously rushing everyone out of the restaurant, having noticed the owner walking towards them with a face as red as a tomato and a large bill in his hand.

The newly created foursome all booked it into the van and drove off towards Pizza. The first of hopefully many new adventures to come.

Chapter 10: I.M.P. Years: A New Start?

Chapter Text

Loona was starting to get worried. Her dad had been in his ‘home office’, aka bathroom, for almost two hours now, and she hadn’t heard a peep from him since. She had tried to get her dad to leave or even talk to him, but the imp was insistent he be left alone to think. Loona really wanted to believe that was all he was doing, but with how things were looking out, a certain other terrifying possibility seemed like a ridiculous yet not entirely out-there idea.

The hybrid looked at the bills stacked on the paper. Many of them were past due, with a threat of violence and destitution if they didn’t get paid by the end of the month. As she had feared, their luck had dried out. Despite their best efforts and a few good-paying jobs, it still wasn’t enough. Even after Millie had joined them almost a year ago, they were still a new company, trying to stand out in a market that was already flooded with companies too similar to their own, run by more professional and tougher demons, than what they were offering.

With each passing day, covering the rent, putting food on the table and even keeping I.M.P. afloat seemed less and less likely, and now it looked like the final nail in the coffin had been hammered. And Loona was honestly disappointed her fears had been proven right. Despite how boring things could be, Loona liked her job and especially the company it brought. She had grown fond of both Moxxie and Millie over time, the recently married couple, becoming her honourary uncle and aunt by this point. If nothing else, she hoped that they’d still be able to stay in touch, after they had to inevitably say goodbye to the company.

The only one who wouldn’t admit defeat was, as expected, Blitzo. The CEO and her father, was still stubbornly insisting they could save the business, with the right hook, spending hours in private trying to figure out how. And while Loona wanted to help her dad fight for the company, after no other options days in days, she was sure there was-

“I’ve got it! I’VE f*ckING GOT IT!”

The sudden shout from the bathroom pulled Loona out of her thoughts, as Blitzo rushed over to her with an excited, confident smile on his face. Loona had…mixed thoughts. On the one hand, given how happy he looked the worst-case scenario was out, but on the other it also meant Blitzo had a new, likely crazy idea; and most of those rarely ended well.

“Loonie, call Moxxie and tell him and the misses to hold on selling the office! I just figured out how we’re going to save I.M.P.!” Blitzo declared, a wide, excited grin confident in this latest idea. Despite knowing her dad’s faulty track record with those, Loona hesitantly motioned him to continue. A cue the imp immediately went for. “It’s a little tricky but I figured something out. Now, why is it our company’s failing?”

The Imp-Hound humored her dad with a deadpanned response, not fully liking where this was going: “Cause, there are way too many assassination companies as is. And most of them are Sinner-based so there’s no need to hire imps.”

Blitzo nodded and continued, though grumbling at the mention of the Sinners. “Right, sad but true. We all know Sinners are cheap, overpowered assholes who get all the privileges from us hard-working hellborn folk, but there’s one little advantage we have that they don’t,” The imp’s smirk returned with that one as he eyed Loona expectedly. “Tell me Loona, what’s the one thing hellborn species can do that Sinners can’t?”

“I mean, Sinners aren’t allowed to go to the other rings beside the circles of Pride. Other than that, I guess there’s that they can’t travel to-” Loona’s eyes widened as she realized exactly where this was going. “-To the living world.”

“BINGO!” Blitzo declared with a proud, excited smile as he threw up his hands in confirmation. Still high on his idea he immediately went for his sale’s pitch. “We hellborn can go up to the living realm, anytime we want with the right equipment. You have any idea how many dead losers down here, have at least one dick they’d love to see murderized that they can’t get to? Sinners looking for revenge, closure, some-other-third thing, coming to us to take out in the Living World for them. We’ll be flooded with customers and corner a market never even dreamed of by the rest of Hell! The first assassination company to kill the living for the dead!”

“Holy sh*t. Dad…that’s actually f*cking brilliant!” Loona meant it too. Sure the idea was risky and even dangerous if they weren’t careful, but the good far outweighed the bad. With how many sinners there were in this realm, most of whom with enemies they wanted to take care of, they could potentially make enough to set them up for life. Then she remembered one little snag in the idea, that caused her to deflate. “But, how are we going to pull this off? I mean, first, we’ll have to get an Asmodean Crystal, but I’m sure Fizz could-”

“What and wait for like a lifetime before we get approved? If at all? Nah, even with your godfather giving us the early go-ahead, there’s no way we’re getting it before I.M.P. closes shop,” Blitzo shot that idea down quickly but didn’t lose his smile as he pulled out his phone. “I’ve got a better idea. And it’s all thanks to this guy!”

He held out his smartphone in front of Loona, who cringed disgusted at the image. “Ugh, Dad! What did I tell you about keeping your fetishes to yourself?”

The imp’s face turned red(der) remembering he had accidentally shown her a picture from his “research” folder. “Oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t! Sorry, my bad! Forgot I had that on. Give me a second real quick!” He soon pulled out the picture he actually wanted and showed it to her daughter. The hybrid looked at it with a bit of a confused stare.

“Is that…Prince Stolas?” Loona co*cked her head at the familiar Goetian Prince staring at her through Blitzo’s phone. The hybrid felt an overwhelming wave of nostalgia come over her. sh*t, it had been like…almost 12-15 years since that affair at LooLoo Land. She had almost forgotten all about it until now.

Not that the imp noticed as he nodded and went on. “Exactly, my Loony-Toony! And you see this fancy book he’s got there?” Blitzo pointed to an ancient, powerful-looking tome that the Prince carried under his arm. “That my dear is our meal ticket. I know for a fact this is what that stuffy bird uses to peer into other realms, like a creepy little stalker, including the Living one. All we gotta do is swipe it from under his nose, and I.M.P. 2.0. Is a go! Brilliant right?” Blitzo looked at his daughter expecting nothing but praise.

Loona looked at her dad almost dumbfounded. In one instant his brilliant idea had turned absolutely stupid! “Wha-I-Are you-How can you-” The hybrid daughter struggled to get her words across or where to even begin for a bit, before finally begrudgingly asking. “Okay, first of all, Dad, how do you even know it can do that?”

Blitzo opened his mouth and then closed it as he struggled to find an answer.“Huh…I actually don’t know that?” The imp racked his brain trying to find some memory of where he had learned about it, but it just kept eluding him. After a moment just shook his head insistantly. “But, I know for a fact that it can, okay! I heard it from a reliable source. Plus it’s magic, so it’s gotta-”

“And secondly, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR f*ckING SKULL?!” Loona exclaimed completely outraged by the ludicrous idea. “You’re seriously planning on robbing a f*cking Goetian Prince?! Demonic royalty, several leagues above us?”

“Aw come on Loonie, it’s just one book. Rich birdie’s probably got a million of ‘em. Not like he’d miss it or anything,” Blitzo waved off his daughter’s very real fear which only made her more pissed off.

“Not my f*cking point you idiot!” Loona exclaimed, standing up from her seat to glare at her dad, spines rattling and teeth barred. “What if you get caught? What happens to you if they find out what you’re planning?! You think he’s gonna just let you go after he catches you running off with one of his things?”

“L-Loona, look just calm down for a second okay?” Blitzo tried to ease his daughter down. “Look, I won't be caught. You know I’m a sneaky guy. It’ll be a fast job; In and out before he even notices me-”

“Will you take this f*cking seriously asshole?!” Loona did not relent, arguing against it, clear with worry. “The moment he or his guards catch you, you’re f*cking dead! Do you not understand that? The best-case scenario is they throw you in jail or sue you to oblivion. I’ve seen what these royal assholes can do! They can turn you to stone with a glance. They have a whole other super demon mode! And f*ck knows what else! If they catch you in the act, there’s no f*cking way you’re surviving. Do you understand?”

Blitzo wanted to argue further but stopped as he noticed the distressed look on Loona’s face. His daughter looked close to tears, desperately to pull him out of this crazy idea. “Dad, please…I don’t wanna lose you. And if he catches you…I can’t f*cking lose you like that. So please…don’t do it.”

“…Okay. I won’t. I promise.” Blitzo reluctantly agreed, unable to face his daughter looking at him so hurt and desperate.

“Thank you,” sighed Loona, relieved that he had decided to drop the idea. The half-imp hound pulled her dad in for a hug, doing her best to cheer him. “I still think you’re onto something here Dad. The idea’s good, really, we just need to find a healthier way to make it work. Preferably one that doesn’t end with one of us dead, okay Dad?”

The imp silently agreed and gave her a weak smile, not bringing up his robbery idea after that. The father and daughter spent the rest of the day having a cheap dinner and suffering Voxtube while they still had electricity to burn. They left for bed promising to get back to the idea in the morning.

Blitzo watched Loona turn in for the night, leaving him alone with his thoughts but didn’t go to sleep himself. Instead, he got up from bed and went to look back at the bills stacked on the table, all of them demanding more of his financial blood. Rent, Electricity, Water, Groceries and that was not counting the ones for I.M.P.

The writing was on the wall. They needed money quickly or they wouldn’t just lose the company, but their homes, safety, and new lives too. Something he could not allow. He had made a promise to his daughter years ago, that he’d do whatever he could to make sure she’d grow up alive and happy.

And for as long as he could, Blitzo was going to fulfill that promise.

Loona yawed lazily, clad in PJs, as she walked out of her room, thanking whatever Sin that had invented weekends, that she didn’t have to work today. f*ck, it felt so damn good to sleep in way late and relax that it took the hybrid a moment to realize her dad hadn’t greeted her yet. “Morning Dad. You up?” As her half-asleep state passed, Loona called out to Blitzo again, expecting a response. Nothing. Not even a wave. But he was always up at this point, either waking up himself or making breakfast.

“Dad?” Loona called out a bit louder, growing worried. She walked over to the couch, and to her dread, it was empty. Sure, there was the pillow and blanket, but no imp. Just a note.

Loona almost immediately began to panic. “No! Nononono! Dad, please don’t tell you-” The imp-hound took the note, begging that her worst suspicions were false as she read it:

‘Hi Loonie. Going out for some errands. Will be back in time for dinner at the latest. Buy whatever you’d like. Dad.’

Loona dropped the obviously lying note as her knees buckled, and overwhelming fear took hold of her. He had done it! That…that lying asshole actually was actually going to do it! Motherf*cker, was she the only one in this family who had a grain of sense in their brain?! Did he not care about how close he was to dying?

It took every fiber of Loona not to break into a mess of tears, fear, and anger, as she went for her phone and dialed Blitzo’s number, all while both praying he was okay and quietly cursing her Dad for the panic attack he was going her. She waited for him to pick up-

*BZZZZ*

A familiar ringtone came from underneath the couch. The bastard had left his phone at home!

“You…you.assholey, dick-pissing…dick!” Loona snapped for a moment, grabbing the ringing phone and slamming it against the floor, where it shattered into a million pieces. It had felt good for a second. Letting her anger out on something, but it didn’t last longer before her terrors returned.

Oh f*ck! f*ck! Her dad was going to die. The crazy, stupid, reckless idiot was robbing an Ars Goetia, there was no way he was getting out alive. If he hadn’t already been killed. Loona remembered how powerful Stolas was from the one time she had met him. And the thought of that terrifying amount of power unleashed on her dad was enough to make to her heart explode. sh*t! sh*t! sh*t! sh*t! sh*t! If she went after him now, would she even make it on time? Would it be too late? Was her dad already dead?!

Fighting back a massive panic attack, Loona immediately went to their hidden gun stash and called Moxxie & Millie. She had to get her dad before the worst came to pass, and needed whatever help she could get. And even though a regular shotgun wasn’t going to do much to an immortal prince, it was better than nothing at this point.

“H-hello?” Moxxie’s groggy voice greeted her after four rings, indicating he had just woken up.

“Moxx, wake up Millie and get over here right the f*ck now!” ordered Loona loudly as she began punching in the combination to the gun safe (6969). “We gotta stop my dad before he gets himself killed!”

“Wa-what?” The imp asked confused at the sudden demand, quickly asking for clarification while his wife woke up next to him. “Woah, woah, okay Loona, what are you talking about? What is going on?”

Loona, on edge, came very close to screaming into the imp’s ear at that moment but forced herself to calm down and explain while loading her double-barrel: “That f*cking idiot’s going to rob an Ars Goetia, just to try and keep the company still going. Now are you gonna help me stop him before he gets himself killed?”

Both imps were shocked by the sudden information dump; Millie recovering first as she began growling and searching for her axe. “Well, what the f*ck are we waitin’ for? Let’s skin some rich prick!”

With a gun in hand, Loona went to find the van keys. “I’ll be at your guys’ place in 5. Get your best sh*t and-” The hybrid stopped when they weren’t in their usual spot. She rushed to the window, growling when she found the spot where they had left the van completely vacant. “Motherf*cker, he took the van! Of course, he took the f*cking van! sh*t, as if things weren’t hard enough!”

Moxxie, the only one of the three not jumping straight for action, timidly tried to say: “Well, how about we cool down for a second and not-”

“No time sweetie! B’s in trouble!” Millie shouted axe in hand, cutting her husband off. “Try callin’ a taxi or an Uber or somethin’ real quick. How far is it to them rich’s land?”

“No wait, everyone stop for a second-”

“I don’t f*cking know, probably an hour or two?” muttered Loona frustrated, not paying attention to Moxxie’s plea. “Plus, we’ve got to wait like 10 minutes just for the damn car to pick us up. If we can even find that fancy owl’s place in time.”

“If I can just something real quick-”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Hang up and call’em already! We’ll meet you on the way.”

“Waitwaitwaitwait-”

“Got it. See you in a-”

“HOLD IT!” Moxxie’s loud, commanding shout was thankfully enough to finally get the women to stop in their tracks. With a small sigh, the imp began to explain: “Look, I get everyone’s tense right now, but maybe we shouldn’t immediately rush into this rescue thing?”

Both women were completely floored by Moxxie’s sudden suggestion, Loona in particular snarling in response, feeling betrayed by it. “Ex-f*cking-cuse me?! Do you want to see your boss die asshole? After he saved your miserable, ungrateful ass?”

“Hey, don’t you call my-” Millie seemed eager to snap back, only for Moxxie to hold her down and clarify.

“I’m not saying we abandon Blitzo. Just that we shouldn’t immediately do something drastic towards an all-powerful son of King Paimon. Not until we fully know what’s going on,” Moxxie explained his case, trying his hardest to calm Loona down before things got bloody. “For starters, how do we even know for sure he’s going there? Maybe he’s out for some other plausible and hopefully not as stupid reason. I mean even for Blitzo, this sounds ridiculous.”

“No, he’s going to the prince, I know he is. Idiot told me all about this genius plan to save the company with his dumb book yesterday, and this morning he’s gone!” answered Loona, still angry but reluctantly hearing Moxxie out as she recounted the events of last night, right up to her finding his note.

Moxxie fought back a groan at his boss’ idea: “Okay, so maybe there’s a chance he’s that stupid. But…maybe he also did have some last-minute errands he had to run and just left his phone at home.”

“The day after he gets this insane plan?”

“Yeah maybe.” Moxxie tried to argue, struggling to keep control of things. “Look, do we at least know which Goetia he was talking about?”

“Prince Stolas,” answered Loona coldly, her patience starting to vain. “Apparently, he’s got some kind of magic portal book or something and-”

“Wait Stolas?” A cooled-down Millie asked, the name sounding familiar to the female imp. “I know that guy! He’s that fancy owl that curses our corps on the Harvest Moon Festival every year. Sure he’s a condesendin’, little racist prick but as far as royals go, he’s nice enough. Definitely doesn’t seem like the murderin’ type.”

“See? So even if your dad was going to that place, there’s a chance he won’t kill Blitzo. Probably just throw him to the dungeon or something like that. In which case, we can try to get him out then,” Moxxie tried to reassure Loona, though with little success.

“I’m not f*cking chancing it!” shouted Loona, now moving towards the door, preparing to take whatever car was available and rush down to Stolas’ mansion on her own if she had to. “I’m going to get him with or without you! Before that princely creep has a chance at doing f*ck knows what to my dad.” Her finger was inches away from the end call button when Moxxie managed to get out one more quick argument:

“And exactly how are you planning on doing that? How are you going to sneak past an Ars Goetia’s massive security team and the Prince’s sight and get away with your dad without being noticed? Or without exposing him if he hasn’t been caught yet? What if your showing up is what blows his cover and ends up getting you both killed?”

That managed to get through to the hybrid. And though Loona’s mind was still plagued with fears, her coworkers' reasoning was enough for her to pause.

Moxxie continued, speaking calmingly to ease his friend’s growing panic, despite the pressing circ*mstances. “Loona, I know you’re worried, I am too, but this is Blitzo we’re talking about. Do you really think he’d let himself get captured, much less killed, if we weren't sure you’d be okay? Remember that job we did in Envy? We all thought for sure that would be the end of him, but somehow he made it out alive. I’m sure he can manage this too. Rushing in without a plan is libel to get him in more trouble with the Prince. Even get us all killed! We need to be careful about this.”

“But…but he’s my dad! I can’t just f*cking leave him there,” Loona argued with a tinge of fear, still not at ease with just abandoning her dad to whatever dangers would befall him. “Once the Prince finds out about him he’ll-”

“Oh hey, a new post from GossipRoyalsDaily. Apparently, that snobby prince’s having a ‘Not Divorced’ party over his place. Seems like a lot of rich folk will be there too.” Millie suddenly spoke up, having checked the net for any news regarding Blitzo’s capture or something going on with Stolas. “Maybe even so many, his royal owlness won’t notice an imp sneaking about.”

“Yeah, even if Blitzo was there, with how many people are there, I’m sure he’ll be too busy socializing and partying to even notice your dad,” reasoned Moxxie a bit more relieved.

Loona, who had stopped in her tracks a while ago, struggled to argue more after all that: “…but…but what if one of the guards gets him or-”

“Look, we’re on our way to your apartment as we speak. Let’s give Blitzo til dinner time and see if he keeps his promise before we make any rash decisions okay? After that, we can start our rescue mission, with a clear plan in mind that will hopefully not get us all killed. Does that sound fair?” offered Moxxie gently.

Loona desperately wanted to protest, still fearing whatever the Prince would do to her dad, while she just waited and did nothing; practically abandoning him to die. She almost considered blowing them off and going on her own like she promised, but the imp’s logic was solid. Enough for her to breathe out frustrated and relent. “Fine, you win. But I swear Moxxie, if ANYTHING happens to my dad because of this, I will kill you.”

Moxxie nodded on the other side. “And I won’t stop you. Millie & I will be at your apartment ASAP. From there we can start planning out a rescue mission. And Loona? I swear, your dad’s going to be okay. I’ll make sure of that at least.”

“You f*cking better.” Loona ended the call and returned to her apartment, trying her best to stay calm. Something that was easier thought than done, even after the countless reassurances and reasonings from her honourary uncle.

But she did her best to be hopeful that her dad would come back soon. He had promised to be back by dinner time after all. He’d be back by then. He had to! Right?

Night time approached and her dad STILL hadn’t come home. Dinner had ended hours ago and still not as much as a peep from him! Another lie!

Meanwhile, she and the M&MS had spent their time conducting a plan in case of this very event, and they were still just waiting in their apartment doing nothing! They had a solid plan, they had the weaponry, they could probably get a ride with ease and yet they were just dicking around!

Moxxie was slowly panicking, distracting his mind by going over the plan for the umpteenth billionth time and Millie was continuously checking social media for any update on the Stolas situation. All the while, the hybrid daughter of Blitzo could feel herself growing more and more restless by the second. She had struggled to keep it in check all this time, but with every minute that passed since the dinner deadline, Loona was barely able to keep herself from panicking.

“Well, the good news is, we haven’t had any word of an imp crashing the party yet. I mean, if Blitzo were to be killed by a big prince they’d probably talk all about it right. So maybe, there’s a chance he’s okay, right?” suggested Millie optimistically, hoping it might ease some of Loona’s growing stress.

It didn’t. “That’s IT! I’m f*cking going!” Loona got up to leave, Moxxie and Millie doing their best to stop her.

The husband of the two quickly called out. “No, Loona, we have to wait-”

“NO!” Loona snapped at Moxxie causing him to recoil as she glared down at him. “I am not waiting another f*cking second longer! My dad’s life is in danger. I am going and you can’t stop me!” She was moments away from storming out when he tried to stop her again.

“Loona be reasonable. This is a demon prince we’re talking about. You can’t fight an Ars Goetia!”

“Well, technically she just can’t kill an Ars Goetia. But if we’re talkin’ hand-to-hand, ah’m puttin’ my money on the hellhound/imp girl,” Moxxie turned to his wife, a bit disappointed that she seemed to be encouraging this. Millie shrugged. “I’m just saying.”

“Regardless, she’d also have to face off against the prince’s guards. Not to mention the dozens or so minor Goetias that will still be at the party. Even if they’re less powerful, they’re still a threat,” Moxxie argued back trying to get through to his friend. “Our best chance of getting out is to go when most of the royals have left.”

“I don’t care if I have to face off against the entire Morningstar Family! I’m not leaving my dad to the mercy of that royal bastard!” Loona cried out, her anger now morphing into dread and regret. “Who knows what that bird f*cker’s doing to him right now! He could already be f*cking dead! And it’ll be all our fault. It’ll be my fault! I would’ve killed my dad!”

The last part came out in a broken sob. The imps, initially taken aback immediately frowned sympathetically at the hybrid daughter. Millie went in for a hug while Moxxie gently talked to her “Loona, come on. You know that’s not true-”

“I should’ve f*cking stopped him! Should’ve known he’d pull some crazy sh*t like this! I’ve only lived with him my whole life.” Loona began breaking down, fighting back scared tears and her breathing got shorter and shorter. “Why the f*ck didn’t I try to stop him more? Why didn’t I hear him leave, he’s not exactly graceful in mornings. If only I hadn’t been so stupid I’d-”

“Okay, honey enough of that sh*t! You’re gonna drive yourself crazy asking sh*t like that,” said Millie sternly before Loona’s rant could get any worse.

It had helped a little but Loona was still distraught and blaming herself for it all. “At the very least he could’ve asked me to come with. I’m capable too! I’m fast! I know how to use a gun! At the least I could be the getaway driver-”

“Or could’ve ended up dead if you were caught too.” Moxxie reasoned, shutting her down before she could go further. The imp stroked her back to calm her down and once Loona was in a slightly better state, he continued: “Blitzo may not always have the best ideas, but he cares about you more than anything else. There’s no way he’d bring you along if there was a chance you’d end up like him.”

“Instead he’d just leave me as an orphan.” muttered the hybrid, bitterness replacing her worry as she angrily exclaimed: “I just…I f*cking hate it! I hate just standing here doing nothing, while f*ck knows what happens to Dad. I should be doing something right? Isn’t that what a daughter is supposed to do?”

“Ah get it, sweetie,” Millie said with a sad nostalgic frown as she thought about her past. “Ah lost plenty of family and friends in Wrath due to twisters, Pain Games, and so on. Lost a brother due during harvest season, when I was too young to help. It eats up at you.”

“That’s not the same though. I’m not a child Millie. I’m a grown-ass adult!” Loona argued frustrated. “One who’s should’ve stopped that suicidal ass before he even thought of this idea! I’m a f*cking moron.”

“Loona, If there’s one thing I know about Blitzo, it’s that idiot’s too stubborn to die. Least of all knowing that you’re waiting for him,” Moxxie gave her his best determined smile as he looked her in the eye. “And I don’t care how powerful that Prince is, where your did is, I’m sure know he’s alive and I promise you, we’ll get him back.”

“And then you’re gonna roast the everloving sh*t outta him for doing this to you!”

Millie’s fiery boast got a small chuckle out of Loona, “Thanks, guys…Does this mean we’re finally going after him?”

The married couple shared a look for a long while, almost as if they were having a private conversation before Moxxie nodded to his friend. “We’ll leave first thing in the morning.” Loona nearly snapped again at that, before Moxxie added: “Wait! Loona, before you say anything, look at yourself. You’re stressed. Exhausted and moments away from cracking. For good reason yes, but you’re in no state fit for this mission. If we’re going to rescue Blitzo, we’ll all need to be at the top of our game right?”

Loona opened her mouth and then shut it when she knew she couldn’t argue. f*cking Damn it! Why did Moxxie always have to make sense like that?!

“I know you hate it but, try and get some sleep. And when you wake up, refreshed and hopefully in a better state, we’ll go. Sound fair?”

Honestly, some sleep was sounding really good to Loona right about now. She was getting herself so worked up and stressed, that it felt like she would collapse if a strong enough wind breezed over her. So, without much fight, she breathed and went to her room. “Sure. Sleep sounds good. Just don’t try anything without me got it? Don’t need anyone else disappearing on me like that.”

The imps followed Loona to her bed, turned off the lights, and left her be. Before closing the door, Millie gave her honorary niece a reassuring promise: “Don’t worry hun. We’ll get your daddy safe and sound.”

Hoping her aunt was right, Loona closed her eyes and did her best to sleep, promising to either get her dad back or make the prince pay, when she next woke up.

Usually, Loona would’ve gone on a murderous rampage at someone at the idea of waking up earlier than 7 am; especially on a weekend. But not this time. Not when her dad’s life depended on it.

Instead the hybrid, fueled by determination and an entire pot of coffee, was driving through the streets of Pride in a stolen car, violating almost every road law known to man, and some not even known to demons, with one goal in mind. Getting her father back from whatever Stolas had done to him. In the back seats sat Moxxie and Millie, the latter enjoying the wild ride and the former struggling to keep last night’s dinner from spilling and suddenly missing the reckless driving of his boss.

Loona didn’t notice or even care. She had barely slept a wink last night, nightmares about what might’ve happened to her dad running rampant in her mind all day. Not helped by the fact she was sure the couple had taken turns looking over her at night, making sure she didn’t try to run off in the night. But, nothing was stopping her now; She was getting her dad back or dying trying.

After two hours of driving, they finally made it to the Prince’s mansion, the regal palace hidden behind a small stone wall and a large gate. And, barely hidden behind some wrecked bushes, was the I.M.P. Van, so easy to spot it was a miracle no one had tried to tow it yet. Parking not far from it, the trio turned to each other one more time before they dived towards the dragon’s lair.

“Okay, so we all know the plan right?” Moxxie asked, Millie & Loona nodding without a word. “Any last-minute concern or note we should know before doing this?” He waited for an answer just in case but didn’t receive one.

“No? Good,” Loona unbuckled her belt and reached for the door. “Now let’s go save my-”

She was interrupted when a figure fell from the gate and crashed right on top of the windshield. Everyone yelped in surprise at the sudden turn, then once recovered looked in shock and disgust, at the figure in question. Loona especially was stunned.

“DAD?!”

Blitzo, recovering from his jump looked back equally shocked. “LOONA?! MILLIE? MOXXIE?”

“PANTS!!!”

Moxxie cried out in horror, shielding his eyes, drawing everyone’s attention to the fact that their boss/father was currently almost naked in front of them; Wearing just a coat. No pants.

The unholy sight was enough to make them all cry out in disgust. Loona most of all was horrified by it, covering her eyes and crying out: “AAAH! DAD WHAT THE f*ck?!”

It took a moment for Blitzo to realize what was causing them such disgust, after which, the imp cursed and did his best to cover himself up from his daughter; eventually settling for turning his jacket into makeshift pants. He then booked it back to where he had hidden his van, the poorly hidden vehicle soon roaring to life, as it drove through the bushes and nearly crashed into the car. “What are you waiting for? GET IT!”

The threesome didn’t need telling twice, quickly abandoning their stolen vehicle and getting inside; the van drove off as soon as everyone was onboard, racing off far away from the mansion at top speeds with no one ever looking back. Though if they had, the imps and hybrid might’ve caught a glimpse of Prince Stolas laughing maniacally on top of his bedroom balcony while his wife screamed at him covered in cake.

Before long the mansion was just a speck in the distance, and the four of them all sat together in awkward silence. While they were relieved that Blitzo was safe and sound, they could all feel the tense atmosphere between him & his daughter. Even Blitzo was starting to get worried as he noticed the cold, frown Loona was shooting him from the passenger seat.

“…Look, Loona-”

“Not now,” said Loona coldly, refusing to look at him. Blitzo relented and stayed quiet for the rest of the ride home.

They made it back to the apartment 3 and a half hours later, the awkward tensity lingering even when they were all inside. Once inside, Blitzo’s first order of business was to get redressed. He slipped on a new suit in his room and upon stepping outside, was greeted by his daughter staring daggers at him with barely contained rage.

The imp shrank a little at the sight of Loona’s face, and after what felt like hours, he awkwardly broke the silence: “H-hey Loonie. Sorry I took so long…”

Loona looked at him in utter bafflement. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” exclaimed Loona, Blitzo flinching a little at the loudness of her words. “You leave in the middle of the night, with no means for me to contact you! You decide on the stupidest possible way to save the company and storm a Prince’s mansion! Left without any backup on a suicide mission, that could’ve made me a f*ckING orphan! And you think I’m upset about that you took a while longer to get here?!” She marched closer to him with each point, until she was up to his face, glaring down with an angry, pained growl as tears began welling up and her voice started to crack. “What the f*ck were you thinking?”

Blitzo was barely able to face his distraught daughter, as he struggled to explain himself. “I’m…I’m so sorry Loona. Seriously, I really did plan on coming sooner, I had this whole thing planned, but then I got caught by these two assholes, one thing lead to another, and…I didn’t mean for you to worry.”

“Too f*cking late for that!” shouted Loona angrily throwing his note, now crumbled up into a ball at his face. “I figured it out the moment I saw the note! If Moxxie & Millie hadn’t stopped me, I would’ve been there yesterday!”

“Oh…L-Loona I-I didn’t-” the imp was unable to think of any better way to explain his reckless actions, looking away from the daughter he had caused so much stress to, ashamed of himself and what he had done. Finally, he sighed defeatedly. “I f*cked up.”

“Yeah…you did.” Loona wiped away some of her tears as she looked at her dad feeling betrayed by what he had done, looking for some kind of answer for all of this.“Just…why? Why the f*ck did you do this? I know we were desperate for money and to save the company but…stealing from an Ars Goetia?”

“I didn’t do it for the company. I did it for you!” Blitzo exclaimed in anguish, taking Loona aback. “For M&M. To make sure we’d have a way to get by. If I didn’t do this, we would’ve lost our homes. Possibly ended up on the streets, struggling to get by. This was the only way to make sure you’d be okay. Being an assassin is risky sure, but it’s what I’m good at! f*ck it’s the best job I’ve had my whole life, even at its worst. I promised I’d keep you safe and happy, and this was the best shot of doing that. If I hadn’t done this…who knows what might happen to us? To you.”

Loona wasn’t fully satisfied with that answer. “We could’ve gotten different jobs! Like before we had the company.”

“And split up I.M.P.? f*ck that sh*t! We’re not breaking up the team, just because Hell thinks it can ruin the few good things we have!” Blitzo argued, anger in his voice at that, before continuing. “And before you suggest waiting to get one from Fizz, we both know the company would’ve closed up by the time we’d get one and there was no way we could start a brand new company with the funds we got. I’m sorry Loona, but I had to do it.”

“No, you didn’t!” Loona shouted in anguish, as tears began flowing from her eyes. The hybrid nearly crumbled to her knees as she began crying, Blitzo unable to respond as he looked pained by his daughter’s breakdown. “You could’ve died Dad…you could’ve died.”

Blitzo was tempted to respond with a casual ‘but I didn’t’, but one look at his daughter’s face was enough to stop that. He pulled her in for a hug and softly whispered to her, fighting back his own tears.“I’m sorry sweetie. Daddy’s so so sorry. I never meant to make you worry like that, I swear. I’ll do anything like that again. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are Dad.” Loona broke away from the hug, wiping her tears looking exhausted but nowhere near as distraught as she had been in a while. That was enough for Blitzo at the moment. “I need a drink. Barely slept a wink yesterday.”

Blitzo, nodded as he let his daughter head to the kitchen. He then turned to the married couple currently giving him a stink eye from the other side of the room, having heard much of the conversation despite being in the other room. “So, I’m guessing this’ where you two tear into me too.”

Moxxie looked like he was about to do just that, only to shake his head and sigh. “Pretty sure your daughter’s done enough of that for the both of us, Blitz.”

Millie meanwhile walked on by and with a small smile that put the imp at ease. “Yeah, so ah’ll just say one thing,” Millie grabbed him by the collar and growled into his stunned face. “Don’t you ever f*cking pull a stupid stunt like that again! You nearly gave your kid a heart attack!”

Blitzo chuckled nervously, as he nervously agreed. “Trust me, I figured out that much.” He looked back to Loona currently chugging a bear in the kitchen. After a pause, she tossed him a can too, which Blitzo took as a sign that she was starting to get over his reckless move.

After a much-needed drink, the imp sighed contently, then smiled confidently as he reached for something inside his jacket. “The good news is, I managed to score ourselves our new big meal ticket. Behold!” He dropped something heavy and thick-looking on the table, causing a heavy thud as it hit the wooden surface. Everyone looked at the object and their jaws always dropped as they gazed upon the Grimoire. Its blue cover, golden lining, and the red jewel on its spine made it look more valuable and powerful than everything else in the room.

“Unholy sh*t, he did it. He actually did it!” Moxxie whispered in awe at the grimoire, disbelieving it was there. “I can’t believe it.”

“We’re not still considering this right?” Loona said harshly, glaring at the book like it was a timebomb about to explode. “I mean, how long will it take before he finds out we’ve stolen it? He’ll come right for all of us.”

“Loonie, I told you. He had a dozen of the things, he’s not gonna miss this,” Blitzo waved off her concerns. “And besides, I’m pretty sure he caught me running off with his book and didn’t bother to stop or catch me at any point, so I doubt we’re gonna have anything to worry about.”

“And if he does, we’ll just give him a taste of what he imps can really do!” exclaimed Millie with a bloodthirsty grin.

“That’s the spirit, Millie!”

“How the f*ck did you even manage to get this thing, sir? And, somehow more importantly, WHY WERE YOU NUDE?!” shouted Moxxie, that image of his boss’ privates still haunting his brain.

Blitzo looked away for a bit before asking with a nervous yet sly grin. “Well, I may or may not have given him a pityf*ck, in order to get away with the thing.”

“…You did WHAT?!”

“Dad you’re…you’re sh*tting me…right?” asked Loona, unable to fully believe what she had been told.

“Hey, he was the one coming onto me, with all the flirty talk.” Blitzo shrugged innocently, his grin growing dirtier as he playfully added. “And you know what they say: In for a penny, in for a pounding right?”

“NO ONE IN HELL OR EARTH SAYS THAT!” Moxxie exclaimed.

“STOP! Stop-stop-just f*cking stop Dad!” Loona cringed as she covered her ears, not wanting to hear any more of her father’s perverted crap.

“What, you should be proud. How many dads can you name, that can go a whole day with an Ars Goetian Prince?” Blitzo teased, enjoying this bit of fun after the stressful morning he had had.“And given the lengthy plowing I gave the guy, I’m pretty sure we can say we’re even now, right?”

“Daaaaad!”

“So, what was it like in bed?”

“Millie, we are not encouraging this!”

“Awww come on, don’t tell me you’re not interested! I know about your kinks and sex fantasies Moxx!”

“Can we not, talk about my Dad’s horniness for five f*cking minutes? It is too f*cking early for this sh*t!”

From there the mood soon shifted into jovial fun and relaxation, the events of the last day seemingly forgotten, as the team started laughing at the ridiculous of it all. After the amount of stress they had gone through, the feeling was surprisingly a welcomed one to Blitzo and even Loona.

“So, how does it work anyway? The whole getting us to the living world thing?” Millie asked excitedly after things died down. All the encouragement Blitzo needed to flip through the pages and prepare their first portal.

“Okay, so first we draw ourselves a nifty little pentagram,” After a bit of searching Blitzo found a marker and quickly drew a simple pentagram on the nearby wall. “And then we just think up the place we wanna go,” Blitzo closed his eyes and began concentrating; a very clear location in his mind. “Then we put our dominant hand on the page, visualize it in our minds and that should-”

FWOOSH!

With a sudden burst of fire, the pentagram changed. And in its place was a large circular portal, leading to what appeared to be a field. In the nearby distance was a small farm and some horses behind a fence. Blitzo looked at it in awe, as did everyone else, and then he grinned triumphantly. “Well, what did I tell yah? Anyone wanna take the first step?”

“Are you kidding? Do we even know this thing is safe?” Loona argued, still very much against this idea, staring cautiously at the portal like it was a snake ready to sink poison into them at a moment’s notice. “How do we know, we won’t get fried or something the second we cross this thing?”

“Aw come on, Loona, it’s just a magic door-thing. Not like it’s gonna disintegrate us or anything,” said Millie carelessly waving off any worries the hound had. To prove her point, she pulled out a knife and lopped it through the portal. It passed over to the other side without so much as a minor inconvenience. “See, the knife’s all fine, we’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“No, I’m with Loona on this one; we should be careful with Goetian magic,” Moxxie muttered as he examined the portal, taking small steps toward it. “How about we test it out some more? Maybe start with small rocks, food, maybe animals and slowly move onto regular hellborn.”

Blitzo seemed to consider the idea for a moment. “Hmm, yeah, I guess we could. Or, you know-”

WHACK!

One quick kick to the posterior later, and a yelping Moxxie was thrown through the portal, landing face first onto the ground.

“BLITZ!” Millie & Loona both glared annoyed at Blitzo who just shrugged.

“What? He’s the one who wanted to test it.”

“This is not remotely what I meant SIR! Do you even know what could’ve happened if-if…” Moxxie’s angry tirade came to a stop, as he finally took notice of his surroundings. He looked around the place in awe, seemingly forgetting why he had been angry in the first place.

“Moxx? You okay honey?” Millie asked tentatively, a bit worried by her husband’s state.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. At least, I feel fine. It’s just…wow, the living world is so different,” Moxxie said, looking around the place, still a bit marveled by it all.

The trio in Hell all looked at each other for a bit, then slowly Millie decided to step through as well. Joining her husband without any issue, the female imp too was quickly taken by the new realm. “sh*t Moxx, you weren’t kiddin’! This place’s way colder than Hell ever was. Cleaner too.”

Seeing his two coworkers safe on the other side, was all the evidence Blitzo as he beamed up happily to Loona. “You see Loonie? It’s perfectly safe. Now come on, let’s get a swig at the new place!” He grabbed his daughter by the arm and dragged her through the portal.

“Wha-hey!” was all Loona could exclaim before falling through. She nearly collided with the dirty soil, and almost considered chewing her father out for the unwelcomed grab, only to pause for a moment as she beheld the Living World.

On the surface, it didn’t look like much. Just a small forest area with a small horse farm in the distance. But experiencing it was just…unlike any realm Loona had been to prior. Instead of all the pollution and smoke of the infernal realm, the air here felt cleaner and more alive than most of the other Rings. Everything smelled different without the gunsmoke or rotten flesh. There wasn’t any sound of someone getting hurt or killed at all. The sky wasn’t red or any other overly-vibrant color and instead of the massive pentagram, there was a clear view of stars and a whole f*cking moon! Even the grass was smoother than any park in Hell. She had only been there for a moment but everything was just so overwhelming and new. The hybrid was at a loss for words.

“Holy sh*t.”

“Ladies, Gentlemen, I give you the start of The Immediate Murder Professionals 2.0.!” proclaimed Blitzo proudly, stretching out his arms, gesturing to the whole Living World. A world of endless possibilities. Of hits and missions that could potentially keep them in business for years on end. And new experiences to explore, that had previously been denied them for so long. And despite everything that had happened, the gang couldn’t help but cheer up at the prospect, giving their boss a small round of applause at his big promise.

“So, first trip into the Living World. Anyone got any suggestions, on how to celebrate?” asked Moxxie innocently.

“I’m gonna ride the horses!” Blitzo suddenly declared, sprinting towards the horses behind the fence.

“What the-SIR! Sir, get back here! That’s not a good idea, we’ll get exposed. Sir, SIR!” Moxxie called out in vain trying to step Blitzo’s mad dash towards his favorite animal. Millie laughed following her husband mostly out of amusem*nt than urgency.

Loona watched them go, running through the fields without a care in the world. The hybrid still wasn’t on board with this whole thing. Sure, she was relieved things would look up for the company and everyone’s financial situations. But the rational part of her mind knew things weren't likely going to stay good for long. Eventually, the prince would have to find out and when he did, who knows what his response would be. Or if any higher-ranked demons found out about their scheme. That, and she still hadn’t fully forgiven her dad for the stress he had given her just to get to this point.

But looking at her father, happier than he had been in a while, the half-hellhound decided…she didn’t mind relaxing for now.

So, with a small smile, Loona laughed and chased after her father, before he could impulsively reveal their existence to some nearby human. Happy that, at the least, things would be okay for now.

Chapter 11: Imp-Pup: First Steps

Chapter Text

“Alrighty Loony-Toony. Come on, come to Papa Blitz,” the imp patted his knees and motioned for the baby to move towards him. Little Loonie giggled delightedly as she started to crawl. “No no no no, on your feet, on your feet, you can do it, sweetie.”

He motioned her to stand up, the imp-pup looking confused at her father’s motions, before eventually smiling in understanding. She leaned against the nearby wall and shakily tried to stand up. “Yeah, yeah! That’s it Loonie! That’s my girl!” Blitzo cheered excitedly. Ever since Barb had started babysitting his little daughter, Loona had gotten closer and closer to taking her first steps. Once she was able to shakily stand up on her own, it wasn’t long before the imp started trying to help her at least once a day, to finally go for her first walk.

Leaning against the wall, Loona began to let go as she uneasily stood. She raised her left foot, her dad beaming with excitement…only for the child to stumble and nearly fall flat on her bum again. Loona let out a small whine in displeasure but thankfully didn’t cry.

Blitzo sighed a bit disappointed, but still helped up his daughter and cheered her up with a boop on her nose. “Yah did your best Loonie. You’ll get it next time.”

The pup let out a small yawn, one that Blitzo soon reciprocated. “Yeah, you’re right Loonie. The weekend’s over. Better catch some zees if I’m going to make it to next week.” He placed his daughter in her newly acquired crib, the imp-hound having recently outgrown her original box bed. He kissed her goodnight, striped into his undies, and eventually drifted into the night.

Blitzo woke up, to the bright greens of a Greed morning, peaking through the blinds of his window. The imp moaned in annoyance, as he reluctantly opened his eyes while grumbling about it being too early. His alarm hadn’t even gone off yet. He considered going back to catch a few minutes of sleep but decided to quickly check the time on his phone.

He woke up instantly when he noticed he had slept in half an hour late.

“FUUUUUUUUUCK!”

His loud, panicked scream woke up Loona, the baby starting to cry while Blitzo rushed out of bed, and began scrambling for his clothes. He was already late enough for work now, so showering was out of the question. Just a quick face wash and a dash of deodorant would have to do.

“sh*tsh*tsh*tsh*tsh*t! I knew I forgot something last night!” The imp rushed out of the bathroom, face still wet, gently picked up her child, and tried his damndest to juggle rushing to work and calming her down at the same time. Thankfully her diaper was clean, so that was one less thing to worry about.

It took him roughly 10 minutes to finally calm her down, which only delayed him even more. With no time to waste, the imp strapped on his baby carrier put his daughter inside, grabbed her bag, went in the fridge for a jar of carrot baby mush, half a moldy fruit, and then bolted towards the bus which was already departing from its stop.

The imp had to run till his legs stung and then claw his way through a broken window, but Blitzo eventually managed to get inside the moving vehicle. He was able to uncomfortably squeeze himself between two other imps, as he sat down and tried to ignore the small pile of vomit next to him.

The bus ride to Loo Loo Land continued without much fun. Bluzo fed Loona her breakfast, much to the disgust of the two imps sitting beside him, he ate his moldy fruit which did little to sustain him, and tried to ignore the noise around him until they finally arrived at the knockoff amusem*nt park. As he entered through the employee entrance, he groaned at the sight of his boss waiting for him.

“You’re late Blitzo,” The scruffy imp said grumpily as Blitzo passed him, giving him a rotten stink eye. “That’s gonna come outta your pay.”

“Yeah, yeah, what the f*ck else is new?” Blitzo muttered as he passed him, already feeling tired despite the extra sleep.

“See you forgot your clown suit, again. Third time this month,” his boss added dryly, Blitzo mentally facepalming himself upon realization. “That thing ain’t cheap you know. You wanna use our spare, it’s gonna come outta your pay too.”

Great! So now he wasn’t eating dinner this weekend. Blitzo almost considered telling his boss off, but he didn’t want to give him another excuse to duck his pay, so he just grumbled, walked past him, and towards the usual playpen he’d leave Loona, while he was off working.

Thankfully, it was only a few feet away from the entrance, and no line of parents to keep him up any further. He entered and was immediately stopped by one of the workers.

“Oh no, I already told you, Blitz, she ain’t allowed in here no more!”

“Yeah, I know Kevin, but you’re going to have to make an exception this time, alright?” Blitzo demanded handing Loona over to the worker. “I woke up late for work, the daycare’s a 20-minute drive from here and her aunt’s like a whole hour.”

“Not my problem dude,” Kevin dismissed annoyed, shoving the baby back over to the imp. “Parents don’t wanna leave their babies with some horned lizard-dog, and I’m always the one who has to hear them nag about it. Both from the parents and our boss for letting her stay there and scare away families. Should’ve remembered the alarm asshole.”

Kevin tried to leave, but Blitzo wasn’t having any of it. “Satan damn it, you can let her stay this f*cking once! Just one time, that’s all I’m asking!” But he wouldn’t budge, walking away with no sympathy, almost out of earshot when Blitzo tried a desperate bluff. “I’ll tell the boss you’re the one scalping the limited edition Robo-Fizz merch online!”

That caught Kevin’s attention, the imp giving Blitzo the dirtiest of stink eyes as he took Loona off his arms. “If I get one complaint from my boss about this I’ll-”

“Take it outta my paycheck, yeah I f*cking know,” Blitzo finished for him, giving Loona a goodbye pat on the head, as he then ran to the changing rooms. Of course, by the time he arrived, most of the actors were already on duty, leaving just him and a few extras getting ready, most of whom Blitzo didn’t know well enough to greet.

The imp passed them by, too tired and fed up to say anything, grabbed one of the tins of face paint, and began getting ready. He smeared the various face paints on almost like a robot, having done it so often it was a dull routine for him. Once that was done, he pulled out the spare clown costume inside his locker. He put on the uncomfortable clown nose, and the childish horn balls and went to put on the suit when he noticed…it was f*cking filthy!

“What the f*ck? Alright, who’s the asshole that dumped their lunch/sem*n all over the extra clown suit?!” He shouted pissed off, revealing the outfit to the other extras, showing that it was covered in juice, food stains, and even some excrement.

The extras just shrugged, completely apathetic to the imp’s distress. “Eh, probably Louie,” one of them said. “Think he and his boyfriend f*cked yesterday, during closing hours.”

“Yeah, probably should’ve remembered your own suit, if you cared about it that much about it. Nobody’s used that thing in weeks,” another one agreed, only further angering the imp. Blitzo opened his mouth to start shouting, only for the outside door to fly open as one of the other actors, marched towards him glaring annoyed.

“There you are, Blitzo!” He shouted grabbing Blitzo roughly by the arm, as he pointed towards the center of the park. “Get your ass moving over to Fizz’s tent right the f*ck now! Kids are wanting their balloons!”

Blitzo cringed in pain at the force and wrestled himself out of the hold. “Are you sh*tting me? Sir, I can’t go out wearing this thing. It’s uglier than your ex-husband!” He showed his ruined clown suit to prove his point.

The actor wasn’t the slightest moved, barking back. “Well, then it matches your face perfectly. Now get moving you f*cking diva! We ain’t paying you to bitch around!”

Two minutes later, Blitzo was out of the changing room and in the spare, shifting and cringing uncomfortably with every step, as he tried to ignore how gross the suit looked and felt to walk in. And his lack of a shower only made him feel worse. And the worst part about it was having to walk around in it, with the biggest, happiest smile he could fake, because this was Loo Loo Land. Where everything was fun, everyone was happy, and where throwing a fit on the job could end your career right then and there.

So he was stuck waiting by his balloon cart, offering his cheap wares to dumb kids, while the same 6 annoying songs repeated endlessly every hour, and refused to leave his brain long after he had left. It felt like they were taunting him at this point. What he wouldn’t kill for a smoke or decent drink right now…

“Can you believe they let a hound hybrid in this place? Gah, and here I thought this place was supposed to be family-friendly!” Blitzo’s desire for a stiff drink worsened, at the sound of a nearby succubus mother, catching to another, dragging her son on a leash as she scoffed in disgust. “Just wait til I get a hand on the manager! Next thing you know, they’ll let those untrained things loose on the children. And who knows, what diseases they carry.”

If Blitzo had his gun on him, he’d be tempted to shoot them right there job be damned. He opened his mouth to scream out a threat when-

“Hey, mister! I wanna a kitty cat! A kitty cat!” A young shark girl had asked that, being one of the many children exiting after another one of the Robo-Fizz’s shows. Her genuine smile was almost enough to cheer Blitzo up a little.

“Yah, heard the lady Fire Toad. Get to work.” Her dad, a chubby Hammerhead said with a gruff voice, shoving a wadded-up dollar in his face, with a deep frown, that drained any good mood he might’ve had.

The imp fought back a sigh, took the money, and began blowing up a balloon. A few twists and turns, and he had ended up with a fairly impressive animal. Actually looked like what it was supposed to for once. “Well, here you go kiddo, one little balloon cat-”

POP!

It burst within seconds of him handing it to the girl, much to her horror. “…which was just run over by a tow truck. Enjoy.”

The little girl burst into tears, while the dad gave him a furious glare. “I want my money back toad!”

“Sorry sir, no refunds. Company policy, all sales are final and all that sh*t,” Blitzo dismissed rudely, no longer in any mood to even appear apologetic or happy over the whole thing. “If you want I can make another one, for 10 percent off. Course it’ll likely blow up too.”

The hammerhead gave him a dirty glare, and walked away with his daughter, flipping Blitzo off while muttering how he was ‘filthy,’ ‘greedy’, ‘dirty’ and all other sorts of profanities. His daughter, however, broke free of his hold, tears still in her eyes as she walked right up towards the imp. Blitzo looking a little concerned.

“Uhhh, look kid. Sorry about the balloon. That happens sometimes, I was just having a-GAH f*ck!”

Blitzo cried out in pain, as the little girl kicked him in the leg as hard as she could, running back to her father, while the imp clutched his wound in pain. f*ck, she kicked hard for a little kid; felt like he had broken something. He struggled to get back up, some of the children laughing at his plight, while he silently cussed them out and wished this day would be over already.

“W-w-w-w-well, well, well! Looks like poor B-B-Blitzo had a whittle trip! I see you’re just as pop-pop-popular with the kids as ever. Hahahahaha” laughed the robotic voice that sounded eerily familiar to that of Blitzo’s oldest friend. Just the mechanical sound of it boiled his blood; Blitzo growled as he tried to ignore the Fizz Bot emerging from his tent to pick on his favorite target.

“Oh, f*ck off you metal pain in the ass,” growled Blitzo, refusing to meet the robot’s eye as he climbed back beside his cart. “Don’t you have another bajillion shows to do and kids to exploit?”

The robot just zipped over, until he was right beside Blitzo, placing a hand on his shoulder as he mockingly smiled at the imp. “O-O-O-O-Oh, don’t look so s-s-sad there B-B-Blitzo. Least they’re a-a-actually laughing at you t-t-t-t-this time.” Small sparks escaped from his neck, as the Robo-Fizz stuttered and gave the imp a venomous smile. “Y-y-you should consider physical c-c-comedy. Cause you’re clearly way b-b-better at it than your s-s-s-sorry little jokes.”

Blitzo slapped the Fizz’s hand off him, much to the robot’s amusem*nt as he glared into his face. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up you robotic hack job,” snapped Blitzo with an accusatory point. “The only reason kids like you is cause you steal all your material from your actually popular, and total sell-out, real self. Without his image to mooch off of, you’d be nothing more but parts for someone else’s used-up sexbot!”

If the Robo-Fizz had tears, he’d be shedding several of the crocodile variety, as he faked sadness and cried. “Boo hoo hoo, that’s not very n-n-n-n-nice of you Blitzoooooo. And I thought we w-w-w-were f-f-f-friends!” He then dropped the act and gave the imp a vicious smirk. “Guess that explains why you don’t have any.”

Blitzo flinched just a little at that, though he tried to play it off and grunted: “Yeah, well who needs ’em anyway? Not like you have any yourselves, besides your broken-up band back there.”

Robo-Fizz however noticed his little moment of weakness and grinned evily. “T-t-that’s the thing, friend.” The robot zipped right up into the imp’s face, moving so suddenly Blitzo tripped and landed on his butt. The jester just leaned into the imp’s face as he said: “Even if I’m just a r-r-r-ripoff, I still bring people more laughter and joy than you ever had in your whole l-l-l-life. A-a-at least, I have folks who care about me. Enough for them to wanna see m-m-me multiple times a day, a week, a month, even y-y-years! Even after all the kids have all grown up, they’ll still r-r-r-remember my face, my band, my songs and even come back with their own screaming l-l-l-little sh*ts, to watch my show, while you’ll be left forgotten and unl-l-l-loved. From the sh*tty circus to your b-b-b-bombs on stage, you’ll never be anything more than a pathetic failure! A complete and utter unloved f-f-f-f*ck up! How does that feel BLITZO?”

Blitzo was unable to respond, the animatronic clown’s words stabbing him right where it hurt the most, almost reducing him to a wreck. The robotic Fizz just cackled. “Hah! Now that’s a show worth seeing! Poor little B-B-B-Blitzo, completely speechless.”

The animatronic strolled back to his tent, laughing to himself, leaving Blitzo to pick himself up. The imp cringed and fought against the tears threatening to spill, as he did his best to resume his job, though he couldn’t hide how his hands shook for almost an hour afterward.

The rest of Blitzo’s day went on by in a blur; hours and minutes becoming interchangeable as he went about his work, blowing up balloons, shaping them into animals, most of which popped. Kids cried, parents complained, Robo-Fizz laughed and sang his annoying songs, his stomach ached from hunger, and his suit smelled and felt gross. At some point, he ate lunch, not that he could remember what, as he spent most of the day feeling like a zombie, forced to smile to please the masses. Finally, after Satan knew how many hours, his day came to a long overdue end.

The apartment door slowly creaked open, as a tired, stressed, and overworked imp trudged through with no hint of life in his eyes. And on his chest, relaxing in her little baby carrier was little Loonie, just as bubbly and happy as ever.

And why shouldn’t she be happy? After all, she had had a great day. Her daddy had left her off at the fun place with the other kids. She didn’t get to play with many of them, cause their mommies and daddies would take them away really quick, but there were lots of fun toys and yummy food and she could take lots of naps. The only bad thing was her papa wasn’t there. He’d always go missing whenever she was there, which made her a little sad. But he’d always come back to her, which was good.

Usually, Daddy would be smiling and happy when he came back to get her. But not this time. Daddy didn’t smile or make the funny noises he usually did. He didn’t even play with him on the big car like he always would. He just put her in her seat and didn’t do anything else.

Loonie started to frown, as she looked up at her daddy and then noticed he was making a sad face. And it looked really sad this time. That wasn’t good. She whined in worry and tried to touch her daddy’s head.

Blitzo sighed deeply when he noticed her; without looking he took her out of his carrier and placed on by her playpen. “Not now Loonie. Daddy needs some alone time.”

The hellpup however did not play with her toys and instead watched her dad walk into his room, leaving the door open. And despite only being a few months, something in the young toddler’s mind, made her feel something was wrong.

So, Little Loona slowly crawled over to her daddy’s room, wanting to help. When she entered, Loona saw that her dad was lying on his bed, looking at the wall. She cooed and crawled closer, and then noticed he was making unhappy noises. Like the ones she would make when she was scared, or hungry, or messy. Daddy said it was called…crying.

Was he crying? It sounded like it. And if so, then that meant he was sad. But she didn’t want her daddy to be sad. She had to do something.

Not knowing what else to do, little Loona crawled over to her daddy’s bed and tried to reach up to touch him, but her tiny arms were too small. She had to get closer. Had to reach better.

Loona placed her little paw on her daddy’s bed and began pushing up onto her feet. It was so hard as her feet were so wobbly and heavy, but still, she managed to get up. She started to whine with worry as she almost lost her balance, accidentally lifting her left leg. She fell forward…

And she did not fall over this time.

Loona looked down, and saw that her little foot were still on the ground. Her father momentarily forgotten, Loona cooed excitedly at the development. Her tail wagged as she then tried with her other leg. She moved it forward and stepped without any trouble. The imp-pup was so thrilled about it, that she started to laugh.

Soon the laughter was enough to make Blitzo peak from his spot. His eyes were still teary and tired, but he still climbed up from his bed to investigate the noise. His eyes widened in surprise, as he watched his little Loonie happy and laughing, as she took her first steps. A small gasp escaped him, causing the pup to notice him, Loona cooed and giggled, her arms reaching out towards him, as she took shaky steps towards her papa.

“L-Loonie you…you did it,” Blitzo whispered in awe, before proudly exclaiming: “YOU DID IT!”

Any hint of sadness was gone, as he jumped out of his bed and picked up his daughter, a beaming smile on his face, as he tossed her into the air. The stunt caused Loona to burst into giggles, as he then caught his daughter, pulled her in for a hug, and pelted her with kisses. “Oh Loonie, that’s my girl! That’s my girl! You took your first steps! I’m so f*cking proud of you sweetie!”

All the while, Loonie laughed, as she wagged her tail and began licking his face in turn, so proud of herself. Whatever she had done, had made it so her dad so no longer unhappy. But really, really happy. And that made her feel happy.

She wrapped her little arms around her daddy’s neck and nuzzled his chest, cooing softly at being close to him. Blitzo returned the gesture, happily hugging his daughter, never wanting to let go. The two of them didn’t depart until well into the night.

And as Blitzo drifted off into sleep, still smiling at the image of his daughter taking her first steps towards him, suddenly his miserable day, didn’t feel as bad anymore.